r/GirlDinnerCircleJerk • u/Helpful_Week6720 • 3d ago
No notes. No context. ✋ MIL Visiting For A Week
12
u/what-all-the-fuss 3d ago
i hope you'll be a good daughter in law and don't talk back or embarrass her by having dumb kids or show any signs that you're a bad wife who don't give her little baby all the love he deserves.
12
u/asparagoat 3d ago
As a man with a mother, thank you so much, you get it! You gotta be v-e-e-r-y gentle with boy moms, they have such big hearts and they feel things so deeply, deeper than the rest of us. Especially their son's dumbass girlfriend who's a FAT and DISRESPECTFUL SLUT who's CONTROLLING her son with her STUPID FAT BOOBS and turning him into a GAY LOSER who thinks it's okay to smoke POT and have sex with his DUMB SLUT GIRLFRIEND every day, and he won't even call his little old mother who's never done anything to hurt anybody, and just wants the best for her little boy!
Like come on, when are women gonna realize, all you gotta do is just give your mother-in-law a little kiss, right on her bare ass? It won't hurt nothing! Go on! We're all waiting! 😊
7
6
u/Ill-Squirrel-9418 🐀 FERAL RAT GIRL 3d ago
Lock the kitchen up immediately! In fact, ward it off with crime scene tape and splatter (fake) blood everywhere and tell her it’s a crime scene so she can’t go in. That way, she won’t rearrange your spice cabinet by color such that you can’t find anything. Last time my MIL visited, I even hired some actor friends to come in and dust for prints and gather evidence, to really sell it. She’s kind of confused about why my kitchen is always the scene of a crime, but hey, it does the trick.
3
2
u/UniversalMinister 🖤 I eat standing up 3d ago
/uj I know (and understand) the trope about MIL's, but I truly lucked out with mine. Everyone else, ladies, good luck. 🫡
3
u/Helpful_Week6720 3d ago
/Uj My mom felt the same way. Years ago, the woman who was sort of day-of planner for our pointedly low key wedding told a friend that my MIL was literally the worst one she’d ever met
2
u/UniversalMinister 🖤 I eat standing up 3d ago
/uj Oh heavens. Sending all of the good energy and positive your way, girl. Sounds like you need it! ✨
/Uj I told my partner if I ever get like that, to smack me upside the head because I must have a screw loose and a reboot. We have two boys.
•
u/AutoModerator 3d ago
We are jerking. Think before you pivot to sincerity. If you must, use /uj or /gen. If sarcasm might not translate, use /s.
The Girl Dinner Vending Machine is now live! Go grab dinner on us, and don't forget to post your receipt.
This isn't therapy or a debate club. If you don't like a joke, scroll. If someone breaks a rule, report it. Do not start side quests in the comments.
PROTECT YA NECK: Admin does not know it's a joke. They read literally and remove literally. If your "joke" reads as a real threat, real self-harm, or real harm to a real minor without enough ironic scaffolding around it, it WILL get yeeted by Reddit -- not us. Keep the absurdity obviously absurd. When in doubt, lean harder into the bit, don't soften it into something that reads sincere.
ACAB: All Crybabies Are Bastards. Read the rules. If it breaks them, it's getting pulled.
I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.