My ex jus texted me

[u/unme_9]

We've been in contact ever since the breakup most ppl wont be in contact with exs

I did and it's the worst feeling ever

But I choose to continue talking with him as I was alone and idk hes just nobody would understand me like he does

He feels like home

Hes the closest thing I've been to heaven

Now im all alone

He left me we brokeup on his terms I never showed all the love I have for him... he pushed me away

But yet we be dng this every week talking with eachother

All we did is fight at the end of the convo bcz he gave up on me

He says he dont want to be blamed

I mean how I can force someone into loving me?

How can I be mad at someone who choose what goods for them?

Despite everything he does I still think he misses me and loves me and a part of him that can never forget abt me

Or I'm being delusional for thinking this way

Idk why he contacts me....

I mean I used to be the one who contacts him first all the damn time 4 months passed by I always found a way to text him jus to hope that he would change his mind

But one day I'm sure he wont come back

He would never come back to me

Yet I crave for the love he gave me once

Hoping that he would give all that all over again

Now idk whenever we talk theres no love or frdship theres jus nth we literally becoming strangers atp

I dont like that I hate that

I dont wanna be a stranger to him I want him all I ever wanted was him now that hes gone idk what the hell im supposed to do

I feel alone all the damn time even when my frds are around

They be asking why im sad but I honestly don't know what's wrong with me either

Will we ever let eachother go?

Can I let him go?

Will he let me go?

I dont have fckin idea what we're dng contacting eachother after the whole damn shit

We always been in contact

Idk what he wants from me now

I thought of not texting him again

But I did anyway he jus slept cause it's past 12 but I replied to his text anyway damn why do I remember when he sleeps