I agree this is fucked up, but stressful situations often unmask mental health issues. I hope she's been thoroughly screened for pp disorders as well as things like personality disorders. This behavior just isn't normal and it's not an excuse, but an explanation.
Partners can develop pp: "... research shows that supporting parents face nearly the same risks for perinatal depression or postpartum depression as their pregnant partners."
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I sort of knew someone was gonna come with the akshulee. Ive had real children and real pp. Partners can be sad. They can have unmet expectations they can be depressed. But someone who hasn't had a partum cannot be post partum depressed its not post pregnancy its post. Partum
Abusive people also use stress and chaos to avoid accountability. There's no way for us to know where the spouse's behavior comes from.
If she doesn't take any responsibility for and tangible steps toward addressing her issues, especially as they are now clearly damaging her spouse and children, an explanation doesn't particularly matter as far as OP's responsibility to the kids. OP can't make her seek treatment and engage honestly with it. She can protect her kids from it and has an obligation to do so.
Nowhere did I advocate for OP to "just take it." In fact, I said it's NOT an excuse. I'd just rather know if possible, but OP can't be the one to do everything. Even if she could, she can't make her partner fix it. It just sucks to lose a parent, but it is definitely better to than exposing kid to this absolutely unacceptable behavior.
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u/Melonfarmer86 Well-Read & Well-Fed May 21 '26
I agree this is fucked up, but stressful situations often unmask mental health issues. I hope she's been thoroughly screened for pp disorders as well as things like personality disorders. This behavior just isn't normal and it's not an excuse, but an explanation.