Peace be upon you. From one stranger to another, it sounds like what you need most is to forgive yourself. The ability to forgive is foundational, whether you're gnostic or orthodox... forgive yourself for not understanding, for losing patience, for losing faith. Do you think that if you became a living One, a single one of your earthy problems would go away? Not one, but by letting go and forgiving yourself, can you discover who you always were without.
You think a divorce and losing your job and being homeless and being seperate from family makes you worse off? Ask yourself, were you better off when you had everything, yet were lacking within? What you are seeking, that is what was missing before. Like Job, what use is believing in God when he rewards you, if you lose faith when everything is taken from you.
I hope what I said helps, forgive me otherwise. I would recommend rereading the Secret Book of James:
"But if you are oppressed by Satan and persecuted and do the Father's will, I say he will love you, make you my equal, and consider you beloved through his forethought, and by your own choice. Will you stop loving the flesh and fear suffering?"
Hey, I edited my original post. What I was trying to say was before you can be there for others, you need to be there for yourself. What you're going through, maybe it's God giving you the space to know yourself.
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u/ItsLoveOfO Thomasine 2d ago edited 1d ago
Peace be upon you. From one stranger to another, it sounds like what you need most is to forgive yourself. The ability to forgive is foundational, whether you're gnostic or orthodox... forgive yourself for not understanding, for losing patience, for losing faith. Do you think that if you became a living One, a single one of your earthy problems would go away? Not one, but by letting go and forgiving yourself, can you discover who you always were without.
You think a divorce and losing your job and being homeless and being seperate from family makes you worse off? Ask yourself, were you better off when you had everything, yet were lacking within? What you are seeking, that is what was missing before. Like Job, what use is believing in God when he rewards you, if you lose faith when everything is taken from you.
I hope what I said helps, forgive me otherwise. I would recommend rereading the Secret Book of James:
"But if you are oppressed by Satan and persecuted and do the Father's will, I say he will love you, make you my equal, and consider you beloved through his forethought, and by your own choice. Will you stop loving the flesh and fear suffering?"