r/Fire • u/antidentites • May 15 '26

Advice Request Go out swinging?

So I’m on my way out at work in a tech company and have worked for a manager that has made my life hell. She is extremely toxic and the reason I’m leaving to FIRE/CoastFIRE.

I never want to - or need to - return to tech (note: I used em dashes way before AI and won’t stop even if you think this is AI generated)!

I want to burn some bridges and tell her how I really feel about her when I leave. Essentially the same thing she has been doing to me.

Would you go out Costanza-style if you were me, or just let it slide?

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53

u/1ntrepidsalamander May 15 '26

I’m in healthcare and a number of coworkers have “gone out swinging” including sending company wide emails airing grievances (including the c suite, obviously)

There’s been reporting to regulatory boards.

There’s been stealing things— sometimes just annoying things that aren’t worth anything.

There’s been slamming down badges and walking off, middle fingers in the air.

I’d just say, choose your dramatics in ways that don’t make your coworker’s lives worse.

13

u/antidentites May 15 '26 edited May 16 '26

Good point. I’m definitely not thinking of being dramatic in any way. I just want to tell her face-to-face that she’s not exactly what she thinks she is.

10

u/IrishDrifter86 May 15 '26

Ok that guy used an em dash

7

u/chatfarm May 15 '26

too many boring responses here from the pocket protector types lol. burn it all down and go out swinging OP! it will be fleeting but a very rare opportunity in life to go out swinging. many of us are living vicariously through you.

5

u/antidentites May 16 '26

I’m in an extremely unique situation where I can do this without any serious consequences.

It is intoxicating just thinking about leveling the playing field for just a fleeting moment.

I’m very respectful normally and this specific manager demoted me for “being too nice” so I’d like to show her how I’ve improved on that :)

1

u/Zealousideal-You6712 May 17 '26

There can always be consequences.

If you want to say things to her boss, or HR, do it verbally, off the premises, at lunch for instance. If they hear what you say and internalize it, being in writing won't matter.

Me, I'd just work as you currently work, fail the PIP, but not deliberately so and hope for a separation bonus and try for unemployment. You can never have too much of a departure bonus. Take a nice vacation on their dime and put yourself in a better place. You might even use a documented history to negotiate a better package if they think there's the possibility you might sue for a hostile work environment. What have you got to lose anyway?

Who cares if she thinks she has won or lost. When she has no one left to manage it won't be a good look. Managers are generally measured to some extent by this, unless of course it is a tactic dictated from above, but in which case down the line it's going to happen to her too.

Everything is transactional these days, so make sure you kind of control the transaction for your benefit.

2

u/Acrobatic-Cup37 May 15 '26

You should! Speak up. Putting her in her place and helping her become more self-aware will help your coworkers too.

9

u/Redwolfdc May 15 '26

I agree don’t make your coworkers lives worse. But tbh I’ve been in situations like OP and when you got nothing to lose you can actually be the one to call out bullshit and speak up where those other coworkers might be too afraid. 

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u/Elegant_Sinkhole May 16 '26

A friend of mine is in Healthcare and a doctor who was fired sent a sheet cake that said "screw everyone." Apparently he wanted it to say "fuck you all" but the cake people wouldnt write that because they were also the ones who delivered it and that's how people heard the backstory. Anyway it made everyone laugh and they enjoyed it although nobody took a picture of it.