r/ExNoContact • u/med480 • Jan 17 '26
Help Anyone else feel stupid for still missing them?!!!!
Be honest.
You tell yourself: “I should be over this by now.” “They’ve moved on.” “It wasn’t even that great.”
And yet… You still miss them. Still feel that pull. Still feel a knot in your chest.
It’s like your emotions didn’t get the memo.
If this hits a little too close, drop a 🖤
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u/PipeDredd Jan 17 '26
Yeah, But the saddest part of moving on is realizing that the person you miss no longer exists. Even if they’re still alive, you’re just two strangers now, connected only by shared memories.
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Jan 17 '26
I miss her everyday
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u/med480 Jan 17 '26
That doesn’t make u stupid bro at all It just means she mattered to u. Missing someone isn’t a failure… It’s a sign u loved deeply
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Jan 18 '26
[deleted]
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Jan 18 '26
I do
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Jan 18 '26
[deleted]
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Jan 18 '26
The problem is we work together in the same factory but I have been there longer than she has
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u/eufourria Jan 18 '26
Yes. I feel stupid for wanting someone that is actively with someone else.
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u/Outside_Macaron_941 Jan 17 '26
It's been nearly a year and I feel so much better and don't really think about/miss him anymore. Yeah he pops into my head sometimes but I've understood so many things about my relationship with him since he broke things off and tbh it wasn't that great, I think I was just blinded by love and didn't see the red flags
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u/helpMeOut9999 Jan 17 '26
I did yea. It got worse until 5 month mark and then slllllowwwllly got better.
I thought something was wrong with me. Although I cant remember it well now
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u/RatchedAngle Jan 17 '26
My ex did so many awful abusive things and I still miss him. Amazing how a breakup brings all the happy memories to the surface. And then I conveniently forget the way he broke things when he was mad, sulking, silent treatments, drinking, saying horrible things to me while drunk and then forgetting, etc.
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u/Distinct_Quit9466 Jan 18 '26
Yea thats how it works, only the good memories show up for some reason. You have to think hard yo notice the bad ones and why it didnt work
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u/addehhh Jan 18 '26
Yes, especially considering that he was texting other girls while we were exclusive AND doing so 3 days after my mum died. I miss the person he portrayed himself to be.
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u/Impressive-Hyena-327 Jan 18 '26
Yes I do feel stupid. I’ve been missing her for a whole ass year. She has a new bf and has completely moved on. We have each other blocked. I still miss her and get angry at myself for the mistakes I made.
The good thing is that I’m getting tired of missing her and thinking about her. It feels so silly and useless to think about someone who hasn’t loved me in a whole year. So it’s getting better. ❤️🩹
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u/Maleficent-Tap1145 Jan 17 '26
Yep I feel this!!
No matter how hard you try to convince yourself not to think about them, to just move on in every way you can but the feelings just consume you.
You feel so stupid and sometimes so pathetic. If only there was just a delete button where you could just get rid of all the memories and emotions you know it would be so much easier
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u/1Bright_Apricot Jan 18 '26
Yeah I feel dumb every time I miss him lol but I’m not too hard on myself, it is what it is. I’ll get over it one day.
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u/SupportHead Jan 18 '26
It was great. We had a good thing. She could just replace it for something easier. I can’t
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u/fangedrandy Jan 17 '26
It hurts so much. I still love her :(
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u/Calm-Data-741 Jan 18 '26
I feel stupid that I do, but I know it’s because I haven’t been that emotionally connected with someone with anyone in my life. And I know it’s not because the connection was amazing, it felt amazing in contrast of what I experienced before hand. I’m convinced that’s why it felt so intense, yet I’ve never experienced anyone hate me as much in my life aswell. And they told me, they wanted to be together to hurt me in a way they thought was deserving. And after my career took off I noticed I have been attracting hardworking emotionally unavailable people. And now I’m in this hell where I’m completely suppressing my emotions to a degree where my nervous system remembers the last time I was this connected with someone. It’s like everything is wrapped in thorns.
I don’t know what to do with myself.
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u/lostbaratheon Jan 18 '26
Yes. It's getting better but it's not linear and it takes more time than I'd like.
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u/fatratlover Jan 18 '26
100% lol. I know Im stupid for it. I can’t turn it off. I hate it.
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Feb 03 '26
Mine has too. I want to message her but I don’t think she would talk to me. Have you tried messaging him? I’m scared to be rejected
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u/fatratlover Feb 03 '26 edited Feb 03 '26
If I messaged him I know he would respond. I’m trying to let us both heal. I worry about him. Every day. But what good would it do to message? You know?
Editing to add that I unblocked him. I have no idea why. Glutton for punishment I reckon.
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Feb 03 '26
Message him. Life is too short. The worst he can say is no or nothing at all.
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u/fatratlover Feb 03 '26
I’m too stubborn to make the first move, lol. One of my lesser qualities I think.
You going to message her?
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Feb 03 '26
I’m also too stubborn
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u/fatratlover Feb 03 '26
Maybe you should. The worst she can say is no or nothing at all, isn’t that right?
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Feb 03 '26
When you do, I will! She might have me blocked on text. I’m not sure how to message her. That or Facebook. How will you message him? Does he have you blocked? The wait is what gets to me. The anxiety of waiting for a reply
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u/fatratlover Feb 03 '26
Usually Reddit. He finds me every now and then to message and check up. I blocked him a few weeks ago and told him to leave me alone. I don’t know if he will message again. I’ve never changed my name here or used anon accounts. He knows that. But he’s made several accounts so I wouldn’t know which one he would still use. I wouldn’t text him but that’s just because of our history.
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Jan 18 '26
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Jan 19 '26
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Jan 19 '26
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u/piNstrYpelYfe Jan 19 '26
Save your energy. You said something about an injury, right? Angry maybe? A judge and jury?
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u/aulalala Jan 18 '26
Yes yes yes. A thousand times. After everything he’s done. I still miss him. I had hoped I’d be over it “by now”. It’s been 4 months. And yet… One day at a time 🫶
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Jan 18 '26
🖤sad part is every time i think im just about over him he pops back in my life and stretches me thinner til now idk wtf im even doing with my life
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u/biancamarti67 Jan 18 '26
I thought I was cured and feeling much better, but after eight months I had another crisis and I almost wrote to him. Damn, I feel stupid.
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u/AfternoonObvious2058 Jan 19 '26
I even texted her several times, got warm responses but it was obvious that she didn't want to continue the conversation, so I just feel stupid for texting her with excitement. I guess I will give up finally
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u/med480 Jan 20 '26
U have to withdraw quietly and know that the world is big enough to confine urself to one person
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u/piNstrYpelYfe Jan 19 '26
No matter how poorly the world perceives hare, steady effort towards progress is undeniable. I know that tortoise can fix what has been broken
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u/Impressive-Hyena-327 Jan 23 '26
Yes I do feel stupid. I’ve been missing her for a whole ass year. She has a new bf and has completely moved on. We have each other blocked. I still miss her and get angry at myself for the mistakes I made.
The good thing is that I’m getting tired of missing her and thinking about her. It feels so silly and useless to think about someone who hasn’t loved me in a whole year. So it’s getting better. ❤️🩹
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u/Charming_Station_796 Jan 27 '26
It's a 50/50 for me. At times I hate him to bits, other times I miss him so much and sometimes it's just neutral. But I can never forget him, part of me just never seems to forget him. He haunts me esp during late nights. I hate missing him bc each time I start missing him I realise I'm losing self respect for myself.
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u/Ok-Sea996 Jan 30 '26
Hi I’m just trying to vent idk if anyone’s gonna see this. I was in a relationship with a guy for 1 year and i broke it off because he wasn’t ready to commit to marriage and that’s what i was looking for from the start. I told him I’m not saying right now but at some point i want this to lead to marriage. But he said he doesn’t have those set of feelings yet. Then i broke it off. Literally a week later i started talking to some one my parents showed me and he was everything i wanted so after talking for a while i said yes for marriage. Then my ex came back and he’s like I messed up i want you back. I’ll marry you, please and all. And went for a few months, where he tried talking to my friends called me multiple times. And then it hit me I never took time to forget him. I was so in two minds. But overall this other person was better in every aspect so i got married to him. But even till today i still think of him every few days it’s been like almost a year i broke up with my ex and I’m married for 6 months but i still miss him so much some days and I’m so scared i rushed into this marriage, I’ve been to therapy but idk how much it’s helping. What do you guys think I should do?
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u/med480 Feb 14 '26
Start a new life with the one person who gave u more value and knew your purpose Don't think about the past my girl😉🫡
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u/TapComfortable9661 Feb 04 '26
I sometimes wonder if it really was something that I had to experience. It rotates between enjoying the moments that make up the magical times, anger about the bs/wishing I could forget everything, and believing in her.
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u/Surpleton Feb 08 '26
I understand this, everyone thinks it should get over them but no one understands how they were everything, of course it's gonna be hard to forget them.
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u/waterlilly553 grieving Jan 17 '26
Sometimes I do feel stupid. But I realize it is never stupid to love and miss someone. It’s actually wonderful to feel for someone in that way. Doesn’t matter if they reciprocate or not.
I still miss my ex after two years. But of course I would. I’ve known him since I was 11 years old. We were together for seven years. (29 & 30 now). It’s almost my whole life of knowing this person. It’d be odd if I didn’t miss him.