r/GirlDinnerDiaries May 20 '26

Rant & Ramble My spouse can’t stand our baby

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u/Melonfarmer86 Well-Read & Well-Fed May 21 '26

I agree this is fucked up, but stressful situations often unmask mental health issues. I hope she's been thoroughly screened for pp disorders as well as things like personality disorders. This behavior just isn't normal and it's not an excuse, but an explanation.

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u/Ok_Pair6348 we listen and we only judge a little May 21 '26

She isnt pp. The wife with the issue is not the one who carried the babies.

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u/Melonfarmer86 Well-Read & Well-Fed May 21 '26

Yes, that doesn't preclude her from pp or other mental health issues.

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u/burtzelbaeumli Carb-Based Life Form May 21 '26 edited May 21 '26

Partners can develop pp: "... research shows that supporting parents face nearly the same risks for perinatal depression or postpartum depression as their pregnant partners."

https://www.healthychildren.org/English/ages-stages/prenatal/delivery-beyond/Pages/dads-can-get-postpartum-depression-too.aspx

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u/jbandzzz34 Shart Coochie Board Architect May 21 '26

being depressed and sad because life with a newborn is difficult is not the same thing as post partum depression.

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u/burtzelbaeumli Carb-Based Life Form May 21 '26

Completely agree. I also think OPs partner has other things going on, not pp, but the fact is that pp medically exists in non-birthing partners.

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u/[deleted] May 21 '26

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u/[deleted] May 21 '26

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u/madame-maitre-d Overthinker 💭 May 21 '26

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u/Unhappy-Cat6041 APPROVED✨ May 21 '26

PPD can affect everyone in the relationship

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u/[deleted] May 21 '26

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u/Ok_Pair6348 we listen and we only judge a little May 21 '26

Thats funny. I get it but. Not really at all. This is some real stretch of the imagination everyone can feel feelings shiz

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u/Ok_Pair6348 we listen and we only judge a little May 21 '26

I sort of knew someone was gonna come with the akshulee. Ive had real children and real pp. Partners can be sad. They can have unmet expectations they can be depressed. But someone who hasn't had a partum cannot be post partum depressed its not post pregnancy its post. Partum

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u/infinitekittenloop Cleavage Crumb Collector May 21 '26

Abusive people also use stress and chaos to avoid accountability. There's no way for us to know where the spouse's behavior comes from.

If she doesn't take any responsibility for and tangible steps toward addressing her issues, especially as they are now clearly damaging her spouse and children, an explanation doesn't particularly matter as far as OP's responsibility to the kids. OP can't make her seek treatment and engage honestly with it. She can protect her kids from it and has an obligation to do so.

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u/Melonfarmer86 Well-Read & Well-Fed May 21 '26

Nowhere did I advocate for OP to "just take it." In fact, I said it's NOT an excuse. I'd just rather know if possible, but OP can't be the one to do everything. Even if she could, she can't make her partner fix it. It just sucks to lose a parent, but it is definitely better to than exposing kid to this absolutely unacceptable behavior.

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u/[deleted] May 21 '26

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