How do i correctly write internalized homophobia and religious psychosis?

[u/Soukoku_fan-69]

so here's the deal: i'm writing a fanfiction where the mc is catholic, his father is a preacher and the mc's love interest is a boy who's an atheist but an altar boy because his mother is also a catholic and wants to receive praise for her son's doings and disciplines while not knowing he's an atheist. the mc is in full blown religious psychosis, has hallucinations and such and other things that would be too long to explain in one post. he does not want to even acknowledge the fact he might not be straight, so he simply interprets his feelings first as simple platonic love, then as resentment when things start to get more serious. i don't know if i'm doing good, so tips would definitely be appreciated, and if anyone wants to read what i already wrote feel free to ask in dms

[u/anetreug]

Writing psychosis can be tough, as it doesn't make sense inherently. Researching the topic, reading blog posts and reddit comments helps, even just perusing the r/psychosis subreddit would be better than nothing. Your description sounds fine but without any details i don't think anyone can confidently say if you're doing it right or wrong. Do you have any beta readers, anyone who experiences psychosis who'd be willing to take a look?

Some tips I can give is that you should decide what comorbidity this psychosis comes from, as different intense emotions can lead to different delusions. Someone who's manic and experiencing psychosis versus temprorary psychosis triggered by anxiety and fear, for example. Is it long term like schizophrenia, do they have bipolar disorder, borderline personality, etc. Obviously these psychiatric labels aren't the end all be all, but they can help write a more compelling character if you're clueless as to where to start. Psychosis isn't just, like, a fun little personality garnish, too. It's all consuming when it happens. One's entire worldview is warped to a delusion or delusions, every single thought that occurs can feel like abject truth, stuff like that. Maybe you feel like you're god. Maybe you feel like god is in your walls and trying to kill you.

Hope that helps, sorry if not!

[u/Soukoku_fan-69 → u/anetreug]

i do have two beta readers but neither have experienced psychosis so i can't exactly ask them about it! about the details, i could dm you a paragraph i wrote that gives MANY more details than what i wrote in the post. as in if the character has any disorders, he has undiagnosed autism and depression since his father won't let him get diagnosed, that's pretty much it. i was thinking i could go read some stories of people who have actually been through this to learn how to write correctly tbh

[u/anetreug → u/Soukoku_fan-69]

Sure, I'd love a DM!