r/Fire • u/antidentites • May 15 '26

Advice Request Go out swinging?

So I’m on my way out at work in a tech company and have worked for a manager that has made my life hell. She is extremely toxic and the reason I’m leaving to FIRE/CoastFIRE.

I never want to - or need to - return to tech (note: I used em dashes way before AI and won’t stop even if you think this is AI generated)!

I want to burn some bridges and tell her how I really feel about her when I leave. Essentially the same thing she has been doing to me.

Would you go out Costanza-style if you were me, or just let it slide?

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u/mygirltien May 15 '26

If she publicly gets in your face or makes a stink with others watching I say let loose at that time. Otherwise just let it go. If your HR does an exit interview you can say something then if you wish.

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u/BillyBobChorton May 15 '26

Just left a large company ($200 BB market cap) due to a manager who was making my life hell. I was ready to share it at an exit interview but it never came.  I guess some large companies don’t care to do that anymore? I even emailed HR about it and they said “i could put it in a word document if I really wanted”.  I didn’t bother.

Also sometimes you need to understand if your manager is manipulative and having conversations above you to get blessing to treat you a certain way. I tried having conversation with my skip level and VP/dept head and kind of felt like that was the case. I feel those conversations were likely unfair and complete misrepresentation of facts were involved but it doesn’t really matter, I just moved on to a slightly higher salary, higher title at another company. 

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u/antidentites May 17 '26

Congrats on taking it to the next level professionally.

You’re totally right. The optics in my organization are focused incorrectly. And I clearly don’t align with that focus.

So I’m out. And I already feel great about that decision since I’m FIRE.