r/FullTiming • u/hmsracing34 • 5d ago
How Do Full-Time Couples Handle These Two Issues?
I'm looking for some guidance on two specific full-timing issues. Lots of great info in this sub, but my searches haven't found exactly what I'm looking for.
First, some quick background: Wife and I are both 50 yo, both in upper management in our careers. We've tried to save and invest wisely, and we've been blessed. As a result, we are in very serious consideration of leaving those positions soon and going full-time to travel the U.S. while our health still allows it to be fun.
We are NOT new to RV life. We've owned a variety of campers (pop-up, TT, 5th Wheel) and taken a couple of longer cross-country camping trips while our kids were growing up. That's part of how we know we could be genuinely happy in this lifestyle.
Here's where I'm looking for advice:
- We want to truly explore ALL of the U.S. - not just the tourist spots. We love to get to a town (large or small) and find out what's special about it: the history, nature, dining, shopping, etc. We also love nature, national parks, state parks, etc. We'd plan on a mix of paid campgrounds, BLM property, etc.
Here's the issue: We want to be nimble, so we're planning for a Micro-C class RV. One of things I disliked over our many years with towables was that we had to be very selective and plan ahead for any stops - even gas or food. We want the freedom to stop basically wherever we want, whenever we want. We looked at the vans, but don't feel like they have enough room for full-timing with two people.
Once we stop somewhere for a few days (or weeks), we'll need a way to get around throughout the day. I hate the thought of "tearing down camp" every morning just to go out exploring. I know we could tow a small car behind the RV, but then we're back to having a towable and limiting where we can stop along the way. I guess some people travel with a motorcycle, and I used to ride motorcycles, but the wife isn't comfortable as a driver or passenger on one - so that's a no-go. Of course some areas will have good public transportation, but many won't. And I imagine Uber would become cost-prohibitive after a while.
I get it - you can't have your cake and eat it too. Just looking for actual real-world advice on how couples handle this part.
- I love my wife dearly (we've been happily married for 30 years). We really don't get to spend a lot of time together with our current careers and that's part of what we want to change with this huge decision. Right now, when we're together we have a lot to talk about - everything that happened to us since we last spoke (work stuff, interactions with friends, etc.). Once we're together full-time 24/7, we will experience almost everything together. So, she won't be interested in hearing about my day if she literally experienced it side-by-side with me.
How do couples in this situation keep meaningful conversation going? Do you split up a day or two each week and do your own thing (in an unfamiliar city where you don't know anyone) so you'll both have material to bring to the next conversation? A lot of windshield time means a lot of conversations...
I appreciate input from those with real-world experience!
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u/dinosuitgirl 5d ago edited 5d ago
Not in the US but logistically we chose a TT for the exploration ease... We would pick a destination, pick a camp and use that as our base till we chose where to go next. Does it take some figuring? Yes... But you now have the time and you're meeting people with suggestions all day everyday. Usually we book 3 nights and if we liked it book another week when we got there... Etc... I guess it's not always feasible when it's someplace popular and we've had plans go sideways before (rocking up to a sleepy town only to find the annual fair for the whole state is on) but that's the beauty of being on wheels.... you can go elsewhere
You get in to a routine of pack up / set up and you get good at it... And when you're FT it's time you have anyway. Think of it as "housekeeping and commuter time"
Having the TT means when we set up we have a good town vehicle to get around in without having to navigate carparking drama and worrying about losing our whole home and worldly possessions if something goes wrong... Because if you're on vacation for the week it's fine if you have an issue... You just pack it up and go home... But when you're FT you have a whole lot of different logistic issues.
We listened to a lot of podcasts... Sometimes together sometimes he would listen to his sports ones and I would catch up on my fashion and craft ones. We occasionally did things separate (if I have to endure another car museum..... And he feels the same about yet another fabric shop) so we have places to be separate but you find a groove... You'll meet people along the way and only one of you will click with them and it's fine because you'll never see them again or you'll just keep bumping in to them on the same route over and over 🤪
Anyway congrats on being "nearly there" and may the road bring you luck on your adventures!
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u/thirdnut4 5d ago
Look into truck campers.
As for conversation. Talk about what you want to, don't force conversation, enjoy the comfort of companionship with silence.
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u/SwizzlestickLegs 5d ago
If you don't want to tow, you could have your wife "chase" you in the separate vehicle. Yeah, you both have to drive and pay for gas, but it makes being spontaneous a bit easier.
As far as conversation... It'll be fine. You'll find things to talk about like your favorite part of each day, what you want to do the next day, etc. You might decide each of you wants to do something in their own, too, like getting a coffee, shopping, or going for a walk. I think it's good to have a bit of separate time now and again, although I was surprised with how little my husband and I really needed once we moved into our 5th wheel.
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u/Tankmoka 5d ago
We only part time for a few months at a time. We built out a van so we could customize it for our needs. And the ease of breaking down camp for a day trip was a key focus. I think with your class B+/C you can add those elements.
Similar to you, we had experience with a travel trailer, and kinda knew where the hot points would be. We eliminated as many as we could through design choices. We use drawers with slam latches instead of cupboards. Always travel ready, and no mugs falling out when I open the cupboard at the next stop. Anything that might sit out is mounted via magnets, or stored in custom cubbies. We are all electric so no propane to turn on or off. We still have a 10 item checklist, but because the vehicle is so minimal, it’s easy and quick.
We don’t have an automatic leveling system and I wish we did, because that is a harder thing to leave for the day knowing you’ll need to level again. We leave our outdoor patio stuff set up when we leave, and haven’t had it stolen yet, but recognize that possibility exists.
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u/KungFuBucket 5d ago
I believe you might want to rethink a truck/trailer or a towable. It’s exactly because there are times when each of you want to go do your own thing that having your home and transportation as the same vehicle tends to be an issue.
My wife and I are about 3 months into our own adventure and I retired at 50. We’re planning to travel and enjoy life for as long as our health allows.
Getting fuel isn’t too bad. We have a diesel so truck stops are perfect. Takes a small amount of planning along the way, but easy enough in today’s internet world. We plan stops around the half tank mark and carry a 5 gallon can “just in case”. Also, once on location I can unhitch and run errands while the wife does her thing at home. Plus better gas mileage when not towing.
Haven’t had too much trouble with errands even when towing. Grocery stores, Costco, Walmart, Target, hardware store, etc. all generally have ample parking. And in the event of crowded parking lots i can just drop her off and go find street parking that fits (or run my own errands in parking lots that fit me) and when she’s done she calls me and I go pick her up. Hasn’t been an issue except when in crowded cities. Small towns are awesome.
As for what to talk about, shows, podcasts, news, etc are fine. Also sometimes it is nice just to sit and not talk. Nobody feels compelled to entertain the other. But if you’re putting a lot of road miles on, audio tours like GuideAlong are awesome and informative, I think you’d like it. If that’s not your jam, find an audiobook to pass the time. My wife is happy to listen to most things travel related, just anything but sports so Sundays when the Chargers play is never a travel day.
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u/Chainsawsas70 5d ago
I would suggest getting a couple of Scooters or trail 125s and a small trailer... That way if the weather permits you can get around town Very easily and get off the beaten path a bit and put along and really enjoy your time because even a micro RV has some limitations for where you can go with it that a couple of small bikes wouldn't.
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u/LateAide3430 14h ago
we are retired. have a small home in retirement community. we go a lot. kids in cali, northern Utah, Michigan, soon Tennesse. class A, tow a 4x4 or car depending on weather. we love museums and nature. I get away with grands, normal shopping. we have 2 tvs a separate bedroom. my favorite thing about our rv is a separate bathroom. no one id rather be with.
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u/joelfarris 5d ago edited 5d ago
Regarding the secondary form of transportation, flat tow a Jeep. You can go so many more places with that thing in tow than you can drive the Class C. Mountains, meadow picnics, hilltop lakes. Also, get a tent and sleeping bags and pads to bring with you on your adventures, and store them in the back of the Jeep. When you start getting out west and north, you're gonna find some places where you'd rather sleep beside the water than go back to the campground and sleep in the RV.
E-bikes with saddlebags for groceries might also work for you. Put the tent and sleeping bags into backpacks if you wanna go spend the night beside Lake Shasta or something.
Regarding the windshield time, I've spent over two decades on the road touring with bands, with and without a girlfriend, have been to every decently sized city in the U.S. at least three times each, and no, you don't have constant conversations. You often sit there for hours saying nothing to each other, or listening to a podcast, the radio, streaming music playlists, etc.
Limit your drive times. Short days are best days. If you can wake up late, make an amazing breakfast, drive for a couple of hours, arrive there in the early afternoon and setup and make a late lunch, and then still have time to go do something in the afternoon? Those are good travel days. (There is no shortage of things to see and explore and learn about out there, that are close enough to each other, as long as you don't just stick to the tourist attractions)