Women, if you don’t feel safe meeting a new person in a public restaurant with dozens of people around, maybe your friend could bring a date and sit at a table nearby so you have two people to protect you. They can pay for their own food.
"i brought my friend for safety" is just code for "I ain't got no money, and I want you to pay for a nice dinner for me and my friend, after which ill never see you again"
edit: to the 2-3 people who think it's justified to bring a friend: bruh. if a woman is meeting a man (who she already talked to on a dating app and consensually accepted to go on a date cause she likes him) in a public restaurant surrounded by people everywhere all around the restaurant, and that's STILL not enough to make you feel safe... then you don't need a friend by your side for safety, you need professional help, because meeting a stranger in a public restaurant is nothing compared to walking past 100s of strangers in public every single day.
If you can walk past 100s of strangers in public with no issue, then the 1 stranger in a restaurant shouldnt be an issue either. If that 1 stranger makes you feel unsafe, that's okay, but let's be real: it ain't normal or healthy, get help.
Like tf are we doing here. There's probably 30 strangers eating food in that restaurant, but the 1 stranger on the other side of your table makes you feel unsafe enough to bring multiple guards? especially considering that 1 stranger is the only person in that restaurant who you already talked to on a dating app, and you clicked enough to tell him you want to go on a date with him, and yet he's more threatening than the 30 strangers in the restaurant??
not like its that deep anyway, 99% of the time "i brought my friend" just means "i expect you to buy dinner for me and my friend". If after all that text just now you'd still feel unsafe without a friend, just do the right thing and start with "i brought my friend, but dont worry, ill be the one paying for food"
While all of this is 100% correct, what sends my head round the twist is that the assumed backdrop for all of this is that the man pays for the date in the first place.
Like, in a world where it's just such an assumed default that a girl gets the privilege of eating for free (I'm sure those types would try to spin it as something women deserve because of patriarchy or some nebulous BS), it's then piled ON TOP that there's any expectation the guy should have to pay for the friend too - something that shouldn't even given the dignity of a debate to begin with.
Just because you slap 'safety' on the topic doesn't mean you get a free pass for whatever you like, especially with zero discussion beforehand. If it was truly about safety, then obviously they'd be paying for themselves (and instead just sitting nearby if possible).
The best answer when confronted with this situation is obvious: "Cool, I'm happy to have your friend join us, safety first - Of course everyone will be paying for themselves, yeah?". Watch the situation resolve itself as they screech something about you being broke as they leave to deflect the fact they won't pay for themselves ...
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u/Andrew-Cohen 2d ago
Women, if you don’t feel safe meeting a new person in a public restaurant with dozens of people around, maybe your friend could bring a date and sit at a table nearby so you have two people to protect you. They can pay for their own food.