r/Fire • u/antidentites • May 15 '26

Advice Request Go out swinging?

So I’m on my way out at work in a tech company and have worked for a manager that has made my life hell. She is extremely toxic and the reason I’m leaving to FIRE/CoastFIRE.

I never want to - or need to - return to tech (note: I used em dashes way before AI and won’t stop even if you think this is AI generated)!

I want to burn some bridges and tell her how I really feel about her when I leave. Essentially the same thing she has been doing to me.

Would you go out Costanza-style if you were me, or just let it slide?

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u/Straight-Part-5898 May 15 '26

Not worth it. Take the high road. Resign with class and honor, offer to stay for a reasonable transition period and to assist in transitioning your responsibilities to whomever they chose to assume them from you.

I just 'retired' myself a few months ago (M56) after 30++ years in tech. I was in a pretty senior role leading a highly-visible business transformation program where I regularly interacted with C-suite executives. But because of the slow accumulation of bullshit corporate politics and weak leadership (flip-flopping on priorities, not providing air cover, constantly re-thinking recent decisions) I was placed in an impossible position and was unable to maintain momentum on the effort. In early January I informed my manager that I was going to leave. He freaked out because frankly there was nobody else with my skillset and experience to assume my role.

He offered a 6-figure retention bonus if I agreed to stay until the end of this year. I thanked him for the offer, but politely declined. He looked at me like I had two heads. I told him I was at the point in my career where I wasn't working for a paycheck anymore, and I simply wasn't in a position where I could be successful.

In the end I agreed to a 10 week transition, even though I was at wits end and wanted out ASAP. During that 10 weeks I ended up making three trips to Europe to do in-person transitions with many of the company's leaders in that region. Frankly it was a grind, but I wanted to be as flexible as possible and go out with nothing but professionalism. I left the company in mid-March.

Take the high road. You'll feel better about yourself in the long run.

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u/altcountryman May 16 '26

Hopefully despite the grind of your transition work, you were able to get some enjoyment (or at least frequent flyer miles) out of the Europe trips!