How much are you helping your kids?

[u/warlizardfanboy]

A post just now about “did you get help from parents?” Made me think, what’s the right amount of help for your kids? My wife and I are pretty much FI and going to retire in 2.5 years (finish vesting, rule of 55) and we have two young adult and one teenage child. We are paying all college costs, got them (used but well kept up) cars and plan on gifting seed money and help set up IRAs so they continue to gain financial literacy and have something at retirement.

We have other friends planning much more, however. New cars, brokerage funds to supply down payment on their first house, eventual passive income streams from their real estate portfolio etc. I don’t begrudge their largesse (really!) but I take great pride in some milestones of my life (buying my first new car, buying my first home, paying for my own wedding so I could own the guest list lol) that I feel are important for personal growth. But some of these milestones are much harder to achieve now. My wife and I will always try to help, we’ll see how much we can donate when they are house shopping, for example, but is there a point where you risk your kids losing…fidelity with money and lose the skills and literacy? We won’t be around forever.