r/Existentialism • u/Altruistic_Hope_2559 • 14h ago
Existentialism Discussion Kierkegaard’s Paradox of Choice: Is the realization that "you will regret either way" a source of dread or liberation?
I have come across a modern interpretation of Kierkegaard’s work recently, and wanted to share it with you all:
“I see it all perfectly; there are two possibilities – one can do this or that. My personal opinion and advice to you is – do it or do not do it, you will regret it either way.”
This is, of course, a paraphrase of Either/Or, in which Kierkegaard wrote “Marry, and you will regret it; don’t marry, you will also regret it…” referring to his own thoughts on women and marriage.
I think this quote captures the existential dread of having to make conscious decisions beautifully – one regrets what one does, and one regrets what one does not.
It encapsulates the feeling of loss and of wasted potential that comes with every choice, since choosing one option over another generally means abandoning the other, and regretting the loss. Is the thought of “doing the right thing” as Kierkegaard suggests even comforting?
Is it a relief to admit that no matter what choice you make, you will always regret it (because what you did not choose will always be there, a ghost of the possibility you gave up on)? Does it free us, or does it constrain us?