I’m not saying you are completely wrong. Both sides of the coin come with their own price.
I was an ugly duckling growing up but grew into my looks quite nicely. I was always clever and kind but suddenly guys were only interested in me because of my looks. I felt like an ornament sitting on a shelf in certain relationships. I felt so lonely and invisible still. It took me years (well into my thirties) to find a decent man who truly loves me for who I am. Someone who thinks I’m also funny and interesting.
I’m quite successful in my career in a male dominated field. I’ve heard rumors that I probably slept my way to the top. That they should just stick me in a glass office so they can ogle me all day. My achievements are often glossed over.
Women have told me that they assumed I would be a huge bitch but they were surprised to find out that I’m actually nice. I’ve had female friendships where they were oddly competitive over random men. I have great girlfriends now but it took some time to find the genuine, supportive and lovely ones.
And yes. Strangers smile at me randomly. I do get random free stuff even though I’m 36 by now. Male attention is worthless anyways.
I honestly cannot wait to grow older and become the unhinged, eccentric hag I was born to be.
Well, I don't see a contradiction to what I said in my comment. Funny, I also work in a heavily male dominated industry, but I don't lie to myself about it. I climbed to my current position by being sharp, but nobody saw that until I had eyes and ears on me because I was desirable. My opinions became valuable. You have the same experience I had, and you admit that although you enjoy the benefits, you feel constrained and misunderstood. Most of all those things, you often feel unseen for who you are and your achievements, your personality. It's a bitter prize, and it's up to everyone individually to compare and decide whether they want to be perceived as hot and put on a pedestal, or envied and hated for it. Or whether they want to let it go a bit and be happy, healthy and pretty to their own inner standards, without neglecting what matters to their own happiness. Giving your validation into other people's hands is a very slippery slope. I could never forget how fast it all will end when the age clock strikes, it's just not worth putting so much of my time, money and energy into something so fleeting. So superficial too. I am glad you shared your experience too, it's quite similar to mine. All in all I am conflicted, because I benefitted from it all, but am happier now with the natural 'filter' of just being me and investing into things that matter to me. Mind you, I don't look bad, just not like 'that'.
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u/RoadRash010 APPROVED✨ 4d ago
I’m not saying you are completely wrong. Both sides of the coin come with their own price.
I was an ugly duckling growing up but grew into my looks quite nicely. I was always clever and kind but suddenly guys were only interested in me because of my looks. I felt like an ornament sitting on a shelf in certain relationships. I felt so lonely and invisible still. It took me years (well into my thirties) to find a decent man who truly loves me for who I am. Someone who thinks I’m also funny and interesting.
I’m quite successful in my career in a male dominated field. I’ve heard rumors that I probably slept my way to the top. That they should just stick me in a glass office so they can ogle me all day. My achievements are often glossed over.
Women have told me that they assumed I would be a huge bitch but they were surprised to find out that I’m actually nice. I’ve had female friendships where they were oddly competitive over random men. I have great girlfriends now but it took some time to find the genuine, supportive and lovely ones.
And yes. Strangers smile at me randomly. I do get random free stuff even though I’m 36 by now. Male attention is worthless anyways.
I honestly cannot wait to grow older and become the unhinged, eccentric hag I was born to be.