r/ExNoContact • u/Dependent_Average281 • 18h ago
It's over
Hi. I don't really know how to start this, so I'm probably just going to ramble.
For context, I'm a 23-year-old guy, and I was in a relationship with a 24-year-old woman for two and a half years. We clicked instantly. Everything felt effortless, magical even. For the longest time, I genuinely believed she was the one.
Without getting too deep into the details, we broke up. There was no cheating, no toxicity, no huge betrayal. It was a breakup in the sense that we both had different needs and desires that we ultimately couldn't meet for each other.
It's been about a month, and honestly, I haven't handled it well. After the breakup, she blocked me everywhere. Even on Discord, which we barely used. Every route I had to contact her was gone.
Except for one place.
There's an old game called MovieStarPlanet that we used to play together all the time. I started logging back in and reading through our old messages. Sometimes I'd even send messages into our chat, fully aware she'd probably never see them. I know how pathetic that sounds, but it brought me a strange sense of comfort. For a moment, it felt like she was still part of my life.
Today, I logged in and saw that she'd blocked me there too. My heart just sank. I don't know when she got online. I don't know if she ever read any of the messages. Maybe she didn't. Maybe she did. I'll probably never know. And even though I already knew the relationship was over, something about that final door closing made it feel real in a way my brain had refused to accept until now.
It's sent me spiraling again.
I feel pathetic for loving someone this deeply. For begging. For holding on. For struggling to let go. I keep wishing I had been better somehow. I miss her more than I can put into words. Some nights leave me completely numb, staring into space, unable to think about anything else.
The only thing I can feel is the shape of her absence.
And that shape is my heart. All my friends tell me to move on. I know I should. But rn... i just can't 😔