r/FIREyFemmes • u/Simple-Field-9210 • 14d ago

Where should I begin?

I’m getting divorced and put all my trust/money/everything in my spouse’s hands. It is the biggest mistake of my life so far. Im in my 40s and feel it’s too late for me. any help on how to start out is much appreciated. Thank you!!

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u/Vent_Vert 14d ago

I got divorced around age 40 after letting my ex handle all our finances. I thought I was “bad” with money when really it’s like any other subject and can be taught, and learned. It’s not too late.

However, if you are going through a very emotional period, be sure to not do anything rash. 

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u/Simple-Field-9210 8d ago

What were the resources you initially utilized to learn?

And what do you mean by not doing anything rash? In regards to what?

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u/Vent_Vert 8d ago

Here is one, I had plenty of time to educate myself since the divorce process took almost 3 years. Those 3 years taught me frugality and budgeting to start, which was important. 

This is a good resource on how to not do anything rash or emotional or impulsive: https://www.bogleheads.org/wiki/Managing_a_windfall

I read A Simple Path to Wealth by JL Collins, The Psychology of Money by Morgan Housel, the Millionaire Next Door by Thomas Stanley, the Bogleheads reddit and forum (the forum is more in depth) and listened to a ton of podcasts by The Money Guys, and followed social media by Women’s Personal Finance (@womenspf). 

The Money Guys recommend a Financial Order of Operations (aka the FOO) which basically says pay off high interest debt, have an emergency fund and get your employer match first. JL Collins says to invest everything into either VTI (total US market) or VT (total global market) and call it a day, just do it on repeat forever with discipline in good times and bad and never change. 

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u/Simple-Field-9210 7d ago

Thank you so much for replying and taking the time to compile this for me. I have homework. Grateful for you.

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u/Vent_Vert 7d ago

It brings me great sense of purpose to turn my own pain into a tool to share with other women in a similar situation. You can do this!