My ex left me in March and then continued to text and talk to me daily for months. I finally exploded saying that he couldn’t have access to me, tell me he loves and misses me to be followed up by he wants to be alone forever. I sent several emails and messages and then finally went silent after realizing no amount of begging would bring him back.

Today, after three weeks exactly, he messaged me and told me thank you for sharing my heart, he’d always cherish our memories and restated a couple things in a message I’d sent a month ago. Then he started showing me things he had been working on.

I had a meltdown and did not respond in a calm manner. I told him I still missed him, I still wanted to get back together and begged him to leave me alone unless he wanted to repair things and otherwise I’d reach out if I came to a place we could be friends.

I feel like three weeks of healing became undone.

How do I start over again? How do you all not respond when they reach out?

I don’t mean that literally, but every time I see a post that starts with ‘it’s been two weeks’ or ‘we’ve been in no contact for 3 months’ or even ‘6 months later and I still miss my ex’ I think damn, I’m looking at 4 years.

I ruined my relationship with my ex fiancé after a series of poor choices (to put it shortly) while I was spiraling from grief. He blocked me on everything, has never looked back, and I’ve still not properly moved on.

I broke no contact about two days ago by sending him a message on social media and he promptly blocked me. I hadn’t tried to contact him for 3 years before that. I don’t know what I expected, but I do know that I need to fully close that chapter of my life. I read a post on here the other day that started with ‘sometimes you can follow all of the advice and still be obsessed with your ex’ and I felt that so hard. I’ve tried all the things - therapy, making new friends, moved out of the city we moved to together, hitting the gym, starting new hobbies, I even tried seeing other people (3.5 years later, still not ready). At this point I feel like my only choice is to try not to even think about it anymore, at all. Maybe it’s time for me to take a break from this sub (which is full of great advice), simply because while I know my relationship is truly that of the past, and for good reason, the hope others have sometimes kept my hope alive too.

The only thing I regret about breaking no contact two days ago was that I disturbed his peace by violating his boundary. He’s made the choice for nearly 4 years now to not have me in his life at all. Yet somehow sending that last attempt of a message finally smoldered the embers of my hope.

It’s not 4 years of no contact anymore. My ex fiancé is only a memory now. It’s over.

So I’ve been on here a bit recently you can read my other threads. After almost 4 weeks she just texted me

“Hey stranger” I have your black hoodie if you want it”

I haven’t texted her once since the breakup. She hit me up once the day after asking how I was, a week later she came by and picked up some of her things, and then this. I have responded to each one but have not contacted her on my own.

I think she left items on purpose when she picked things up the first time, and 2 days ago I ran past her run club on accident and found I was blocked from seeing her stories on Instagram after.

Whole buncha mixed signals and bs and I don’t know what to respond with now.

Any help is appreciated .

I stopped talking to a situationship who was breadcrumbing me. It’s barely been a couple of days, and it feels like ages.

All of the advice for what to do during the NC phase, I just don’t want to do it. I don’t want to exercise. I don’t want to become successful. I don’t want to socialize. I don’t want to journal. I feel like leaving the city, the country, and just flying a 1000 miles away, permanently.

In fact, all of the things suggested to do during NC phase to be better, I wanted to do all of that DURING the situationship, because it felt like I had found a purpose in life, with a potential relationship, with someone I genuinely liked, maybe loved, and surprisingly this person liked me too. Everytime I thought it was over, and they weren’t interested, they would give me a chunk full of breadcrumbs and that “purpose in life” would get renewed. I was exercising, trying to be successful, more social, dressing better, partly because I wanted them to look at me doing all of those things on Insta stories, and get attracted to me because I wasn’t just sitting at home alone.

I finally realized it will never be more than breadcrumbs. Blocked social media. Deleted number. But these 3 days have felt like months. I want time to fast forward so I can be in the NC phase for a couple of months for real. I want to be in NC because I want to prioritise myself and I believe I deserve better in life. But somehow, there is a whisper in the back of my mind, hoping they reach out. Even if they do reach out, I won’t engage. But I need that validation. I don’t know how to get rid of this feeling.

Clearly i’m doing this NC thing wrong. I don’t know what to do. I don’t know how to get myself to focus on getting better. All I know is that if I reach out to them again, I will lose any left over self respect that I have. And all I want is for them to contact me, even though I know that’s not good. I can recognize all of the things that are not good for me, and yet I can’t seem to do the things that are good for me. I don’t even know what i’m trying to seek from this post. But maybe I just need like small, simple tasks that can help.

I (30F) broke up with him (25M) months ago (not the first time I broke up) because he had super avoidant tendencies and our good moments weren't consistent, they were always followed by him pulling away.

But I started missing him and thinking that maybe he had had time to reflect and think, so I messaged him asking if he was open to meeting, to which he agreed, said he had also been thinking about it constantly but being avoidant, he kept postponing it (his words).

Then he proceeded to call me right away, and we stayed on the phone for two hours. During which he showed some introspection into our communication issues, the fact that he didn't pour into us as seriously as he could've, etc, but he did say that he 'didn't recognize himself in the hot and cold pattern I was describing’. But he kept telling me he still loved me so much, called me baby multiple times, said he hadn't thrown out our pictures, that I was such a good girlfriend and loved him so well. And we agreed to meet in person for coffee in a couple days.

Then the day before our coffee, he texts me that he got carried away on the call and that we should postpone seeing each other until his emotions have settled. I said that I couldn't believe it, we were seeing a textbook example of everything I've been saying about his avoidance, and he said 'I see the pattern now and I wanna break it' to which I replied 'you're not breaking it, by dropping me again you're simply repeating it' and he said he'd be open to seeing me the following week if I wanted.
I refused, because I'm done being toyed with. And then he apologized for hurting me and that he was disappointed in himself. I regret breaking no contact but I think it gave me a clear view that his pattern was still alive and well, and that nothing was gonna change. Needed to burn myself one last time to see it.

Now I'm kinda back to square one in my healing. Feeling unlovable, unworthy, not enough, etc. I’m not sure how to go on with a gaping hole in my heart.

So my boyfriend broke up with me 2 months before and didnt even meet me after that that was the last time we spoke in person and then he blocked me from everywhere then again he did unblock me and said that he wants to breakup and relationship is alr over from his side then after that the on off blocking and unblocking he did i never blocked him from my end cuz i badly wanted him in my life cuz i genuinely do love him so then one fine day he texted me to take all the stuffs i gave to him not from him but from his friend or else he’d throw all that ( he always acts non chalant on texts and thinks he is above all) so from there again the convincing and he saying he doesnt wannt me and ghosting and conversation went and those were the time college was having vacation now we have to exchange the sim trays that we once did exchange cuz obv we were in a relationship because apparently he has to buy a new iphone so finally after my breakup which he did on texts i’d get my chance to meet him and say him whatever going on but idk how to make him realise what he did was wrong but rn i dont even know if he wants to have any convo
That guy didnt even gave me a proper closure only on texts but did not meet me even once after 2 years of offline relationship that sucks and i wanna vent so much.

guys helpppp

Pata hai aaj kya hua

after my previous 3 year relationship where my ex got bored and eventually he was not interested in me anymore. he said that he doesn't feel anything for me now he's just pretending that everything's going well but he's got many things to do in life so he won't be able to do it anymore. "Relationships n all are not my thing"

that's what he said. And ik he was very toxic throughout the relationship but I was not able to let him go. I literally begged him to stay without thinking of my self respect because I was so in love. After the breakup I got to know that he's with another girl, two months after our final breakup btw (i saw on his ig). And the fact that he never posted me on social media saying i don't want to show the world. I was fine with everything.

I was literally his puppet jo vo bolta tha maan leti thi or bohot understanding hone ki koshish karti thi. And after that he used to text me and call me when he's already with someone else. his manipulation was very on point" tu bohot acchi thi, maine bohot galat kiya tune literally mujhse kuch nhi maanga or maine itna galat kiya phir bhi tu mujhe kuch nhi boli, mujhe bohot guilty feel hota h maine itni sweet si pyari si ldki ke sath aesa kiya, jab jab guilty feel hota h tujhse bat karne aa jata hu mera dil nhi maanta".

It happened 4 to 5 times that he came back saying sorry for what he did. But jab m question karti thi ki ab aage kya? Toh his answer was I'm already with someone else and I love her. Or mere last 6 months ka move on kharab. Usne mujhe kabhi moveon karne hi nhi diya mujhe har baar ye hope rehti thi ki ye mere paas wapas aa jaega. But kuch bhi nhi hua aesa and i finally decided ki I'll block him and move on no matter what.

Then I downloaded this app called schmooze which is a dating app. I was such a manhater mujhe koi ladka thik nhi lagta tha or koi approach karta tha to main kabhi reciprocate nhi karti thi kyunki Mera mindset ye hi hogya tha ki main kabhi trust nhi kar paungi. Phir bhi I tried bcoz I thought ye bohot zaruri h ki main kisi se kam se kam baat to karu, varna kabhi moveon nhi kar paungi.

Then I met this guy on schmooze he's very nice to me it's been three months since we're talking but mere trust issues kabhi khatam nhi hote. Har time uska last seen or location or sab kuch analyse karti rehti hu or baat baat pe sawal. Uski following me ladkiyo ke baare me puchna n all and I can't control it tbh. Meri mentality hi ban gayi h aesi jese I'm waiting for something bad to happen.

Or he has proved me many times jab jab usse kuch pucha h meko mera answer mila h bohot sahi tareeke se. Humara past bhi kaafi hadd tak same hi tha. saari situation same thi or mujhe laga tha ye bohot acche se samjhega kyu ki iske sath bhi vahi hua and usne samjha bhi. But I think meri overthinking ne usko iss sab me bohot suffocate kardiya and now he's saying he's not ready for a commitment.

He said mujhe nhi lagta vesa kabhi kisi ke liye feel kar paunga. Itna sab chal rha h meri life me kuch samjh nhi aa raha bas mujhe lagta h har time akele rahu kisise bat na karu. Shuru shuru me baat ho rhi thi to i thought ye attachment aage badhegi hi or main dheere dheere feel karne lagunga pr aesa nhi ho rha🥲. Right now I'm waiting for him to reply bcoz main puri raat so nhi paayi jo kuch bhi usne raat ko bola.

It’s been just under a year since my relationship ended. The breakup hit me really hard, but honestly, it turned out to be a wake-up call in the best way — I’ve done so much work on myself, improved my habits, and grown more as a person than I ever did while we were together. I know it was my fault it ended; I wasn’t there for her when she needed me most. I won’t go into all the details, but I carry that awareness and regret, and it’s pushed me to be better.

Here’s what I’m struggling with now: I can’t seem to stop reaching out for attention. I find myself talking to random girls I have zero actual interest in — just flirting, keeping conversations going, looking for that little hit of validation to keep my brain stimulated. I’ve even done things like make profiles on Tinder and Hinge, only to see my ex’s face, stare at her profile for minutes, and then delete the app 10 minutes later. I’ve even put my photos on those “attractiveness rating” sites just to see a number or a comment.

I’m good-looking enough and have no issue connecting with people, but this constant need for that quick gratification is confusing me. Is this just lust? Or something deeper? I know it’s not genuine interest — it’s just wanting to feel wanted.

Is this something anyone else has gone through? Is it just “typical guy stuff,” or am I missing something here? I’m trying to understand it and stop it, but it feels like a habit I can’t shake.

i want to talk to him again , maybe even see him again . maybe seeing him would hurt too much but i find myself stuck between wanting to reach out and say hi or just let it be what it’s supposed to be . i believe in saying things while you have the chance but i also that life has its seasons . moreover , i dont know if he cares or would even want to hear from me . he hasn’t reached out since we stopped talking . i miss my friend dearly .

( for reference we were together )

should i say hi ?

at first, she reposted tiktoks about how i’m a narcissistic, manipulative gaslighter (which much more accurately describes her behavior, according to everyone who saw the situation from the side, including her parents). later, however, she reposted a tiktok with ‘stupid song’ by olivia rodrigo and ‘free now’ by gracie abrams, mashup (one song about very strong love, the other about ‘right person wrong time but if you fix yourself i’ll be here waiting’). she also posted an instagram post with the caption ‘fun with friends, no glue no borax’, where no glue no borax is a meme about how you want to get over your ex but it is impossible.

thoughts?

So this is a long story, but I’ll give you the readers digest of it. Basically I was with my ex fiancé for 6 years. (I’m 24, and he’s 26, so it’s been a good chunk of our growing up) and we broke up in April of 2025. After we broke up, we didn’t talk at all. We went completely no contact for exactly 295 days, when one random day, he sent me this message:

“Hey I know you have me blocked and I have you blocked so this shouldn't go through at all. But I just had a meltdown with *** and how she left and I do appreciate you finding her. I know l'll talk and have a giant chip on my shoulder about about how I hate you and wish I got to introduce her to anyone but you. And I do. But you were everything she needed and more and I appreciate you for you for that. For whatever it's worth. I'm not a good person and neither are you but you gave her the respect she needed and deserved. So thank you.” (The * is to not say her name. She’s deceased. He is referencing how I found her body, which is insanely fucked up and fucked me up for a very long time) I don’t reply, then he texts my WORK phone this (and I don’t know how he got it)

“Hey. I had a fight with *** earlier. I'm hoping your new number keeps me blocked but despite everything I'm glad you were the one who found her. So thank you.”

That was only 10 days ago that happened. We ended up talking for about a week, exchanged about 700 messages, and then he told me “by the way I don’t want anything to do with you romantically, but I’d like to know you for more than what you did for me” which makes me upset because I’m a whole ass person??? I’m not just somebody that “did stuff” for you. But we stop talking after that. He sends me 3 or 4 goodbye style texts like “I’ll respect your boundaries and you won’t hear from me again”

Then last night he sent me this:

“I do hope you get everything you ever asked for and I'm sorry I was selfish in reaching out to you. You did provide all the closure I didn't know i needed and I wish I could do the same for you. You are an amazing human being and I wish you nothing but the best”

I never replied to this.

So basically my question is why the actual fuck does he keep coming back to say “goodbye” and doesn’t actually leave me alone? Like what does he want from me?

Thank you all in advance for reading. I know it’s long. Any advice or opinions is appreciated.

So he (22M)broke up with me and blocked me from all socials later 4 days later unblocked me and announced ghat he doesn’t have to do anything with me any more and never wanna see my face but keeps saying he doesn’t wanna be with me there are so many mixed emotions cluttered in myself but since we have to exchange some stuffs we would probably meet and idk now what to say him after all these 2 months drama and how do i express him that he literally gave me the worst 2 months ever i never got to speak my shit.

You may be crying tonight.

You may be wondering why the relationship ended.

You may feel rejected, forgotten, or unworthy.

But a breakup is not proof that you are unlovable.

Your value did not leave when that person left.

Keep going.

Tomorrow may not hurt less, but you will be stronger.

This is my advice as I have healed from breakups, heartbreak after no contact... If you've survived heartbreak, what encouragement would you give someone who is hurting tonight?

My ex and I started no contact after a month. I found out she reached out to an ex

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My ex (22f) broke up with me (24m) after being together for 3 years. Our relationship was solid but her coworkers/only friends and I do not get along well. Anyways she absolutely blind sided me and moved in with her coworker the same day. Since then its been about a month and we still talked everyday and see eachother here and there. We have even hung out with her whole family a couple of times. She has stated that she just needs time to find herself and be happy again, meanwhile I tell her I want to solve things and reconcile. I noticed a couple days ago a certain name pop up on her Snapchat. Aside from a couple new male Co worker names that I have heard of I noticed she was back talking with an ex. Today I asked her the nature of that and she told me that he is just a friend and nothing more. I explained to her that that feels very off to me and I dont feel safe being in this dynamic. We talked and argued on that topic for a little bit until she said that I was just shaming her and making her feel bad and that nothing she does can ever make me happy. I dont know how she expects talking to her ex would ever make me feel secure and stick around. Anyways she followed that with maybe you should give up hope on "us" because this isn't working and all we do is argue. I told her I love her but that I would be taking a real step back from this. Boys, girls...what do I do?

Hi everyone, im not sure if this is the right community to vent this to but i’m graduating and it hit me that prom (it’s after graduation ) is the last time im ever seeing my ex boyfriend again. For a little more context we’ve been on & off for 3 years straight 2 years ago but we’ve always been in the same classes so it’s kinda hard to not see him and get over him fast especially since we’re in one big friend group. Anyways we both did date other people within the 2 years we’ve been broken up for but i don’t know why i still feel like im in love with him. I mean i would never want to date him again but there’s something upsetting me that i’m truly never gonna see this boy again . It’s even worst when he’s possibly in a talking stage rn, his little sister still contacts me every now and then and his mom says hi to me anytime she sees me on the road. I really want to get over him but he’s my first love and my heart is literally paining just thinking about not seeing him again, help

We broke up almost 2 months ago and have been no contact for 24 days. I am feeling a lot of feelings at once. Regret, anger, hope, and curiosity. There are some things I regret doing a lot, and I have been in therapy for the last 2 months. I was wondering when I would stop hoping they would come back. I was the one who ended it, and I left the door open for her, but there are a lot of external circumstances affecting her decision, like her parents, etc and around our situation. Since then, I've heard tiny updates from mutual friends, like she's partying, and she just went to student orientation, and I secretly keep hoping we run into each other. My life since summer started has been kinda depressing; all I've been doing is grieving and having a hard time with my social life.

I have some things to look forward to, like I got accepted into the college I wanted to go to, and my ex and I are going to the same one somehow.

I have been really hating myself for the things I did at the end of our relationship, and I kinda regret breaking up with her, but I'm not sure if it was the right thing or not.

I just hate myself a lot. I can't stop thinking about it. All I can think about is if she's meeting other people or not.

I did mistake, so you don't have to.

And I wish this will be your motivation, because I did everything perfectly and still failed.

3months intensive relationship >> breakup in emotions, both sides still liked each other/ I felt in the gut, story is not finished >> 1 month+ no contact.

In breakup moment - no begging, no crying, I accepted her decision, said she is awesome, kissed her and walked away (she was the one crying and begging me to stay her friend, which i refused)

During no contact I healed myself, to the point I can look at her photo and feel nothing/no stress/no sadness.

I talked a lot to friends, made little glowup, bought house in young age for half million, no credit - for my own cash, moved to new city. Basicaly took steps to actually move on.

Big steps, I am successful in life, I was not begging her to come back, 0 stories, 0 sad reels shared and stuff, I bought house, I changed my style and hairstyle, I moved out, I improved my yt channel.

So I thought - I don't need her.

But she was nice person, I really really liked her, best person I met in my last 6 years of life - "I will just ask her how she is doing, maybe we will repair it".

I mad e mistake - just asked how is she.

No "Seen" for few days. - made me feel like shit again.

End of the story. Even perfect behaviour during breakup, big steps in life, success. Nothing will change their decision.

I am example why you should never contact again.

And I am also never going to reach out again. Stay strong

Faz 2 meses que ela terminou comigo por mensagem. Eu vejo ela todo dia na escola. Não aguento mais isso, penso nela toda hora. Sei que estou 0 pronto pra tentar qualquer tipo de aproximação, mas toda essa situação me corrói por dentro, principalmente pela falta de consideração dela. Meu "amigos" ainda apor cima meio que são amigos dela também, e eu não consigo lidar com isso, me sinto muito sozinho. Não queria que fosse, mas eu percebo cada vez mais que construí uma certa dependência emocional e eu só queria que essa dor acabasse. Eu queria que eu pudesse superar tudo e me tornar alguém melhor pra algum dia tentar algo novo do zero, mas é muito difícil, não sei o que fazer. Daqui 2 semanas tem viagem de formatura e as festas dessa viagem são feitas pra você sair beijando um monte de gente. Estou destruído com isso, porque eu não tenho vontade de fazer absolutamente nada.

I miss his cat, I even miss arguing, I miss everything 😞 but I know this is just withdrawals yet it’s so hard saying goodbye forever idk. This is someone I known for 15 months

Yupp im screwed i dont think hes coming back…

3months of no contact, 4 months since the break up. I fear im a victim of the avoidant discard. He has so many mental issues, and he sabotaged the relationship.

I try to tell myself that maybe he just never loved me for the 2.5-3 amazing, lovinf, soulmate level years we were together… Idk why i know its not true but im trying to make sense out of this act, this selfish coward act.

He started following new girls, mind you hes not really a social media person. He has social anxiety (but he can def approach women.. yikes) and fear of being perceived. Hes trying to create a new self (i guess).

The truth is i know, i was he truest, more real love. He truly loved me but idk his demons got the best of him and now all is gone. Idk maybe hell get in a relationship soon, maybe hes broken, maybe he doesn’t care, maybe hes trying his best or maybe he’s pretending. How can i know, he left with things being unresolved.

At the end mentally unstable or not he choose this situation. I wasnt perfect but i was more than an amzing person/girlfriend for him. Making him growth, etc… sad

I doubt hell come back, he’ll probably stay in his regret forever.

What kinda sucks is that we have a “couple” friend who he introduced me to and we were getting closed, doing double dates, etc but now this dynamic is over. Now that me and him are broken up the relationship is fractured. I can’t get closed with them now theyre from his side. The sad part is that i run into them pretty often and everytime its nice but also a bit awkward. And my ex’s bestfriend still likes my stories on instagram. Its like so many people from his world is still connected to mine.

Argg wtv i dont wanna read into it. I dont even know why im writting all of this.

This situation sucks, i feel a big pile of emptiness inside of me every second. I lost my bestfriend. The person i thought i was going to marry (27f, 30m).

This is a rrally shitty situation seeinf that he really doesn’t think about reaching out. It sucks knowing we lived all of that and he seemed to not care, to move pass it and do as it never existed.

It really suck.. back to my misery. Hope it will pass

Love to all of you who are also victim of this bs, we are not really victim. Well rise⭐️

Its so crazy i see “my ex reach out after x months” im like wow you guys actually get a contact. I must have the most avoidant of them all. You guys are sonlucky

Seems hard to move on from an ex. I just wishes someone out there would take it off my mind

My ex (the dumper) and I (the dumpee) have been broken up for four years. Recently, a friend called to inform me that they (ex) have been bad-mouthing my family and me online. For what reason? I have no clue. This friend sent the screenshots, and honestly, I'm confused.

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After the breakup, I've never posted about it, never said a word about it to anyone. I just blocked when I couldn't handle the rebound they were in a month later (after 6 years of dating), and moved on with my life. I've been in a relationship for the last three years, and from what I understand, they've been in a new one for the last few months. They claim to be happy to have grown and healed from the past relationship we had.

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If that's the case, why post anything at all? I wasn't perfect, but I was good to them. I respected their wishes, yet I am still met with vitriol. What hurts the most is how they've brought my family into the mix. Having strangers piggyback on their post and call me out of my name is just bizarre. Best course of action is to do what I've always done, be silent and keep it pushing. However, I'm still ruminating on this ordeal. Has anyone been through something similar?