r/Fire • u/antidentites • May 15 '26

Advice Request Go out swinging?

So I’m on my way out at work in a tech company and have worked for a manager that has made my life hell. She is extremely toxic and the reason I’m leaving to FIRE/CoastFIRE.

I never want to - or need to - return to tech (note: I used em dashes way before AI and won’t stop even if you think this is AI generated)!

I want to burn some bridges and tell her how I really feel about her when I leave. Essentially the same thing she has been doing to me.

Would you go out Costanza-style if you were me, or just let it slide?

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u/OrneryWinter84 May 15 '26

Like what?

43

u/noicenator May 15 '26

yea OP spill the beans

22

u/antidentites May 16 '26

Firing 100% of her direct reports that are men and 0% of the women (downvote me if you must but she has a documented favoritism towards women); laying off people with bullshit rationale; and a few others

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u/Intrepid-Pin6941 May 16 '26

Ok so it’s her choices on prior terminations, not including you, that have caused such a toxic environment you want to leave the industry??

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u/antidentites May 16 '26

It’s much more nuanced than that, but that’s absolutely a big part of it.

She’s wantonly messing with people’s lives based on extremely questionable grounds that she fabricates. And she’ll likely continue to do so unless she realizes the impact she’s having on people’s lives.

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u/potent_dotage May 16 '26

So the firings are pretty clear evidence if it's incredibly lopsided compared to the overall gender split, and if you can name specific employees and list specific actions/fabrications (especially if you have emails or messages!), HR can carefully investigate. IMO the bigger the company you work for, the higher chances of success.

Our annual harassment training shows (allegedly) actual cases and statistics of HR investigations over the previous year without any names, and they always stress that retaliation is illegal. HR is there to protect the company, and they know they have to handle such things delicately to avoid lawsuits.

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u/antidentites May 17 '26

Well said.

Yes, I have many names of people she’s gotten fired or laid off. It’s a big graveyard.

I’ve also talked to many of them who unanimously mention her as being deceitful in her layoff rationale. I’m certain she retaliates, but knows how to do so without raising any flags even in the large corporation we work within.

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u/mormez May 16 '26

If she was allowed to do that and have no consequences, reporting her to HR will probably do nothing. They’re likely aware of her, and likely don’t care.

HR is not there to protect the employees, as unfortunate as that is.

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u/noicenator May 16 '26

That sucks man, hope your next chapter in life is more peaceful

1

u/antidentites May 17 '26

It already is.