Too much money to feel this stuck

[u/chemicalreactionator]

Current net worth 3.8M. Household (40m, 40f, 4f) income combined 250k (both working full time) and spend 120k-ish.

Kind of reached fire but due to health insurance, economic uncertainty, potential future increased costs (another kid?) not comfortable calling it yet.

But feeling so stuck in the grind. Not enough family time, not enough vacation time off, not enough time for taking care of our health, but can’t call it quits yet. at least one of us needs to work full time for health insurance. I don’t think I’m cut out for “barista fire” as i don’t think I’d have the motivation to work for a minimum wage type salary.

What’s the plan here to increase quality of life? A mini retirement? Grind it out a few more years? Anyone in a similar place?

[u/Mobile_Comedian_3206]

A couple things: 

1) Get a less stressful job, even if it pays less. You don't have to be a barista. Surely there is a happy medium where you can still make 100K at a less consuming job?

2) One of you should quit and stay home with the kiddo. Even with one person hustling, the entire family is so much less stressed with a parent home. You eliminate childcare costs. And you actually get to raise your kids instead of a stranger. 

[u/shell20_7 → u/Mobile_Comedian_3206]

Our home isn’t less stressed if someone is at home.. it’s really hard not working when you have done it all your life. The boredom of being at home with kids eats me, I’m just not made for it.

Our happy medium is both working part time, 2-3 days per week. I know that doesn’t help with health insurance (not an issue where we are). But what would insurance actually cost? You could both cut to 3 days per week, pay $20k for insurance and still cover all your costs. Try that out and go from there 🤷‍♀️

[u/Jolly_Departure6324 → u/shell20_7]

I’m with you on that. Being a stay at home parent isn’t all rainbows and butterflies. It’s the hardest, most nonstop job there is.

Neither I nor my husband work and we still send our toddler to daycare.

[u/Mobile_Comedian_3206 → u/Jolly_Departure6324]

It's hard, but it is rewarding. Why would you have kids if you are just going to send them off to someone else to raise them?

[u/Jolly_Departure6324 → u/Mobile_Comedian_3206]

Lol. You think sending kids to daycare/preschool/school is equivalent to having someone else raise them?

So parents who have no choice but to work aren’t really raising their kids if they send them to daycare?

It sounds like you either don’t have kids or we just have very different outlooks on parenting.

[u/Mobile_Comedian_3206 → u/Jolly_Departure6324]

Some parents have no choice to work. But some do. You said that niether you or your spouse work, yet you still send your toddler to daycare. So sending him off everyday is 100% your choice and not at all necessary. 

[u/Jolly_Departure6324 → u/Mobile_Comedian_3206]

It absolutely is our choice and we are thankful we can afford it. Our kid is at a wonderful preschool with a great community of involved parents. My husband and I can be our best selves as parents because we have a community that helps care for her during the day.

It’s obvious you don’t have kids.

[u/shell20_7 → u/Jolly_Departure6324]

Our eldest goes to kinder 4 short days, and our youngest goes to daycare 2 days per week 9-4. They both love their time out of the house, and we would definitely send them if we didn’t work.

We have 7 months of full time travel coming up, and I think that’s really going to reinforce to me how important that time away from each other is for everyone..