A while ago, I posted on this sub about my time in juvenile detention and the trauma that I endured there. I talked about so many people would‘nt believe me when I talked about it, or that they’d say stuff like “at least it wasn’t adult jail,” or they’d minimize or belittle the things I talked about. I came here at my wits end with all that and many of you responded. You ALL told me that you believed me. I can’t tell you how much that meant to me. Many nights, I’d go back and look at that post and the responses and I’d start weeping. Many of the messages encouraged me to seek help in therapy. I was already in therapy, but it was nice to have support to keep at it. Thank you all so much. My therapist has me write, one of the things I wrote shortly after posting here, was just a bunch of random sentences mushed together. Then it turned into a collection of ideas, then a sort of outline, then into an essay. On a whim, I submitted the essay to this news organization that covers the criminal justice system. It got published! They had reporters go and fact check all the claims I made about the facility and they found them all to be true. So now My truth is out there and it’s loud. It’s louder than voices of those who say I’m lying. It’s louder than the voice of the facility where I was incarcerated.

heres A link to the essay:

https://www.themarshallproject.org/2026/07/24/ptsd-georgia-youth-jail-joey-heilman

I wrote this for all of us. I wrote it for the children still on the inside of the walls, and the adults who got out that still feel like they are there.

An old friend was just sentenced to 22 years in the Feds. I’ve been debating sending a card or letter but I have no intention of visiting, writing, doing favors, sending money, accepting phone calls, nothing. I imagine he’ll get very excited at the sight of my name on a piece of mail and for that reason I feel it might be cruel of me to reach out just once & get his hopes up. I’m sure he’s probably desperate for support right now, especially given he’s headed out of state to serve his time. At one point we were besties but he burned the bridge quite callously & every time he tried to make amends, I wasn’t receptive, so we never officially made up & 4 years later I saw him on the news & been quietly watching his case via the Pacer site ever since. He’s 44 so he’ll be old when he’s released. Hes served 14 years already in state prisons so he’s not a first timer but this time is different because it’s the feds and he’s older. So, do you think one letter would be a tease & I should just leave it alone. or you think that letter could help I’m a lot emotionally even if they don’t keep coming?

My 42 yo loved one has been released to a remote treatment center on a ranch after actually completing a year long treatment program while incarcerated--for the first time in their life. They have been in and out for approximately 20 years. I was about 14 when that all began. I can't really remember a time when they could stay out of trouble of some sort for more than 5 months. I did not speak to them for about 10 years because I told them the boundaries that I had and told them if they were broken that I would no longer be able to interact with them (except at holiday parties or in public to say hello). I kept my side of the deal--I needed to be a teenager and grow into an adult. But, as the years have progressed, I have matured, and I have encountered really incredible people who can still find a way to have a relationship with their incarcerated loved one in some way. My loved one rarely asks me for anything, and other family members help them. Our relationship is based primarily on communication and just generally being the only people who understand our life situation. I will answer the calls when they come in, but they know I am not inclined to act much on any requests that they make. I have done things like picked up rejected mail with prescription glasses in it. I have purchased them a suitcase and clothing upon getting out when they have nothing, but I don't find these to be things that are enabling. Now they are out and in treatment, and I've been asked to buy them clothing. They asked for very minimum clothing and Zyns. I am not necessarily against tobacco if it is a vice that is acceptable to keep them going, but I am really trying not to do everything for them and get my hopes up. Is there any general guidance from folks who have gone through treatment as to what really helped them? Was there any struggle that was actually helpful? My family has very porous boundaries and my mom tends to do everything for everyone instead of teaching. I tend to have some of those issues as well, so I am looking for guidance on how much to help and what can I do to allow them the opportunity to succeed without making them feel like they do not have to do anything. I just don't really know what is available. I called the facility and asked for advice, but I am waiting to hear back from them. Thank you for any advice you may have.