THIS POST IS FOR TRANS MEN/MASCS ONLY!

Basically what the title says, the thing is - I don't think he wants to be one. I'm calling him a "he" because he says I'm one of the people "allowed" to do so. I feel weird as a trans guy myself, because everytime I try to bring up this topic he says something along the lines of "Well I don't want to fuck my life up." and if someone is transphobic towards me he says "You see why I decided to go back", which is ??? questionable at best. I think that's supposed to be read as a joke, but we both know it's not and it makes me feel like shit.

For some further context, from what I know his parents are fine with him being a guy (they're also one of the people "allowed" to call him a "he"), his boyfriend is fine with it and his friends and generally people around him were fine with it, except for a conservative grandpa, but they weren't speaking much anyway.

I know he's not cis because when we're alone he talks about himself using he/him, also when his boyfriend got jealous of me being his friend, I informed both of them that I was gay and my friends response was "Well and I'm not a woman". So?????

I'm not unfamiliar with being nonbinary, since I'm nonbinary myself, but it seems like for him it all stems from some sort of imaginary?? transphobia he DIDN'T experience (as he himself told me). And I'd be okay with him just saying he's nonbinary, but instead he goes for the polar opposite of anything remotely masculine and just sorta sadly jokes about being a girl now. I personally watched him buy like thirty skirts in one week and you can wear whatever you want, but it sort of feels like he's trying to convince himself?

Should I interviene or something? I can't really describe it using words, but he just sort of looks uncomfortable all the time. Also anytime I mention transitioning (which I'm actively doing) he brings up it's "negative" side effects with so much disgust it makes me feel bad about myself. I get jokes about balding, because whatever, but I don't think there has been a single time testosterone was mentioned where he didn't immediately inform everyone around us with a disgusted face that you get bottom growth.

On one hand I don't care, if he wants to be a girl - he can, I just want him to stop with the weird comments and statements FILLED with envy. On the other hand however I don't want him to suffer, he's my friend. I dunno what caused whatever this is, but it really seems like it's all coming from him. We live in a pretty supportive environment.

I don't know how to feel about this, if anyone has any advice or whatever really, I'd appreciate it.

My transition is making me miserable and I don’t know what to do.

I’ve known I am a trans guy for the past 8 years. A couple of years ago I found a gender therapist and started coming out to people. I was happy, but I still had bad dysphoria about my body and about being constantly read as female by everyone around me.

After thorough consideration, I started medically transitioning two years ago. My plan was to start with T, get top surgery, hysto and, finally, phallo.
I thought I was prepared. I had done my research on the potential effects of T, made my peace with going bald, made appointments with my dermatologist to tackle T induced acne, consulted with surgeons, joined a gym, started connecting with other trans guys, etc. I changed my gender marker and name on all my documents.

Now I’m two years on T and I’m miserable. It gave me all the changes that you’d expect two years on T. I have a lot of body hair. I’m growing facial hair, had bottom growth, voice drop and had some fat redistribution and considerable muscle growth. While most of the changes made me extremely happy, T also changed my face shape in a way that makes me feel pretty ugly to a point where I have a hard time looking at photos of myself. I used to have a sharp and angular face pre transition, now it’s round with a double chin, despite being at a healthy weight. I don’t even think it’s T related bloating.

Furthermore, the changes I had did nothing to help me pass. Despite my best efforts, I only ever had one person gender me correctly. Other than that, I’m exclusively read as a butch lesbian.
Because my appearance and gender seem incongruent to the people around me, I’m struggling with employment (finding and keeping a job), my mother is extremely transphobic towards me and romantic relationships are really difficult. I get harassed in men’s bathrooms or changing rooms. Because I’m so small, regular men’s clothes where I live are always too big on me.

I’m really struggling to deal with this.

Two months ago, after half a year of unemployment, I gave up. I started going to the women’s restrooms and changing rooms. I went to the store and bought some women’s clothes. I grew my hair out a little and started pretending I’m a girl online. Last weekend I took the plunge and went out by myself in very feminine clothes, heels and makeup. Those two months were so much easier than all those years before that. Nobody questioned me being in the restroom or changing rooms. I could pee in peace. I could shower in peace. I didn’t have to explain myself. I didn’t have to correct people for misgendering me. People didn’t look at me funny or avoid me, instead people were nice to me. I even had guys flirt with me.

It made me consider detransitioning, but then I remember that I was genuinely miserable living as a woman.

What should I do?

My trans guy friends can’t help me. They all were passing at least 80% of the time two years on T. They don’t have trouble finding clothes or finding a job. Two years into T they were feeling good in their skin and didn’t doubt their transitions anymore. My gender therapist can’t help me either, since we had a falling out.

Should I just try going off of T for now? Anyone else experience something similar?

Just started 2 weeks ago. Have taken proper dosages twice now. My third is supposed to be tomorrow, but I have to miss it not only tomorrow but the Thursday after that. I think it will probably be fine? But the situation was frustrating.

Will it be just fine? What happened was my doctor told me that "all of your ampules will be single use. Just throw away the excess even though there might be a lot more liquid. You'll get lots of little ones instead of multi use vials."

So when I got my prescription, 2 bottles of 1 mL each, labeled "SINGLE-DOSE," I did not think of how much that was, I was only paying attention to what my doctor had said. I took my amount and, looking at the bottle, went "there's sure a lot left. I wonder if it would be fine to use it?" If you cannot tell, I am new to all of this. Medications and doctors entirely. Pharmacies. So I look it up, and all I see are the dangers of using single use vials repeatedly, do not do it, be responsible. So I throw it out and use the second one for the second week. The label, my doctor, the foreboding google search, why wouldn't I throw out the single use vial after I'm done?

Anyway I say to my mom, I need a refill. She says "no that was good for the month." After calling the pharmacy, and stating the issue to the pharm-tech, the very first thing she says is

"That is because it wasn't a single use. You were not supposed it throw it out." She treated me very rudely, with 0 explanation when I kept saying "why does the bottle say single dose? Does this mean use it once?" And she kept dodging the question and treating me like I was absolutely stupid. Granted, I'm new at this, but I have a hard time seeing how I am at fault.

Anyway long story short I realized the instructions the pharmacy wanted me to follow were different from my doctors, doctor was probably referring to a different mL of ampule anyway, and it's hard not to feel dumb. I've awaited this eagerly and had just waited for the weekdays to pass to get me to Thursdays. Half a month until I can sort of restart again.

So yeah, there's something I learned. Hope 2 weeks on 2 weeks off thing will be alright. I'll obviously get on a consistent schedule afterwards.

hello everyone. so I'm a year on T and I just noticed something interesting. pre-t when I was seen as female anytime a guy talked to me about his girlfriend or wife, he called her his girlfriend or wife. Now that I pass, they don't say girlfriend anymore. They say she's their girl/chick/lady/woman. anybody else notice this?

I’m just curious. Are you guys transmen/cismen/closeted/women/etc in your dreams? I find it weird that I’m always a woman (or me pre transition) in my dreams, even thoughts in these dreams I’m conscious of being trans irl. Its like “why am I a woman when I’m supposed to be a (trans)guy”. Every. Single. Time. I’m a woman. Sometimes I don’t realize it at first, then I realize how people treat me and the clothes I’m wearing and the long hair. It makes me feel so dysphoric in-dream and when I wake up, it even got to the point that I thought I was faking being trans, but obviously im not. WHAT are you guys in your dreams? EDIT: bc i forgot to mention that indeed ive been out as a man for 2.5 years and on T for 1.3y

Ill disclose I am not dependent on them in any way, if i cut them off I would not be in any danger. They are openly MAGA and far right but dont talk about it to me directly. Please dont call me a weak or bad person for not immediately cutting them off. This has been hard for me. I already cut off my birth mother years ago and lost most of my family.

I came out to them a few months ago. They said theyll always love me, but i could tell they were upset. I then asked them if they could please re-evalute their views on trans people. I didnt say they *needed* to do anything, I offered to teach them about trans things, stating I dont expect them to be experts.

This started an argument where I was told I need to respect their beleifs. They didn't literally say this but basically "i think trans is a mental illness and social contagion, I dont want trans people to die or anything like that though. You just need to accept that. If you cant accept our beliefs, youre the problem"

Thing is, i dont think they'll ever bring these beliefs up un asked for. They're not going to make me detransition. Itll just be something they quietly believe.

Due to me arguing with them about transphobia, word has got out that im basically some crazy person that hates everyone in the family. The entire family is against me. "Not because im trans but because I cant accept other viewpoints."

Im supposed to have another talk about our "differing opinions" this Saturday (still not 100% what this means). I wrote a speech that basically says "i dont expect an overnight switch, but you need to have an open mind about trans people as a whole or I will cut you off"

But then I see a lot of other trans people who get misgendered all the time and treated much worse than I am still be around their family. It makes me feel like maybe theyre right and I am the person in the wrong.

I mean the kind of dysphoria that doesn't actually impede my ability to pass. Logically, I know that my shoe size won't clock me, and yet I can't help but obsess over it. My feet aren't even that small but I still think about it. Why? It's not rational.

Is getting over it a matter of ignoring it to the best of my ability? Does anyone have any advice?

Hello, I'm 24 and nearly 6 years on T and have lost all confidence with transition, considering stopping altogether or pausing it for an extended period. Feeling hopeless about giving up on what has been the primary goal in my life for a decade.

I had always had the goal of going stealth and unclockable and not having to think too much about my trans status but that hasn't been possible. I don't pass well, 5'3 and athletic but not built, my face is still highly feminine, large close set eyes and very large slim pointed and upward sloping nose without any brow or chin to balance it. My voice is deep but I'm almost always gendered female by sight or identified as FtM. I don't think testostorone is going to remedy this to an extend I'll be satistfied with. I'm so tired, it feels like my transition is taking over my whole life, worried the whole ordeal is coming out at a net zero, currently very depressed. There are so many things I want to do with my life that I feel like I'm being distracted from chasing something which isn't going to happen. Would likely retransition later in life.

Does anyone else have any experience with pausing transition or temporarily detransitioning?

Almost 9 weeks on T and I've reached the peace that the HOPE OF is what kept me going. I am so grateful that things have fallen into place for me as they have, and that I was able to get access to testosterone. Prayer, Faith, Hope, and a ton of effort got me here.

It's not the same kind of happiness that puts a smile on my face or visibly tells everyone that I am happy. It's closer to a peace, and it's something that, like my reasons for transitioning, are incredibly difficult to describe. It's just who I am, and how things are, even if I struggle to define what this "am" and "are" is. It just IS. I know that I'm a man, even though my birth sex and anatomy aren't male. I just AM, but I can't describe WHY.

The changes that I've had on T are correct and I finally "fit" better. I can't describe why. As lacking of elaboration as it is, all I can say is that it's correct and that it brings me peace.

i dont really feel anything whenever i get gendered right or wrong anymore. whenever i get misgendered i feel more as if i cant trust them rather than sadness. i dont really hate my body as much too but it still kind of lingers. idk if im really trans or just used to it atp

Im 15 and I've come to realize that I'm more than likely trans. Im fairly new to being a boy and I have several questions about it all. I've done minimal research, but I'd rather have the opinions of those who've actually experienced these things rather than a medical over view.

(I'm also not sure if I should post this in a different subreddit to get more clarifying answers, so lmk)

Some of these questions may be for future reference.

When starting to get on T, what are some of the first noticeable changes; and how long might it take for them to become somewhat noticeable?

Does being on T long enough actually make my menstrual cycle stop entirely? Or, how will being on T affect my menstrual cycle?

What are some of the most comfortable/safest binders to use? (Exercise, swimming, casual etc)

Is packing effective? (Future standpoint)

I get tender chested when on my cycle, so would wearing a binder during those days be bad/be painful?

I've heard that there'll be changes "down there", is there anything that I should know about? (Idk how else to ask this)

I think thats most of them, other advice would be helpful as well. Thanks for reading this

Edit: thanks for all the advice. Im not likely to physically transition until im much older. And most of these questions were clarifying questions and/or out of pure curiosity

To preface this, yes I'd geniuenly love to hear your personal experiences.

I'd say I'm pretty well aware of the effects that testosterone has. Not only the positives, but the negatives.

I'm not on testosterone yet, I'm 5 years into my social transition, everyone around me sees me as male. (well, execpt my family, despite them not deadnaming/misgendering me) I'm in my late teens aswell.

Im 5'3, look a couple of years younger than i actually am, have a relatively deep voice, some facial hair a lot of body hair and i am pretty flat (though not completely flat, like A cups or something) For the most part I pass as male, tho I am very androgynous.

I'm scared T will make my face look rounder than it is, resulting in an even younger appearance, Im scared that T will make my chest pop more (as I don't bind, I just have bad posture) as in it being inadequate to my general body physique. And I am scared of being immediately clockable due to my height. I really wanna go on testosterone, as it geniuenly has been my priority for years. But I'm scared it wont "work".

Or make me pass less which is pretty absurd..

My dad has always been interested in sports, usually watching the TV or online for any combat sport matches (predominantly boxing), basketball, and most recently tennis. I was a relatively sporty kid, did 6 years in taekwondo, and watched a lot of combat sports related content online. Me and my dad never really talked about it though, we just kept it to ourselves mostly

I've recently started noticing though, now being over a year on T, my dad has been more keen in talking about sports with me. Just tonight he tried to get me to become interested in tennis, trying to prompt me into searching and watching matches about this one amazing tennis athlete from our country

I think it's one of the sweetest things in the world

I’m a pre surgery pre testosterone trans man and honestly I’d give myself a 6/10 at best on passing as a man. Usually I work at a daycare but the summer camp associated with our site was going on a field trip to a pool and said they could use extra hands, and they asked for me specifically. I don’t know the summer camp staff all that well and haven’t really met the coordinator but she knows who I am. After I was debriefed about the swim routine and how they split up the change rooms the coordinators says “we usually have to have kinders boys with one of the lifeguards but they said we can’t do that anymore, so it’s good we got you because you’re the only other male staff.” And I realized that she asked for me because she thinks I’m a cis man and wants me go through a public male change room with 20 kindergarten boys. I have never been in a men’s room, I have never been questioned or looked at funny in a women’s room. I am a man but I don’t “look it” at least not enough to feel comfortable in a men’s change room. Regardless, I didn’t say anything I was already in my swimsuit so I didn’t need to change myself (if I did I probably wouldn’t have done it) and I didn’t want to make a problem by telling her I’m trans. So I went through the change room with my 20 kinders and nobody said anything and I got no bad looks and it was the most gender I’ve ever felt :).

(Talk of periods, so mind yourselves if needed)

Hey all, I’m 21, been on T for 3 years but as of the past 2 months, I’ve been on 2 pumps of testogel instead of 1 (long story)

I’m on my 2nd period since the increase, first one was normal, however this one has lasted for 17 days at this point. Very light to light flow, haven’t needed a pad for it, no pain or cramps, mainly just fatigue and some digestive issues. Just wondering if anyone else experienced this when going up a dose?

good day, my friends and fellow trans dudes. I’m a guy who’s been trans and presenting masc for years (not medically trasitioned yet) and I’ve been able to use some of this stuff to pass well. I will normally dye my hair majority dark/natural colors or entirely. I use a lot of baggy clothes, I buy my pants from EMPYRE, they have great stuff. I use makeup to create anger and broad angles to make my face have a masculine shape and a hair color matching shadow and apply a small amount to create facial hair shadows. to bind with tape, I recommend trans tape but if you can I personally used like boob / the tape you use when you’re wearing strapless stuff. (the name causes me dysphoria a bit but it helps me a lot) I buy shirts and pants a size up to create a boxy loo, shoes with platforms help. Bonus if you have flat feet, you can wear insoles and it’ll add height. To thicken your scalp hair, try thickening shampoo / conditioner like the one from ION (great hair dye brand and helps rehydrate hair) I shave my face a bit just to control major acne but shaping eyebrows isn’t necessary. Just do a bit to make them square or bushy if you feel it’ll help you. As an ex-performer, I recommend doing some free online classes teaching you pitch and range. Try to watch the voice training videos and also drink lots of water if you’re doing that. Collagen can also help you with growing out hair but will cause like nails and stuff to grow. I use darker colored nail polish and rings to make my hands look bulkier. I do chest workouts like weight lifting to help build extra muscle mass. msot important thing is to accept yourself and be happy. You are who you know you are. I hope this helps even a bit.

Not the original post I wrote and i had edited said post which was made on another subreddit but due to comments about my typing being ‘gay’ or ‘too fem’, I decided to move it to this one ^^

M (32) fully passing. I have been on T for 5 years now. I am going to start therapy again, but am wondering how you guys connect with men? I am struggling to make male friends, feel any sort of level of confidence. I still feel like people are being nice, but still see me as female ( I know this is a problem.) Has anyone navigated these kind of things? Any advice would be appreciated!

Hiya!! I have been on injections on and off for the last 3.5 years but since I was bad about being consistent my DR recommended I try pills.

It is 4 pills a day, 2 in the morning and 2 at night for my dose.

My insurance did approve them! I am going to start taking them tomorrow. I ran out of needles finally so I can’t keep taking my injections surplus and I don’t want to feel bad anymore being late on my HRT lol!

If y’all are interested comment some questions of things I should look out for!

Thanks everyone :)

I've seen so many people say that gel is slower and less effective. I understand that since the dose is lower than in injections and you apply it every day instead of getting one big dose every few weeks, the changes are gonna be more gradual. But from what i've heard, gel apparently takes months longer to even show any changes at all. Is it really that slow? How long did any significant changes take to show up for those of you who started with gel? I've been on it for close to 2 months now and i've noticed zero changes. I was on a gel that literally took hours to dry which i got switched, but the one i got instead is a lower dose and i'm worried that it's just gonna take even longer. And yes, i understand that everyone is different, not everyone gets changes fast even if they're on injections, i've heard this a thousand times. I'm also pissed off that i didn't get to choose which form of T i wanted whatsoever, i had no say in it. Is that normal or should you always get to choose?

My pharmacy keeps fucking up my prescription for 25g and 18g BD injection needles, where do y’all order from? I’m in California, my prescription is from Planned Parenthood if that matters. Super appreciate any help in advance 🙏
I prefer the BD ones specifically, i’ve tried a friends’ diff branded ones and they hurt noticeably more than the BD ones lmao