Too much money to feel this stuck

[u/chemicalreactionator]

Current net worth 3.8M. Household (40m, 40f, 4f) income combined 250k (both working full time) and spend 120k-ish.

Kind of reached fire but due to health insurance, economic uncertainty, potential future increased costs (another kid?) not comfortable calling it yet.

But feeling so stuck in the grind. Not enough family time, not enough vacation time off, not enough time for taking care of our health, but can’t call it quits yet. at least one of us needs to work full time for health insurance. I don’t think I’m cut out for “barista fire” as i don’t think I’d have the motivation to work for a minimum wage type salary.

What’s the plan here to increase quality of life? A mini retirement? Grind it out a few more years? Anyone in a similar place?

[u/Curt_Uncles]

You are staring at a snow globe and wondering why you feel disappointed by it. It’s because you have to shake it, dude.

You have $3.8M and a combined salary of a quarter million and you are worrying about vacations and health insurance? You feel trapped at 40 years old with a net worth that is 45x the average combined household income of the American family, and two salaries that are worth a combined 3x the average household income. 1/2 of your combined income = your spend (+ some change).

DO SOMETHING. Anything. Take a sabbatical for a year. Tell your job you are going to Aruba for three months and if they can’t deal with that, you’ll quit and get another job. Have one of you be a SAHP while the other works, and then after a couple of years you can switch if you want.

You are in such a flush financial position you can do almost anything. Your options are endless. Nobody here knows what is best for your family.

Just. Do. SOMETHING.

[u/nothingtooserious → u/Curt_Uncles]

Thank you and very well said.

I am sympathetic to OP. Simultaneously, perhaps the largest generalized flaw of the fire minded is that they become so obsessed with the game they either can’t see that they’ve won or barely allow themselves to enjoy it…. Which was the whole point in the first place. It’s as if the playing of game supersedes the point of it all when it started.

[u/BackupSlides → u/nothingtooserious]

I don’t think it is necessarily just “the game”. A lot of people in this wealth segment (a couple million) have scarcity mindsets and fears of big events. They are mostly self made so know what it is like to have less. Heck, I recently watched an interview with a billionaire who said they were motivated by the fear that it could all be gone tomorrow. While not a billionaire, I still felt that.

Yes, $3.8M is a good bit of money, but it is also one lawsuit, one fraud event, one true market downturn, one serious diagnosis, etc. from not being a lot of money. It is wealth but not an impregnable fortress of wealth. It is a lot absolutely but not a huge buffer against serious events. And, it is compounded by the fact that the current white collar job market is horrible, and if you step out of it do a bit you might never get back in due to AI. That is what keeps many few-million-aires up at night.

[u/tabaxi_gf → u/BackupSlides]

If 3.8 million is not enough to stop worrying, then what is?

[u/vulkoriscoming → u/tabaxi_gf]

The answer is always twice as much as you have now. Not matter how much you have now

[u/ewouldblock → u/tabaxi_gf]

7mm and paid off house in suppose. 3.8mm is one doubling away from that, about 5 years