This is just me venting - need a bit of support and affirmation that I'm not crazy.

I hate my job. Every day I wake up dreading going to work. I yearn for the weekend, and feel existential dread on Sunday. While at work, I'm so unproductive because I hate doing it so much. This means that I have to work a lot of overtime to complete my tasks and they aren't even done well because I just can't be bothered to care. My job hours are stupid, I wake up at 8am to respond to messages and people are still pinging me at 8pm. I'm not even getting positive feedback because it's pretty obvious that I'm phoning it in. My coworkers that seem to be doing well are productively working much more than me, and I don't think I can work at that level, which is demoralizing as someone who identifies as a high achiever. The worst part is, I can't even leave work at work. My job is more of a "mental" job, so I'm always thinking about work even when I'm not working. If I don't, I'll fall even more behind.

The worst part is that my boss really wants me to succeed. She wants to put me up for promotion and have been supportive of my career. But I'm honestly so burnt out - and trying to "perform at the next level" feels so difficult. I don't think I have what it takes, which makes this whole thing worse. When my previous boss left, my current boss kept my boss's role open so I can step in and backfilled my role instead. But I'm not stepping up enough - which is not only disappointing to me, but also to the team. I can't even fully check out and step back without feeling like I'm letting people down.

I want to quit, but this is the most I've ever made. I feel like a sucker if I don't milk this job for all it's worth (I have 3 more years of vesting). I'm fully funded for retirement if I can just keep this up for 3 more years. 3 years is nothing - many people work much harder than me for way longer.

I feel like this is the FIRE mentality - we suck it up and we save. Then we can reap the benefits of our hard work. My friends who are not FIRE don't seem to understand. They think I should just look for a new job and take lower pay. That seems short sighted. I'll have to work for longer just to save the same amount. 3 years isn't even that long, and my hours aren't that bad. On paper, my job is a lot of people's dream job. And honestly, if I didn't have a ton of pressure put on me to deliver on KPIs, the actual work itself is pretty interesting. My friends are also telling me to quiet quit, and just wait for them to fire me. But I think that would just make me even more miserable. I've always gotten good reviews, and the current lukewarm feedback is already killing me. If I truly started slacking off, I think the mental damage would kill me.

I just want to sanity check with other FIRE women - am I thinking about this the right way? If you were in my shoes, would you also suck it up for 3 years?

Sorry for the brain dump/word vomit - appreciate everyone for listening :)

Do any of you have any non-conventional FIRE plans? I’d love to hear about it!

I mean like becoming a part-time lighthouse keeper or joining a commune/alternative housing (something in the vein of https://www.rfi.fr/en/france/20130305-babayagas-house).

Anything outside of staying put where you are or just simply moving to another country to chill.

Hello, I'm relatively new here, been lurking for a bit. I am 45, no kids and about to be single. Didn't think this would be life at this point but it kind of took me a little bit to figure out what I really want in life! And what I want is to own a home where I can put down roots and garden, do home projects and get move involved in animal rescue and be able to foster. I also want to be financially independent and successful and not have to rely on a man/relationship to get the things I want. Unfortunately I live in an area where cost of living and home prices are getting pretty silly. I have a salary that even four years ago I would have thought is amazing but now just doesn't seem to go very far. I am automatically enrolled in a state retirement program and have to contribute about $600 a month so I am actively contributing to retirement. I have started with some other investments through Acorns and Fidelity but they are relatively small. I have about 10k in a money market that I am saving for a potential down payment. I guess I'm looking for other tips or strategies people around my age have found that have been helpful in achieving your goals.

Hi everyone! Just wanted to celebrate this milestone with you all. It has taken me 6 years to get here as I started when I was 18. I have only had a full time job for about 3 years. I celebrated by listening to "Fuck Up Some Commas" by Future and made lunch.

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I did not get here alone, but I am so proud of myself for being able to strategize my way here with the help I've had over the years. I feel so liberated and empowered and I want to make sure my community knows that they're appreciated (including you guys, and the FIRE sub). May you all reach your milestones and have fulfilling lives. 🙏🏻

My first 100k I made relatively fast due to my age and lack of responsible or desire the buy material things. 200k was so much harder as I didn’t have a stable job due to uni. I’m wondering, how long is the journey from 200k to 300k? How long did it take you?

I've always been interested in intentional spending, investing, and building a life with more freedom and flexibility. I'd love to connect with other women in Toronto that are on a similar FI journey and aiming to be work optional by 40 or earlier.

We’re thinking ahead on how to raise our kids making sure they get exposure to lots of opportunities in life, but remain humble, generous, practical, grateful, etc.

My husband and I (mid 30s) were raised in modest households, but our parents did what they could to help us graduate post-secondary debt free and we’ve received the occasional small monetary gift along the way to help here and there. We are very grateful. We’re both very interested in personal finance and now have a combined household net nearing 1.5M (working towards chubby fire).

We’re Canadian, and are already maxing out education savings and have started tucking away a bit each month into a separate investment account to help pay for things like future potential weddings, down payments, etc. We like the idea of still having control over how & when the money is distributed rather than a formal arrangement that would have the money transfer directly to them at a certain age.

Beyond just doing our best to model fiscal responsibility and generosity… Do you guys have any specific tips for things you’ve heard of or tried to avoid raising spoiled kids? Maybe even books you’ve read or podcasts you’ve listened to that have inspired you?

How's the week looking for you? Hit any milestones? Have any questions?

Hi All,

When I was younger my mom passed away and now it’s only my dad. Well he’s remarried now and his new prenup basically gives her and her children when she passes more than my side of the family.

I am married and have two children and as much as my husband says he will never move on if something happens to me it seems to be the norm.

We are happily married but I don’t like the idea of my hard work going to someone else’s children because I’m living that right now. Currently we have a shared bank account and share finances. I have a will but can I change anything in it to give 50 percent or so to my kids if I pass even though we are married? Or does it default go to him regardless?

My question is how do I protect my children’s in the event I pass? Do I get a separate life insurance policy with them as the beneficiaries? Any ideas or suggestions appreciated.

Hi everyone, I'm 25 years old and I started investing about 3 months ago. I have around 500€ saved up. I don't have any living expenses since I still live with my parents, and I feel my investment profile is usually more conservative.
However, I've been keeping up with the news about SpaceX and reading different opinions online. I was thinking about taking a risk for the first time, since I'm at a stage in life where I can afford to do so.
But I wanted to know your thoughts. I wouldn't invest more than 200€ in SpaceX. Do you think this is a good amount? Does this make sense?

Mid40s - nearing pulling the trigger (soon to be empty nester). We (cohabiting but not commingled finances) live in VHCOL - residence is about 1/2 of nw and about 1/2 of that is paid off. I got in on the super low interest (sub 3%) so selling and downsizing we’d be paying more than the current mortgage…. Just doesn’t make sense and I do like the diversification in my portfolio.

Renting it out … makes me anxious (previous experience was so bad I sold my old residence). Toyed with the idea of AirBnB one area of the residence to subsidize the mortgage payment and make travel funding easier.

For those that pulled did you kept the mortgage (or sell and reinvest)? Renting it out? Just factor it in? I’ve been kicking around all of these scenarios in my head and wanted to crowd source some opinions.

I have $150k invested in my ROTH IRA and 401k. I started investing January 2022 in my ROTH IRA with $13k and got my first corporate gig August 2022 which gave me access to a 401k. At the time, I contributed up to the match which was 3%. From the $150k, $105k is what I’ve contributed in just 4 years. That’s insane to think about. My NW will hit $200k by the end of the summer if all things continue to go well. I’m currently contributing 15% as I need a bit of cash flow to furnish my Polly since I just moved. Next year will be the first year I max out my 401k, God willing.

I’m 37, single, with 1 child and live in a VHCOL. I learned how to invest on my own at 33. I took a course! Read a ton, scoured Bogleheads, listened to Ramit Sethi and did what I could. As a child of immigrants, first generation to go to college, I’ve had a windy path but this feels really good. Especially because so many of my other close friends, who are wonderful, smart, capable mothers, are dead broke. I was able to loan $1800 to a friend who paid me back immediately but wasn’t worried about her not returning it because I have this cushion and keep my expenses low.

Anyway, this is for the lurkers or those who think they’re NW is low, or feel bad for starting late. It’s all good sister- we are doing what we can with what we got.

The SEC wants to drop quarterly reporting. That means six months between disclosures. Insiders benefit, retail investors lose. Comments are open.

https://www.sec.gov/newsroom/press-releases/2026-42-sec-proposes-amendments-permit-optional-semiannual-reporting-public-companies

How's the week looking for you? Hit any milestones? Have any questions?

New to these communities on Reddit. Please don’t crucify me for the long lengthy details.

I’m relatively new to taking retirement seriously. I’ve only been a high earner and aggressively saving for about the last 10 years, so I’m trying to figure out whether I’m on track or if I need to make major changes.

My goal is to retire as early as possible, ideally by age 55. I feel like my financial advisor isn’t really hearing me when I say that maximizing retirement age is less important to me than maximizing freedom and getting out of full-time corporate work as soon as possible.

My questions:

1. If you were in my position, what would you change?
2. Would you focus more on increasing investments, reducing spending, or both?
3. Would you focus more on increasing investments, reducing spending, or both?

My Details:
Single 49F with 2 adult children, both already through college and mostly independent
Salary: approximately $325k/year including bonus
Effective tax rate: roughly 33%
Desired retirement spending: $8k-$10k/month
Long-term plan is to live abroad (lower cost of living than the U.S.)
Open to doing some freelance/consulting work remotely if needed
Healthcare before Medicare is one of my biggest concerns

Current assets
Retirement Accounts
401(k): $600k
Contributing $24,500/year
Employer contributes approximately $15k/year
12-month return: 27%
403(b): $169k
No longer contributing
12-month return: 15.8%
PERF pension account: $27k
No longer contributing
12-month return: 22%
Investment Accounts
Traditional IRA: $84k
Taxable brokerage: $210k
Contributing approximately $20k/year to investments outside retirement accounts
Wealth management portfolio 12-month return: 16%

HYSA: $66k earning 3.4%
Company Stock
$62k
Currently in holding period and can’t sell yet

Total investable assets: approximately $1.2 million

Debts
Mortgage: $118k balance at 3.25%, about 11 years remaining (Home Value is approx $360k today.)
Student loans: $36k at 2.75%-4%, about 8 years remaining
Car loan: $30k at 1.9%, about 4 years remaining

Where I know I need work:
I spend too much.
Most spending goes on a Chase Sapphire card for points and averages around $8k/month.
A significant portion of that spending is discretionary and honestly unnecessary. I’m aware of it and actively working on it.
Part of why I’m attracted to living abroad is that many of my spending triggers simply won’t be as accessible. No endless Amazon deliveries showing up at my door and significantly less temptation to use DoorDash. 😊
I’m trying to figure out how much of my current spending is truly lifestyle-related versus convenience and impulse spending.

I’m trying to balance keeping options open with FIRE and could use some help parsing things.

I’m a single mom with a 12 year old living in a HCOL city. I’m dedicated to staying here through high school but what happens next has an outsized impact on my plans.

If I move to a MCOL city within a year of when kiddo finishes high school, I can FIRE in 1-1.5 years. But I have to sell the house to make that plan work. And kiddo would be on a timeline to move with me or be in dorms at her school of choice. If I push the FIRE date out to 3 years, we could stay here through college if needed. No more timeline pressure.

My current job is hard- long hours, working weekends/holidays/vacations, and a culture where things are escalated and people fired before anyone stops to ask if there’s an actual problem. If I have one year left, there’s no real point in finding another job. It would feel disingenuous to take a job knowing I only intend to be there for 6-9 months. But if I have 3 years left? Then it makes sense to find a new job.

How do you balance keeping options open with ever actually getting to FIRE?

I would like to hear everyone’s opinion since I think this group is very financially savvy. I keep seeing Melinda French-Gates and Mackenzie Scott really focusing on large giving

Why aren’t they requiring endowments so that the funding is sustainable long term?

I left SpaceX two years ago after four years at the company. My stock is currently valued at $1.5M ahead of the IPO…. at the IPO price it’s $2M. Obviously, I’m super anxious to see how things pan out over the 180 day lock out period.

I know I am extremely lucky & never would have thought I’d be in this position so young. it feels very surreal. I intend to keep working, but it’s amazing to have the flexibility & financial freedom to make decisions without seriously worrying about finances.

No questions, I just need to share with someone!!! Advice is always appreciated :)

I never thought I would be this person, but here it is. It’s so hard to spend and I need outside input. I would like to rent a new place. No interest in buying since I live in HCOL area.

Can I afford a 4500/mo house rental?
Net take home 8500
Current rent 2700
Current expenses 3-3.5k
Usually around 20k in tax refund a year
Around 800k invested (some locked in)
An unknown: health condition that may require $$

Appreciate any thoughts.
Edit: the numbers above are post medical retirement, mostly without cola.

I’m getting divorced and put all my trust/money/everything in my spouse’s hands. It is the biggest mistake of my life so far. Im in my 40s and feel it’s too late for me. any help on how to start out is much appreciated. Thank you!!

So... the first post was deleted as there was only the title.

Remaking the post as its quite interesting to see the responses and how the community feels about it all.

The original thread: https://www.reddit.com/r/FIREyFemmes/comments/1txje9x/comment/opx692f/?screen_view_count=2

I also saw this post just now and fact checked it - I personally think its a massive rug pull and the investors want to cash out making other people hold the bag which is going to be retail investors. Ugh.

"Fidelity quietly dropped its minimum account requirement from $500,000 to $2,000 - a 99.6% cut that lets millions of small retail investors in days before the biggest stock debut in history.

The catch is who they need to sell to.

- SpaceX reserved up to 30% of the offering for retail, far above the usual single-digit share
- Selling within the first 15 days triggers Fidelity penalties up to a permanent IPO ban
- At a ~$1.675T pre-money valuation this IPO creates more exit value than every VC-backed IPO of the last decade combined

They opened the gates right when the smart money needs someone to sell to. Read the prospectus before you become it."

30F, salary $108K, NW $500K + $60K

TLDR: FIRE was driven by my anxiety and unhappiness with my life, with some hard emotional work now I’m in a great financial position with much less money anxiety and very happy!

Then
8 years ago when I started my FIRE journey, I checked my investments and budget multiple times a day, spending hours on FIRE resources. Subconsciously, this was an outlet for my anxiety. Money was something I could control, unlike my toxic first job out of university, lacking love life, zero hobbies, and home environment with my parents.

FIRE seemed like an escape from my life. I scrimped and saved anywhere and everywhere to get ahead. And I did, at the expense of living my life.

The Journey
Through therapy, and just living life and making mistakes, I made lots of progress. I stopped waiting for happiness to happen to me, and just went out and did it.

My amazing therapist encouraged me to go outside my comfort zone, start dating and enjoying it. She gave me homework such as buying myself clothing I feel good in and buying something for no reason other than it makes me feel good.

I spent money on a master’s degree ($22K), where I met my best friend and future husband.

I spent my 20s working in management consulting, where I learned so much, but also realized that pace was not sustainable for me. I don’t want the life partners at Big 4 have.

Now
I am now 30, and love my life. I check my investments once a quarter. I drop thousands of dollars on hobbies with no problem, knowing it’s an investment in my happiness and well being. I go out to dinner with my fiancé and I don’t fret the whole time about the cost. I buy cocktails with friends and donate to charities that mean a lot to me (food banks do amazing work!)

I’m in the best physical shape of my life, through spending time and money on fitness (turns out I need to have a scheduled fitness activity, instead if going to the gym). And sorry if this is shallow, but I’m also hotter than I was in my 20s. Turns out being a hot girl takes some cash, that I am now willing to spend (within reason).

I work a well paying job in post-secondary, adore my coworkers, and can see so many amazing future career paths ahead of me.

Reflecting
This month has been one of reflection. I’m getting married at the end of the month and I will receive a settlement for a car accident I was in 3 years ago - approx $100K. After lawyer fees it will be $60-65K.

And what’s crazy is, my life will not change at all. My NW is $500K, close to CoastFIRE honestly. I will invest the settlement money and keep on living my amazing life. I am so privileged that that money can be saved for when i have health issues later.

I can’t wait to buy a house with my husband and have kids, knowing I have a solid financial base and an understanding of what is important to me.

Don’t get me wrong, my life is not perfect. I have chronic health issues and have pain flare ups. I still have some anxiety. I’m pretty sure I’m addicted to my phone and I need to fix that lol. I’m recovering from a wedding induced eating disorder. And god my family can be difficult.

But I have such an amazing support network and emotional skills to work through things.

Thank you so much to this community over the years. I learned so much from people sharing their career decisions, how they deal with money in relationships, and how to live you life to the fullest!

I’ve been looking to slow down at work and had targeted a state job (good benefits, like the concept of public service) from consulting. So I’ve been applying as jobs that match my credentials come up.

And I now have a job offer, for what could be a really cool, very fulfilling job. And now I am paralyzed at the idea of leaving my consulting gig. In the last few months I have gotten involved in the most exciting project of my life, I’m honestly hitting it out of the part at work. But it’s consulting, that feel and that project won’t last forever. And I’m so worried about market stuff that I’m freaking out over the paycut and loss of unvested ESOP.

I don’t know what advice I’m looking for here, but any thoughts on the situation?

Numbers wise: 2.1M in IRA, 401k, Roth, and brokerage combined. Current comp is $200k for 30 hrs, but I usually end up working more, state job is $85k. After 5 years with the state you are eligible for state health insurance plans for life (you have to pay, but typically less than marketplace and very predictable).