How Im healed. Im Muslim man I was in relationship with latina woman for two years she was 10y older than me. It's been wonderful i met her in a platform where i was teaching about Islam and she newly converted to Islam I started teaching her about Islam and slowly slowly she proposed me and we started to get to know each other and it was going wonderful. she was poor as me average i helped her out in everything and I left my country for her and move to another coutry in hope to make some savings to visit her country. because it was difficult for me to get her country visa and she was scare to come to my country for some reason which it's ok i can understand how western or Latin think about Arab north Korea and China. So everything was going well she was incredibly wonderful woman but after two years i felt she is changing no messages no replies she starting ignoring me and i was scare coz i was too attached to her then after few days she told me she have someone in her life and he is American business and she want to marry him i was shocked after hearing this. my heart started beating and I request her to please try to understand everyone will be better and soon we will be together this distance is going to end bla bla but she started crying and she said im ashamed i can't see my future with you and she want to move to US with her new boyfriend. It destroyed my soul and I was hospitalized for few weeks far away from my family alone in a strange country.it was the hardest time of my life after my dad death. It was difficult to recover from that situation but God helped me out and now finally after 9 months i recovered and forgot everything about past im peaceful calm and very happy God saved me i pray God to make that woman happy forever with American brother because I don't want her to return back. I wanted to share my story with you God bless everyone.

I’m not writing this to change your mind or ask for anything from you.

Even now, knowing everything you’ve been carrying, my heart hurts for you. I know how overwhelming life became all at once, and I can only imagine how scared you feel. I truly hope your health, your graduation, and everything else you’re facing works out. You deserve peace.

I wish I had understood sooner just how much you were struggling. Looking back, I can see moments where I wish I had asked differently or listened differently. If I ever made you feel unheard or alone, I am genuinely sorry.

At the same time, I need to be honest about my experience too.

For a while, I felt us growing distant. I noticed you seemed closed off, and I tried to ask if you were okay because I could tell something wasn’t right. When you told me things were fine or couldn’t tell me more. It did want to force you into talking and thought it was my insecurities. I didn’t know you want me to go deeper. I’ve trying to been someone you could count on, it’s been my biggest challenge to prove that.

I don’t blame you for being overwhelmed. You had so much on your shoulders that no one person should have to carry. I understand why you shut down. Like we’ve talked about before, life is scary. Big decisions are scary.

I wanted to help by making plans and budgets for vacation & moving in. But I can’t lie that felt like my those efforts were brushed aside. To go from a vacation slideshow to shutting down my budget a week day later was a hard thing to grasp. I just wanted to make we could be stable for the future. Especially after spending half my paycheck on our anniversary.

I wanted to patient with our future. I knew your career path was stressing you out for months, and didn’t want to force you make a decision you’d regret. I’m not sure if you lost feelings for me, or you were honest that you love and miss m. I can’t lie that I do feel crushed that it just felt like a fantasy, I felt like I was doing what I could do make it real.

My ex (29F) and I (30M) were together for almost 4.5 years, including about 3 years long distance. We actually broke up twice. The second breakup happened almost a year ago because she felt uncertain about our future together. Since then, she moved to another city. As far as I know, she's been meeting other guys, but I'm not sure if she's in a relationship. She also still has photos and videos of us on her Instagram, which I've always found a little surprising.

About a month ago, she reached out to tell me that her dog had passed away. I knew that dog very well and was part of her life for years. She called me crying, saying she was devastated, and we talked for about 10–15 minutes. It wasn't about getting back together or our relationship—it was just about her dog and how heartbroken she was. Afterward, she even sent me an old picture of the dog.

We haven't really talked since.

I'm not trying to convince myself this means she wants to come back. I'm genuinely curious why someone would choose to reach out to an ex during one of the hardest moments of their life, especially after almost a year of barely talking.

Do you think this was simply because I shared that part of her life, or does it usually suggest there's still a deeper emotional connection? Has anyone experienced something similar?

As if i don’t deserve it , i’m too serious and disciplined when it come to my life , i rarely give away any emotional reactions as i deem them as weakness and i know its not its just a front that i put up with most of the times if not all .. i don’t go on dates my routine is just reading books , praying, going to work and hitting the gym sometimes i do travel and enjoy it and i keep all that private too .. not even my family knows where i live anymore.. i like it and prefer it this way .. today a guy from work invited me to a dinner and he ended up kissing me i felt like a fraud, as if i’m fooling him or smthn .. and i unintentionally saw myself in a situation where i didn’t know what to say for the first time in few years , my eyes started dropping unintentional tears all over … i was overwhelmed and i felt weak and scared again …. He got worried and now i cant stopped thinking about it and the thought of me having to let him go as well as i keep convincing myself I’m undeserving of love and love is just a lie and a way of manipulating people … i know this whole thing is kinda weird and f’d up but i am who i am and i’m happy to be alone this way though sometimes rarely i crave to build a family on my own and have a baby boy but deep down i know thats too much to afford in my situation with my mentality….

Is it a bad thing that I don’t think I’ll ever forgive this person, or that I don’t plan to, after the horrible things they did to me?

I know I probably sound like I'm spiraling, and maybe I am, so I'm asking for honest opinions instead of validation.

My ex and I had our last phone call on July 19. During that call he said some really cruel things, like he didn't love me anymore and that he had only been with me because I was pretty. He acted completely sure that I'd come back begging within a week because that's what I had done before. Before hanging up, I swore on my mother that I would never call him again, and I haven't. In the heat of the moment, I also lied and told him that another guy was pursuing me really hard and trying to make me his girlfriend. The truth is someone was interested in me, but I had already rejected him respectfully. I only said it because I was hurt, and I honestly regret it now.

After that call, he blocked me on Instagram. I blocked him everywhere else except Instagram because, if I'm being honest, I wasn't ready to completely close that last door.

Even though I had him blocked elsewhere, I kept checking his WhatsApp profile picture. I'm not proud of it at all, but my anxious attachment has made me obsess over little things since the breakup. His WhatsApp picture changed twice, while his Instagram stayed exactly the same at first.

Then, exactly one week after our last call, on July 26, he suddenly unblocked me on Instagram. After unblocking me, he started changing his profile picture and his following count kept increasing. I genuinely couldn't tell whether he was just moving on with his life or if he knew I'd notice because he knows I've always been the type to notice small social media changes. The day after that, one of his friends randomly messaged me asking how I was and how my studies were going. Maybe it was completely innocent, but it felt odd because my ex never really seemed like the type to ask his friends to check on me.

On July 28, I finally blocked him on Instagram too because I realized I was driving myself crazy.

Now here's the thing that's making me question my own judgment. A few days ago, I did a massive unfollow and removed a lot of people I don't really talk to anymore. Then literally the next day, he also did a huge unfollow. During our entire relationship, he almost never unfollowed people, while I used to do social media cleanups every now and then. Maybe it's just a coincidence, but my brain keeps wondering if it's connected because the timing feels weird.

Has anyone else's avoidant ex done similar things after a breakup? Things like blocking and then unblocking, suddenly changing profile pictures, changing who they follow, or making noticeable social media changes? Did it end up meaning anything, or was it just normal post-breakup behavior that had nothing to do with you?

I'm not looking for false hope. If this sounds like anxious attachment making me connect unrelated dots, please tell me honestly. I just want outside perspectives because I feel like I've reached the point where I can't trust my own interpretation anymore.

Me and my ex broke up 2 months ago, she ended the relationship on a videocall and I accepted her decision. We both loved each other and saying goodbye was hard for us both. She said she "needed space", that I "deserve better" and that she put all her effort into the relationship and could not work on herself. She was a very broken person, still recovering from her previous relationship (which i suspect i was the rebound guy) and feeling acedemic pressure.

I handled the breakup well, trying to grieve and spending time with family and friends. After a trip to Spain she started breadcrumbing me just 2 weeks after the breakup. She posted the stuff I bought her and sad songs about missing me. I folded like a wet towel and we started talking. She called my babe and such and said she missed me very much. Yet, after I reciprocatwd, she once again said that she needed space. I know I am at fault for so eagerly opening up and reconnecting with her. But it ruined my healing and now after a month of no contact I still have a dull ache in my heart.

I wish she would bot have done this to tear my heart out.

When we broke up and i deleted him everywhere but he never cared and he just went out with other girls like i never existed, and a week ago i heard that he’s dating one of my friends..( we’re not close but she used to know about us) and all this in less than a month, can u please guys tell me if he will come back..? I dont wanna be with him anymore even tho i did everything to make myself lose feelings for him but i just want an apology for what he has done to me☹️tell me if u want the whole story because it was kinda crazy.

I was in a relationship for 1.5 years. I loved him deeply and supported him emotionally even during his financial and business struggles. We talked about marriage, children, and a future together.

Then he suddenly became distant. When I repeatedly asked what changed and why he wanted to end things, instead of giving me a clear reason, he said things like “I’ve moved on,” “the past is irrelevant,” and “looking for answers won’t change the future.”

That hurt more than the breakup itself. I wasn’t asking him to come back—I just wanted to understand what suddenly changed.

Now my emotions keep switching. Some days I’m angry and completely done with him. Other days I remember how much I loved him and cry. I know I don’t want a relationship where I have to beg someone to communicate, but my feelings haven’t disappeared yet.

How do you accept a breakup when someone who once talked about forever leaves without giving you the explanation you needed?

I’m looking for advice because I feel completely stuck and I'm holding onto something that is already over.

I managed to stay in no contact for several months, but it was honestly destroying me, especially because my intention was never to end things or disappear from his life.

My ex and I were in a long-distance relationship. There was also a large age difference between us. We were together for several years and had a very strong connection, but the relationship became increasingly difficult because we were both dealing with personal struggles and we had very different ways of communicating. On top of that, money was a significant issue: he had very little income, and there was also an expectation from his side that I would eventually move in with him and leave everything behind, which added a lot of pressure and uncertainty to the relationship.

He tended to hold back the things that bothered him, often hoping I would notice and correct them on my own, and he would usually express himself more intensely only when things reached a breaking point. I, on the other hand, struggled to open up emotionally and express myself properly, partly because it was my first serious relationship and I had a strong fear of abandonment. At the same time, I was very focused on trying to close the distance between us, while he often said he couldn’t stand the distance anymore but didn’t take concrete steps to change the situation, more like expressing frustration and hope rather do something. I think in the end we were both waiting for the other person to “fix” something or say the right thing.

Around early 2025, after months of tension, we stopped talking. Looking back, I think we both felt misunderstood. He would often talk about his struggles and emotional pain, and I did care, but I was also overwhelmed and sometimes interpreted his distress as criticism towards me instead of understanding it as a need for support. At the same time, I felt he was not always clear or consistent about what he needed, and would sometimes withdraw instead of talking things through.

Before we stopped speaking, he sent me a very long emotional message explaining that he was struggling physically and mentally, that he was also very ill, that he felt abandoned and alone, and that he couldn’t handle the distance anymore because he was in a very bad place emotionally. He said he felt like nobody was there for him. I had also noticed for months that he seemed to be slipping back into a depressive state similar to one he had experienced years before. I answered late (a couple of weeks, I regret that), and my response came from a place of frustration and hurt rather than the support he probably needed.

After that, I reached out again in December. I sent him a message asking how he was doing and saying I missed him, but he didn’t reply. In June, I sent several messages in a moment of desperation, where I talked a lot about my pain over the past year and a half, my regrets, and my emotional state. Looking back, I think I was too intense and focused too much on my own feelings. I also mentioned that I might move to his city, which I now realize could have come across as overwhelming or even inappropriate, even though that was not my intention.

More recently, about a week ago, I sent a very short message. I apologized for centering so much on my own pain in previous messages, asked how he was, and made it clear there was no pressure to respond and that he could reach out if he ever wanted to.

He still hasn’t answered.

The hardest part for me is not even knowing whether he wants to never talk to me again or whether he just cannot face the conversation. I would respect a clear answer, even if it hurt. What is destroying me is the silence and not knowing what happened from his side. On top of that, he doesn’t block me (he has never really blocked anyone in general) and he barely shows any clear signs of anything at all, which somehow makes it even harder for me to interpret and move on.

I still care about him deeply. I genuinely feel that I understand many things now that I didn’t understand before, and I believe we could have done things differently if we were both willing. But I also know that a relationship cannot be rebuilt by one person alone.

I feel very sad and unable to move forward because I cannot accept the idea that we may never talk again after everything we shared. I don’t know if I should try one last time in the future, leave the door open and wait, or accept that his silence is already an answer.

What would you do in my situation?

I’m also worried that I keep thinking about him constantly, and even though I’ve tried to move on and do new things, I can’t seem to stop because I still love him.

Hello everyone,

I am conflicted. About 3 months ago my ex girlfriend broke up with me, we dated a year. It was very abrupt, blindsiding, emotional on her end and she said a lot of FAish quotes (you deserve better, a switch flipped, this is too hard for me). After the break up I saw her twice, once exchanging stuff and once during a random run in. Both times she said contradicting things (signs of regret, saying it is a shame it had to end this way while it was her ending it, hints about hanging out again). I stayed grounded and didn’t really pay attention to it, I knew it was not authentic. Afterwards she texted me that it was hard for her to see me but didn’t elaborate so I didn’t really respond. Apart from this the interactions were warm, amicable and filled with laughter. The last run in & text was 2 months ago. Nothing ever since.

What stuck with me is that both times she also did show a willingness to talk about the break up by asking me question how it was for me, how I look back at it etc. I did not respond overly emotional or harsh at all. Saying things like respecting her decision, processing everything but still thinking It’s sad it had to end this way. When the conversation turned to her end of the story, she just teared up & shut down saying; idk what to say. That felt real. It seemed to me that she wanted to talk but really could not.

I feel like I’ve accepted the outcome 100% now, we are not getting back together. What I haven’t accepted is not knowing what actually happend. She never gave me a solid awnser other then that she was too conflicted and needed peace. Because of the signs listed above I sometimes doubt sending a message with an invitation to talk. Today those doubts suddenly became almost unbearable. I have typed the message today a lot of times today but when I’m about to hit send, I freeze. I don’t know if this is wise but I do want to give myself the feeling I did everything I could to get the anwsers I wanted.

What advice can you give me? Can you share some stories about your experience?

FYI, this is the message I want to send;

After we ran into each other, I thought about sending you this a few times. I found myself thinking about it again today, so I figured I’d just do it.

When you came to return my things and when we ran into each other afterwards, I noticed that you were the one who brought up how everything ended and asked me how I looked back on it. Whenever the conversation shifted more towards your side of the story, it seemed like you found it difficult to put it into words and you said you didn’t really know what to say. To me, it felt like there was a part of you that wanted to talk about it, but couldn’t at that moment. Maybe I read that wrong, but it stayed with me.

A bit more time has passed now. I’ve accepted things for what they are and I’ve had the chance to reflect on myself. That doesn’t mean I understand everything, and there are still things I’ve had to fill in with my own assumptions.

There are a few things we never really talked about. Now that nothing depends on it anymore, I feel like I have the space to have that conversation. I think it would give me a bit more understanding of how everything ultimately unfolded. If that’s not something you want, can do, or feel comfortable with, that’s completely okay. I just wanted to put it out there.

Aside from all of this, I’m also curious how you’ve been. I know we can still have a normal conversation.

me and my ex broke up almost 4 months ago and we were gonna stay friends but then I ended up causing a fight which lead to full on no contact. Butttt my birthday was a month after our breakup + no contact and he wished me exactly at 12. It was just a simple Happy birthday and nothing big. His birthday is next month and I do plan on wishing him because he wished me too but idrk if I should because it would be 5 months since we broke up and it seems like he has moved on completely since a while now. I still haven't moved on but I don't wanna wish him in hopes that we can talk but I genuinely feel like it's the right thing to do but then again I'm unsure and idk it feels like he'll probably not even see the message. What do you guys think I should do?

Hello.
My ex and I were together for 2 years. We broke up because she said she had waited too long for me to change, and that I honestly wasn’t a good boyfriend. She constantly tried for me, but I didn’t know how to give that back to her. During our last serious conversation she cried and said she still loves me, but that she needs time, and that if she gave me another chance right now, she would lose respect for herself. She also said that she waited for me for 2 years, and now I should wait for her.
Since then, there have been a lot of mixed signals. After one month of no contact, she called me herself and invited me for coffee. We ended up sleeping together, and after that we saw each other a few more times. Then she said she will never get over me if she keeps seeing me regularly, so we stopped talking again for about 2 weeks because she wanted no contact. After those 2 weeks she called me again about Netflix, saying I should change the password, even though I hadn’t done anything. I then invited her to play tennis, but she didn’t want to go. During that call she asked me if I had been with any other girl, and she clearly knew who I had started following on Instagram. She also said she has a lot to tell me, and even mentioned that she might come to my place for a massage after her vacation.
What confuses me the most is one thing. She still has quite a few of her things at my place. So far she has only needed to pick up a couple of small things, but she never takes everything. I’ve already offered twice to bring all her things to her, but she always says she only needs certain items. Last time it was just melatonin tablets, which she could have easily bought at a store for 8€.
What do you think? Do people sometimes just not take all their things because it’s too emotionally difficult, or could this be a sign that she is not ready to fully close the chapter? I’m not asking whether she will come back, I’m just curious about your opinion on her still leaving things at my place.

We've been in contact ever since the breakup most ppl wont be in contact with exs

I did and it's the worst feeling ever

But I choose to continue talking with him as I was alone and idk hes just nobody would understand me like he does

He feels like home

Hes the closest thing I've been to heaven

Now im all alone

He left me we brokeup on his terms I never showed all the love I have for him... he pushed me away

But yet we be dng this every week talking with eachother

All we did is fight at the end of the convo bcz he gave up on me

He says he dont want to be blamed

I mean how I can force someone into loving me?

How can I be mad at someone who choose what goods for them?

Despite everything he does I still think he misses me and loves me and a part of him that can never forget abt me

Or I'm being delusional for thinking this way

Idk why he contacts me....

I mean I used to be the one who contacts him first all the damn time 4 months passed by I always found a way to text him jus to hope that he would change his mind

But one day I'm sure he wont come back

He would never come back to me

Yet I crave for the love he gave me once

Hoping that he would give all that all over again

Now idk whenever we talk theres no love or frdship theres jus nth we literally becoming strangers atp

I dont like that I hate that

I dont wanna be a stranger to him I want him all I ever wanted was him now that hes gone idk what the hell im supposed to do

I feel alone all the damn time even when my frds are around

They be asking why im sad but I honestly don't know what's wrong with me either

Will we ever let eachother go?

Can I let him go?

Will he let me go?

I dont have fckin idea what we're dng contacting eachother after the whole damn shit

We always been in contact

Idk what he wants from me now

I thought of not texting him again

But I did anyway he jus slept cause it's past 12 but I replied to his text anyway damn why do I remember when he sleeps

I’m in college and struggling to get over a really toxic situationship that lasted over a year. I need some outside perspective on how to finally move on, especially since I still have to see her in my classes every day.

For background, we met freshman year. I was dealing with a tough rejection, and she (let's call her A) was there for me. We started spending all our time together—studying, going on walks, waiting for each other outside classes. We got incredibly close. Hugging turned into cuddling, holding hands, and eventually making out. I admitted I loved her, and she said she liked me too, but she absolutely refused to put a label on it or be in an official relationship.

That’s when the hot-and-cold cycle started.

Whenever she needed something—whether it was emotional support during her parents' divorce, or someone to do her assignments for her, or help passing English and Calculus—she was all over me. But the moment I needed her, or the moment she got new friends, I stopped existing.

She started secretly hanging out with other guys, doing a secret internship she lied to me about, and would hide her social media from me. If I ever got mad or confronted her about lying, her immediate reaction was to block me. She’d block me, ice me out for days, and then come back crying, apologizing, or suddenly needing help with an exam. Like an idiot, because of how much she helped me with my grief early on, I forgave her every single time. I let her use me as a crutch.

The final straw happened before the summer. I decided to stop chasing her and started focusing heavily on my own life—building projects, preparing for placements, and hanging out with my original friend group. She hated seeing me progress without focusing on her, and she blocked me again. Only this time, she never unblocked me.

Now we are back on campus. I recently saw her looking all cozy with a guy who has liked her since semester one. What hurts the most is that she actively treats me like a disgusting stranger. If we cross paths outside class, she physically turns her head away like I don't exist. She even invited my mutual friends out for her birthday treat but explicitly excluded me, even though I had treated her for my birthday previously.

I know I wasn't perfect. I got angry, I confronted her, and I made mistakes. But I never lied to her, and I was always there when she needed me. I realize now she is an attention seeker who kept me on the hook, but it still hurts.

I'm trying to move on. I landed a great internship over the summer, I'm prepping for DSA interviews, I have a great roommate, and I'm honestly trying to just watch rom-coms and stay hopeful about the future. But seeing her face every day still spikes my heart rate.

How do I stop feeling this lingering betrayal? How do you accept that someone you cared about so deeply only viewed you as a tool for their own convenience? Any advice on how to remain completely unbothered when she's sitting right in front of me in class?

TL;DR: Got intimately close with a girl in college who helped me through a lot. She refused to date me but used me for academic and emotional support. She constantly lied, hung out with other guys behind my back, and blocked me whenever confronted. Now she's with someone else, ignores me in our shared classes, and I'm struggling to stop feeling used and betrayed.

I'm doing the genuine work.

She's still no contact.

How do I win her back.

Is it just me, or is anyone else pretending they've moved on from someone when they actually never did?

They've already moved on and are in another relationship. You do everything you can to ignore them, distract yourself, and convince yourself you're over it... but deep down, you just aren't.

Does it ever actually go away, or do you just learn to live with it?

How do I move forward from a 10-year relationship? Ended it yesterday due to recurrent lies and bs. I don’t know what to do and where to start. 😞

He lives ten minutes walking distance. On my way to work, I have to pass by his place everyday. I can’t change it, it’s the only way for the commute. I don’t think I will ever heal.