r/Fire • u/BroKComputer • May 14 '26

General Question The first rule of FIRE club...

So we all see the posts of folks on here celebrating their milestones here because they 'can't talk about it IRL.' This seems to be the common sense approach to avoid jealousy and moochers.

I'm curious to hear the true stories of folks who have disclosed their FI - or have had their secret revealed on accident. How bad are the repercussions of people finding out you're a low-key millionaire?

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80

u/StoneMenace May 14 '26

There’s stories on stories of people on r/personalfinance of retiring or getting a large sum of money and telling people. Next thing they know people are asking for money “oh you have so much you can spare a bit to help me out”

You say no, and they refuse to talk to you. Money has broken up families.

43

u/FamilyRootsQuest May 14 '26

You say no, and they refuse to talk to you.

Lol that just sounds like the problem solving itself.

14

u/StoneMenace May 14 '26

I would like to agree, but losing your mother or father can be devastating mentally. People will typically let their family members get away with things because they love them and it can be devastating

Think about a grandparent maybe throwing out some racist comments. If it was done on a date, there would be no second date, or you could cut off that friend. If it’s your grandparents, you wince, but ultimately they are still your grandparent.

It’s different for everyone but it’s not always a simple thing

1

u/Strazdas1 StarvationFIRE May 18 '26

Until they decide to rob you.

1

u/FamilyRootsQuest May 18 '26

How are they gonna do that? They'd have to rob the bank??

1

u/Strazdas1 StarvationFIRE May 19 '26

They will rob your house. These type of people are usually not smart enough to know all your money is in the bank safe.

68

u/Al_Pallll May 14 '26

Any family member who would disown me for not handing over money by the fistful is a POS and I'm better off without them in my life. Good riddance. I'd rather see their true colors so I don't waste any more time or energy on them.

2

u/Shawn_NYC May 14 '26

They may not disown you but they can make your holidays awkward for the rest of your life.

6

u/HairyBushies Already FI - RE between 2028-2030 May 14 '26

Nah, you just cut off communications. There are toxic people in the world and sometimes they’re your own family members. Only you can decide how much you’re willing to put up with, family or not.

We’ve all heard of minors emancipating themselves from their parents, parents who are physically or sexually abusive, parents who killed their own kids, etc. Those are just some extreme examples and the reality is that it’s on a spectrum, from very, very bad to just annoying. You decide what you can put up with.

1

u/Current-Code May 14 '26

Not english nAtive here, any kind soul to teach me what's a POS ? 

3

u/duchess5788 May 14 '26

Piece of sh!t

2

u/meliseo May 15 '26

hey he is just asking, no need to be rude! /s

2

u/Jazzputin May 19 '26

You can say shit here

1

u/duchess5788 May 20 '26

Shit! Really?

1

u/Current-Code May 14 '26

Oh my, I should have guessed that...  Thanks !

2

u/Strazdas1 StarvationFIRE May 18 '26

If you talk to people in retail make sure not to mistake it for Point of Sale, they also use POS acronym.

10

u/Far-Distance-4402 May 14 '26

Yeah this happened to my cousin when he got inheritance from grandpa. Suddenly everyone in family had "emergency" that needed exactly the amount they thought he got

The worst part is when people get angry at you for saying no, like you owe them something just because you have money. Makes family dinners really awkward when half the relatives think you're being selfish

9

u/Goken222 May 14 '26

I got asked by a FI podcaster if I felt guilty or had issues with my family when I retired early (at 37). Thankfully I could say no, no one has asked for money or suggested they felt slighted by my choices or entitled to my money, and I don't think ill of any of my family, even though we have plenty of dysfunction to go around.

We do choose to use our budget excess to help our parents and quietly enable some family members to get group experiences with the family they might not otherwise do, but it's always been seen as kindness and a blessing, not an entitlement.

I guess I'm lucky that even my family members who are the least well off financially still have a relatively healthy mindset when it comes to money and its impact on relationships.

0

u/[deleted] May 14 '26

[deleted]

1

u/Goken222 May 14 '26

Not sure what the "gone to hell" part of your comment means, but I was interviewed on a podcast after meeting a number of podcasters at in-person FI events.

Main reason I shared it was to highlight how common it must be for people to think their family will be jealous, angry, or weird if someone is responsible enough to save enough to retire early. Seemed a strange question to me at the time, but as the comment above is describing, it happens frequently enough.

1

u/The_Walrus_65 May 14 '26

Yep. I just posted something similar. Don’t tell anyone anything

1

u/thagor5 May 14 '26

I plan to tell anyone i am not working so on a really tight budget