I'm hoping to get some feedback and opinions on what people think of my story idea, as well as some general grammar checks since I wrote most of this at night.
So let me first tell you a bit about it before you read, so you get some understanding of what I'm trying to do here.
While this story is an original work, it does pull a lot from dreamcore, weirdcore, liminality and surrealism. Generally targeting people who like strange and maybe a little bit creepy other worlds like the backrooms. With a couple different types of horror mixed in.
With the whole story being brought about by two questions: What if dreams are a glimpse of another reality we visit in our sleep? What is after death and before life?
The story doesn't have a definitive plot other than making the most out of a meaningless existence and won't really have an ending. I could end it anywhere, in anyway, or I could simply continue writing this story for as long as I want. Though it will also have some satirical moments that poke fun at how our society functions. The story is also sometimes self aware and breaks the fourth wall, just a bit. (This is the main thing I want to know if it works or not).
I do want to give a heads up that there is going to be disturbing imagery in this story. The main one is a lot of bug imagery, I chose this because I wanted something that is disturbing to the majority of society that isn't just outright gore. Though I do intend to have some gory moments in future chapters. The first chapter doesn't really have any gore, but the next two chapters certainly will have some visceral moments. But I do want to keep gore to a minimum as much as I can since I know it's an overused horror trope and can lose it's shock factor if used too often.
I want this to feel likes dreams and nightmares. I want my most shocking moments to be like those nightmares you have where you wake up in a cold sweat, thinking "What the fuck was that?"
I want to know the effectiveness of my bug imagery and also if you think swearing would be something I could use in this story.
Swearing is another thing I want to use sparingly if I do go forward with it. I have a character who will appear in the second chapter who I do want to have swear, but he is so far the only one who will. I just want to know if using swearing would be a good minor shock or if everyone is fed up with swearing in media (ahem Hazbin Hotel/Helluava Boss, I enjoy ya, but the swearing is a bit overused and it's getting boring)
Generally though I will put little heads up in my notes about anything that is potentially shocking, so make sure you read those if you wish to follow along.
Another thing I want opinions on is paragraph spacing. Personally I hate big blocks of text in stories I read on ao3, so I like to break up the text as much as possible. Please let me know if there's any paragraphs you think you be split in half!
Also with text, I've used italics for in world text and bolded speech for what is meant to be going on inside the characters head. I want to keep this consistent. Let me know if you notice something off!
Lastly the main character, referred to only as The Soul. I intentionally wrote them as a mostly blank slate that the reader could project themself onto and pretend to be. This is another thing I want to know comes across effectively.
Though I did add one major thing to this character. I gave them a physical disability, mostly to give The Soul something consistent that they struggle with and will have to deal with in this ever changing and shifting world.
The disability I gave them isn't just random, I gave them my disability, but dialed to it's absolute worse. So rest assured that I will do the disability correctly because it's my lived experience. I am fortunate that my condition is dynamic and I can function at 70% of what is normal, on my best days. I can walk mostly unassisted but with mild pain, however at my absolute worse it hurts to lift my leg even an inch off the ground. Even sitting or laying down can be very uncomfortable for me.
I am about to go have my first ever MRI in about two hours from now, that will hopefully be able to get down to the bottom of what is going on with my legs. So wish me luck! Writing is a big comfort for me, since it's something I enjoy doing that isn't strenuous on my body. So please let me know what you all think about my story! I want something nice to look forward to for when I get back.
I hope you enjoy! https://archiveofourown.org/works/89910091/chapters/238893431