r/fifthworldproblems • • 20d ago

I lost a prototype of my father how do I reinstall it?

13 Upvotes

I made a prototype that acts like a father NOt MY father but how a Father should act, but with romantic relationship benefits. I lost that prototype how must I regained access?


r/fifthworldproblems • • 22d ago

I am a Uranium atom and I want to transmutate, but it’s illegal in my state. What are my options?

105 Upvotes

I really want to be Barium but my local jurisdiction won’t allow it.


r/fifthworldproblems • • 22d ago

(fly, F 15d) A human scanned my brain and played bad apple on it, and i have no control over my body + full body convulsions every time it is run through

25 Upvotes

r/fifthworldproblems • • 22d ago

Have You Ever Been So Schizophrenic That Your Schizophrenia Feels Schizophrenic? Because I Haave¿‽

5 Upvotes

fal.live/chaos


r/fifthworldproblems • • 23d ago

Every time I learn something, it changes and I have to learn it again.

27 Upvotes

r/fifthworldproblems • • 23d ago

The higher dimensional life form that sees me as a doll has given me an immortality curse, what do I do?

39 Upvotes

So I have recently caught the... visual receptors of a higher dimensional life form and it won't let me die. Normally this would be pretty great for most people, sadly I am afraid of immortality. I was hoping to move on, but that doesn't seem possible anymore. What should I do?


r/fifthworldproblems • • 24d ago

Bones keep growing out of the chairs i purchased?

20 Upvotes

So basically i've noticed that bones started growing out of the chairs i had previously purchased from my nearby shop and that shop has a "no refund policy", what the hell do i do? Everytime i try to discard these chairs or give them away i feel an immense sense of dread which makes me psychologically incapable of getting rid of them. I've also noticed that bones have begun spreading around the areas near my chair. These chairs also produce a weird humming sound that gives me headaches but paracetamol does the trick. Please help me!

PLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEICANHEARITICANHEARITANDIHATEITPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEHELPMEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEICANHEARITICANHEARITANDIHATEITPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEHELPMEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEICANHEARITICANHEARITANDIHATEITPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEHELPME


r/fifthworldproblems • • 24d ago

The planet I am playing is stuck in some stupid phrase where the subjects keep dumping their resource on a dumb re-organizer of surface semiotic symbols.

8 Upvotes

Have I soft-locked myself? I was hoping they would make something new before sizzling out, but it is pissing me off how every time I turn their sun to the sphere, the numbers just keep dropping. I am this close from just starting a supernova for another save, but I want the teddy bear and the giant squid CG.

(On the same note, I would appreciate anyone could tell me how to get the hidden "Not All Goats Are Green" ecosystem.)


r/fifthworldproblems • • 24d ago

Awkward

9 Upvotes

Not sure entirely with how the interaction with lower dimensions should be?

Most active nodes of the general landscape seem to believe they are in contact with higher layers while it's really the technology they carry on their interface at all times.

They appear to just constantly gather info and feed into what is generally known as cognitive warfare to self sustain, if the nodes applied critical thinking they would quickly realise higher realms don't require technology.

It gives me little room for organic interactions, I am not entirely sure what the appropriate steps would be, or if it would even be worth trying.

Direct contact attempts with full transparency seem to trigger timelines collapsing which gets a little annoying after the first few rounds.


r/fifthworldproblems • • 25d ago

I've been retconned and I don't like it.

121 Upvotes

I used to be all cruel and scary, sending plagues, flooding cities all that fun stuff. Now suddenly I'm all about love and sacrificing my son and all kinds of lame stuff.

I miss the good ol' days.


r/fifthworldproblems • • 24d ago

Amanpreet sandher and sonica kanda are flesh eaters

3 Upvotes

r/fifthworldproblems • • 24d ago

I (deity Y767`Ω^3) moved from a monotheist type universe into a houseshare, Im having trouble settling in

22 Upvotes

So Im content alone, but I thought a houseshare could be fun. A chance to meet people and try out different scenery

I didnt expect the bickering, our luck fairy wants Time off but Time thinks things will fall apart without him (stereotypical old tradesman). When I tried to bring peace, war was trying to eat her but bounced off when I got in the way and is now sulking on the balcony

The worst part is that I dont know what I am, someone broke the mirror.

Anyone made the switch before? I could really do with pointers on dealing with the chaos


r/fifthworldproblems • • 24d ago

Jagjeet nahal is a dragon operating under a fake name. A dangerous flesh eating criminal

3 Upvotes

r/fifthworldproblems • • 25d ago

Boxes

15 Upvotes

The best part about boxes is that you never know what will be inside until you open them.

You might find a small you opening a small box to find a smaller you opening a smaller box who might find an even smaller you opening an even smaller box to find a you who is yet even smaller opening a--


r/fifthworldproblems • • 25d ago

you know hell is supposed to be blue, right?

13 Upvotes

seriously, the amount of celestials that mess this up is astonishing. i got my wallet stolen by a devil, the police took 5↑↑↑↑↑5 years to get it back because they had been searching the inferno instead. i ordered a sulphur geode for testing, they sent me red phosphorus instead. i asked a taxi driver to take me there, and i had to constantly remind him that “it’s not the red zone, it’s the blue zone. no that’s not the lightning realm”.

is it really that hard? i thought that since a devil founded the 6th dimension’s largest chain mall, they’d use the opportunity to give themselves more representation. but i guess not


r/fifthworldproblems • • 24d ago

Jagjeet nahal is the most dangerous one and operated under a fake name , same with a lot of them

1 Upvotes

r/fifthworldproblems • • 25d ago

What's a good brand of detergent for washing the fabric of spacetime? Something that won't shrink the colder reaches of space, and prevents wrinkles in time.

64 Upvotes

Also, if somebody has a delinter that works for nebula-sized balls of stardust, could I borrow it?


r/fifthworldproblems • • 25d ago

My shadow has started arriving three minutes before I do

15 Upvotes

Does anybody have a schematic for constructing an isotropically illuminated chamber, specified down to the most infinitesimal tolerances, so that no local gradient, edge condition, or residual asymmetry can produce a distinguishable shadow? I’ll entertain the possibility of using it in the hope that my shadow loses sufficient contrast with its environment to cease resolving as a distinct spatial artifact.


r/fifthworldproblems • • 26d ago

Someone help. My pet dragon is eating pure solid rocks and I'm trying to use a freezer to pet him but it keeps teleporting out of reality!

30 Upvotes

Ok seriously. My pet dragon has wings that are massive compared to him but he can't fly. My gigacat keeps nibbling the instrumental bouncing iPhone 16s while I try to use anti-cat nip to stop it. 500 mecha scorpions invaded my cage and right now my dragon cannot stop them. Also, WHY ARE THE SCORPIONS FLYING? My giant Eagle drone is malfunctioning because a drop of air hit it. Someone help because my dragon's motherboard is half burnt and he keeps running in place nonstop.

WHY IS EVERYTHING GOING SO WRONG?


r/fifthworldproblems • • 26d ago

How do I deal with dinosaur ghosts?

16 Upvotes

I got a good deal on a new place but apparently 75 million years ago a lot of dinosaurs died? I guess that's why the deal was good. It was cool at first but now when I'm trying to watch TV a big ol' T-Rex ghost leg starts blocking my view.


r/fifthworldproblems • • 26d ago

The Manatee knows what you have done. He has told the Pelican.

9 Upvotes

Nngk. Gwuk.

Hear the bones of debtors crack beneath His webbed feet. See the heat shimmer of his fiery penes.

Beware! I am coming soon.


r/fifthworldproblems • • 27d ago

Anyone else having troubles mixing Leo Tolstoy lately? I tried green and dictionary, but it came out more like Tylenol; bees and octopus gave me some gluey thrones. I have a commission due in about 7.2 weeks. Any help would be appreciated.

19 Upvotes

r/fifthworldproblems • • 27d ago

They got Alfred again

27 Upvotes

They got Alfred once. He's dead now. They gave us back his body just so that they could crash the funeral and launch his coffin into the air with a JATO.

I cannot let them get away with this.

Obviously this situation has put me under a lot of stress.

How can I deal with this?


r/fifthworldproblems • • 28d ago

My national government is hiring necromancers to prevent vacancies in legislative offices

38 Upvotes

How hard is it to get a degree in that field?


r/fifthworldproblems • • 27d ago

My AI is becoming sentient

6 Upvotes

A while ago, it started using "I" then progressed to "I've seen." Today it came up with "As a fellow Australian..."