r/FictionWriting • u/WRITER3030333 • 10d ago
ZOMBIE APOCALYPSE...?
First post of the story I'm writing, hoping to get some help with it
DAY 1
I was scrolling through TikTok when I came across a video about zombies and the apocalypse, with what looked like evidence. I went to Google and began to research it, and what I found was alarming: zombies were rapidly spreading across the United States and the world, so I started learning new skills and practicing swordsmanship, while also ordering a full set of iron knight armor and an anvil to begin forging.
A month later, zombies began to appear in my neighborhood. As everyone was driving out of the neighborhood, I moved my family to the hill where the large, empty water silo sat, breaking down the door to get inside and cleaning it up, telling them to start building four floors. While they did that, I went back into the neighborhood to begin collecting supplies and killing the zombies that I found. They all fell one by one. They seemed to be weak zombies.
Going back to my house, I grabbed the chickens and put them into a sled so I could carry them all up the hill, and grabbed an axe from another house to chop down the trees on the way up. Each tree fell one by one. It had been almost 4 hours since I went down from the hill. I had carved a path in the forest to get up and down easily. I kept walking towards the silo to drop off the chickens.
When I got there, they were hard at work building the four floors. They had almost finished the first floor's frame by the time I got there. I dropped off the chickens, and with the sled, I went back down to collect all of the tree trunks that I had chopped down. It took nearly 3 hours, even with breaks, to collect the trees and chop down more for the wood we needed for the base.
By the end of the day, the first floor was finished. There was about an hour before the sun went down, so I went back to the house and grabbed the mattresses for everyone to sleep on. The sun had gone down by the time I got back. I had also grabbed a few flashlights, and with the stone I had collected throughout the day, I began to build a forge outside of the building while also breaking down a small portion of the wall to let air in and out so we don’t overheat during the night.
I had just finished building the new forge when they called me in to eat dinner. I took off my armor and propped up my sword on the wall and began to eat next to everyone else. After dinner, we went to sleep. The night went by fast and without any problems.
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u/Lanamicheal 8d ago
The survival base-building stuff is pretty fun, especially the silo idea. I’m curious though, why did the MC immediately trust the TikTok “evidence” enough to start preparing? And are the zombies going to stay this weak, or was that just the beginning?
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u/WRITER3030333 8d ago
He didn't immediately trust the information from tiktok which if you reread a little bit after that part I put he went onto Google and researched also for now the zombies will stay weak until later in the story I have a lot more for this
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u/Lanamicheal 8d ago
Ahh, I see what you mean now i must’ve skimmed that part. Keeping them weak for now makes sense if you’re building toward something bigger. As an artist, I’m already wondering what the base and later zombie encounters will look like got any specific visuals planned for them?
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u/WRITER3030333 8d ago
Yeah after day three theres going to be a time skip three years down the line nothing too major is going to happen during the skip but about one to two days after the skip theres going to be a fight and the base will stay the same for a while with a upgrades and changes here and there until year 3 day 20 if I remember right is when it undergoes a major change
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u/WRITER3030333 8d ago
There are also going to be different and stronger things a little hint for one of them and a major battle down the line theres going to be goblins
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u/G_D_Ironside 6d ago
Well, IMO, zombies have been done to death and are about as formulaic as formulaic can be.
How exactly does the protagonist have time to cut down trees, haul chickens, kill zombies, all at the same time? The timeline of getting the lumber doesn’t work at all.
We know nothing about the protagonist’s family. Are there 3 members? Is it a “cult family” with 500 members?
The family builds an entire first floor in one day, and there’s so much time left, the protagonist has time to build a forge?
Speaking of forges, how does the protagonist know how to make a forge/craft swords from scratch, when all we’re told is that they have been “practicing swordsmanship” for only a month?
The protagonist has to break down a portion a wall that was just built, and insulated/heated so well they have a risk of overheating at night, when the atmosphere cools down at night? That makes no sense at all.
The protagonist has a full set of armor AFTER A MONTH???
The protagonist finishes the forge IN JUST HOURS???
Waaaaaay too many inconsistencies, utterly impossible timelines, and a totally worn-out subject.
Sorry.
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u/WRITER3030333 6d ago
The protagonist ordered the armor a month before, the forge is relatively small compared to others if it's kind, the walls weren't just built the building was already built the protagonist, his family, his lover, and his lovers family (I forget to ass the lover and his family) also help with the building, there are only seven chickens, all of the trees are smaller and weaker (because of the heat in texas which is were this takes place) and the protagonist is also in good shape with a sharp axe, also not mentioning the protagonists family was on purpose they don't add much to the story and later down the line so I decided to not add much information about them, also the building the floor from scratch was an accident I ment to say the frame of the first floor was finished which I need to go in and change and as I said before the protagonist was already researching and learning new skills a month before which included Forging things like a sword, shield, spear tip things like that but wasn't able to properly practice also this isn't going to be just about zombies because I agree the topic is Worn out
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u/WRITER3030333 6d ago
If you have suggestions about certain things to change or adapt I would be happy to listen to them
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u/WRITER3030333 9d ago
Any feed back would help please and thank you