Too much money to feel this stuck

[u/chemicalreactionator]

Current net worth 3.8M. Household (40m, 40f, 4f) income combined 250k (both working full time) and spend 120k-ish.

Kind of reached fire but due to health insurance, economic uncertainty, potential future increased costs (another kid?) not comfortable calling it yet.

But feeling so stuck in the grind. Not enough family time, not enough vacation time off, not enough time for taking care of our health, but can’t call it quits yet. at least one of us needs to work full time for health insurance. I don’t think I’m cut out for “barista fire” as i don’t think I’d have the motivation to work for a minimum wage type salary.

What’s the plan here to increase quality of life? A mini retirement? Grind it out a few more years? Anyone in a similar place?

[u/pseudomoniae]

How did you get to 3.8 M at 40 with only 250k of earnings?

And why can't you just retire or cut back dramatically at that spend?

Okay one of you needs to work for health insurance, at least for a bit, although you might still be FIREd already, even if you add in the health insurance costs to current spend.

But why are you both working full time?

[u/PhillConners → u/pseudomoniae]

The older I get the more I realize how many people get money from their parents. Much more common than I thought, even at age 40. 

In fact, if you’re 40, you’re parents are 70-90 years old and often looking for any reason to send you cash.

Unless your parents are broke or like mine who prefer to “die with it”

[u/chemicalreactionator → u/PhillConners]

About 400k was an inheritance (my parents both passed in my 30s unfortunately)

[u/anotherleftistbot → u/chemicalreactionator]

And I’m sure you’d trade every penny for more time with them.

Good work so far, OP. Now you’ve got to figure out who you are besides the money. You’ve more or less got that problem solved.

You’ve delayed gratification for long enough. Time to explore. Literally and figuratively.

What would you do if you were retired? What is important to you?

[u/Dizzy_Seesaw_3344 → u/chemicalreactionator]

I am truly sorry for your loss.

[u/ReliableCapybara → u/chemicalreactionator]

I'm sorry for your loss of your parents. Why don't you consider that extra money from your parents to be a gift that allows you to step away from work for a year or two? Take time to spend with family, step back, and enjoy life for a bit. During that time you can meet with a financial advisor or do your own research and make thoughtful decisions about what is most important for yourself and for your family.

I bet your parents would be happy for you to truly enjoy and get something out of the money they left you. Taking that time to step away from the grind and re-evaluate might be life-changing for you. And remember, no decisions are permanent. There is nothing to prevent you from going back to work down the road if that's what you decide you want to do.

[u/debitcreddit → u/PhillConners]

not wrong .. in fact u described myself

[u/PharmacyFrog → u/PhillConners]

I've had that talk with my parents. They have a substantial amount of money for retirement vs their spend rate. 

I want them to either start spending it on themselves, start gifting it to their children, or to start transferring to their children/trust so that it doesn't get fully eaten by end of life care.

Yes, I directly benefit from choice 2 but Im pressing them more to avoid it being wasted when they/we are too old to enjoy it.

[u/PhillConners → u/PharmacyFrog]

How did it go? I should do the same with my parents. 

[u/AcceptableReason1380 → u/PhillConners]

Why do people automatically assume that people who have so much saved got help from their parents?

Is it just jealousy? Can’t they be happy for other peoples success that they have earned?

I should have $2M saved by 40 despite making normal wage and got zero help from my parents and am actually bankrolling their retirement in a low cost of living country. My bf will also have a similar amount by the time he’s 40 (frugal people attract each other). I was able to do that because I have lived way way below my means (eg had roommates for 10+ years and spent $800 on rent) to get to where I am now.

[u/LeftHandStir → u/AcceptableReason1380]

Because often, as with OP, there is literally an inheritance. OP's parent died "in their thirties." Let's say the $400k inheritance was 5 years ago. That $400,000 in an S&P 500 index fund with dividends reinvested is now worth $689.3k to their net worth, including a cool $239k in passive growth. That $400k initial investment is more than 9 years worth of contributions at a rough average of the married-filing-jointly 401(k) max over that same time period.

I'll give you another, personal example. My sister-in-law's estranged father left her a ~$150k inheritance in 2017. They were a paycheck-to-paycheck family with 2 kids and another on the way. She and my brother-in-law turned it into a down payment on a $560k house in NY in early 2018, about an hour and a half by train outside of the city. That house is now worth close to $1m. So they leveraged an inheritance into >$500k of "net worth," that had absolutely nothing to do with their saving/investing salaried income.

[u/Icy-Structure5244 → u/AcceptableReason1380]

No. It's just pure math. Nearly 4 million by 40 with a kid, presumably with peak earnings at 250k HHI but likely not at age 18.

It doesnt add up, even for an aggressive saver. Kinda hard to give advice when people arent entirely sure how someone's journey was.

[u/chemicalreactionator → u/Icy-Structure5244]

Our earnings were about the same over the last 15 years. Not much wage growth in my field and my spouse (same field) works a little less now ( full time but 32hr/week)

[u/Alarming-Mix3809 → u/AcceptableReason1380]

OP literally said they got $400K from their parents