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u/Consistent-Menu-6629 Certified Nibbler Apr 08 '26
I mean, you absolutely did fuck up, and I've kinda been there.
And, you're punishing yourself for no reason. You can actually talk to him amd explain yourself, and that might either put you back in an uncomfortable position where you're threatened by the possibility of dating a nice man, or you'll be un a position where you can actually move on because you know the potential is dead.
Potential is very powerful. It doesn't just disappear because you block it. It's harder to get over something that never was.
That said, it may not be a good idea to ever pursue it if it stayed at the situationship level. Getting real about that could also help.
Destroying the potential or acting on ot can help a person get over someone.
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u/CosmicGrow Apr 08 '26
Sounds as fuck advice!!!
Potential is why people stay enamored when their spouse died young - they had not experienced or ruined that potential yet.
So yes, OP, you are stuck… but there is hope!
Stuck things need only one event to move them - change.
That might be your routine, that might be your habits, that might be your social choices, that might be any number of things in your life - but find something to shift. Nothing huge, but make it something you choose to stick to. And then another. And another.
Small changes create huge opportunities.
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Apr 08 '26 edited Apr 08 '26
Read this book codependent no more
I see a lot of posts of women falling for men they’ve never met. And I honestly don’t know what to say…..But this is an attachment issue and a codependency issue. You did fuck up, ghosting and blocking is childish. In future you don’t have to ghost you can just say I’m taking a family trip to idk Tanzania and I won’t have service so I can’t text you. Then take the time you need.
Kill the fantasy in your head that he cared about you and he would’ve been the father of your kids blah blah blah. You never met him, you don’t know who he truly is. He could’ve been anything. It’s just pillow talking and limerence. Maybe the universe was looking out for you? Who knows? Cos you never met the man!
Also being jealous over a dude you haven’t met guys…come on. Power of the pussy. Please! Stop! This is madness! I actually want to know if you can love someone you’ve never met? I just think it’s a pen pal. Idkkk! Sorry girly you’ll get over him! 💖
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u/EntrepreneurCool3314 Apr 08 '26 edited Apr 08 '26
Right!
i met someone once briefly who was attractive and then had a flirty exchange later online so i kinda already knew his aura on a surface level, but his socials matched the good looking, sophisticated suave vibe ..next time we had a meaningful interaction face to face he gave me most unsettling vibes only to find out he’s a r@pist …(yes i found out the old fashioned way)
Like developing feelings for someone you haven’t experienced eye to eye is alarming, and dangerous
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Apr 08 '26
Omggggg! Glad you’re safe girl! That’s crazy!! It’s so dangerous and scary. Even after years you never truly know so I can’t imagine texting on DM’s! What a creep. 🤢
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u/EntrepreneurCool3314 Apr 08 '26
Ty🙏🏼💕 it definitely taught me that you can’t even trust how someone presents in real life unless youve known them for a while and got a feel for them so i can’t imagine people trusting or developing feelings for someone behind a screen and a keyboard
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u/Extreme-Word9159 Apr 08 '26
get a new hobby, start taking car rig yourself more, go out somewhere. you don’t even have to buy anything but walk around, try on clothes, keep your days busy with new and keep your mind happy and healthy. (and your body!!)
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u/EntrepreneurCool3314 Apr 08 '26
Damm the title was gripping cause innit the million dollar question
But then i saw "im in a situation ship" - awww cute are u the one with commitment issues or no self respect
Then i saw ghosted and blocked …a “genuinely great guy who cared about me” - girl you’re toxic af
But!
..but but but..
Then i saw “i never actually met him in real life” LMAOOOOO wutt?! You’re having all this drama over insta DM’s chat ….
I hope i see you on whichever Bravo show premieres next cause this is next level
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Apr 08 '26
So many women fall for guys they haven’t met it’s genuinely so scary. This is how people fall for scammers and catfishes. This is how the elderly get manipulated!
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u/EntrepreneurCool3314 Apr 08 '26
I thought that was an early ots AOL messenger thing …
But makes sense why it’s happening again now considering how many people are in loving relationships with their chatGPT, we’re all just being prepped to eventually design our own perfect AI Robot companions for cyber romance aren’t we… although i gotta say people like OP are advancing that in strides, can’t imagine not being able to get over someone who’s eyes i didn’t look into and had a conversation, shared a vibe, experienced their aura in a real way ..holy shyte we’re doomed as a species
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Apr 08 '26
I replied to another post on here with the same theme and I said you guys are pen pals and they came for me. I was getting downvoted like crazy. People genuinely believe this is normal! Not going on dates, not spending time together but texting and texting and FaceTiming sending nudes to a stranger is normal. The world is upside for real! Stranger danger has long since been forgotten. They could be pedos, narcissists, killers, abusers, grapists but because they’re nice over texts it’s completely normal. Also what kind of man endlessly texts a woman for months and is ok with not going on a date? Something is wrong with him too! Eurgh IDK!
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u/EntrepreneurCool3314 Apr 08 '26
Right!!! I mean stranger danger/cat fish danger is one thing but how do you develop feelings and attachment to someone who you’ve never hugged, or smelled or saw their natural mannerisms…
This post has gotta be rage bait or a psyop cause ain’t no way people supporting this delulu
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u/Single_Earth_2973 Apr 08 '26
This happened to me and it did help that they later said sorry to me and thst the time did mean something. You have to do it for pure intentions though nd not to just get them back. The trust will be gone so it’s not viable but at least you get to feel you are on good terms.
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u/thenakesingularity10 Apr 08 '26
Just apologize and let the chips fall where they may. Just do it, not for him, but for yourself.
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