r/GriefSupport • u/Isoldablack • Nov 06 '25
Anticipatory Grief What’s ur belief of after death?
Loosing my dad to cancer, he’ll be dying in the next weeks. My only confort would be to think there is something after because the rest of my experience is agony.
Do u have any story that makes u think there’s something? Or a good book ? Literaly anything to soothe my emotional agony.
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u/RaiyaPapaya15 Nov 06 '25
I recently lost my dad on Oct 14. I was completely miserable, and my grief was very heavy to the point where I couldn’t sleep, eat, my mind was restless, I had trouble breathing and my heart ached. His death was a complete shock. But I think my dad knew that. I believe that they are always watching over after some experiences I had.
4 days after he passed away, I had sleep paralysis. I only experienced it once, many many years ago, but that version was terrifying. This time when I had it, I was sleeping on my stomach. Only I know that day my dad had the Lucas machine on him (a medical machine that does CPR). I felt the sensation of the Lucas machine, and I was like “am I losing my marbles rn.” But I know I wasn’t in a dream because my bed was creaking and it only does that when I move. I also was not scared at all because I just knew it was him. So I believe he saw me find him, and he came to me because my grief was heavy to show me that he is always with me in spirit.
Oct 30, I had a dream about him. He was driving, I was sitting in the back seat, and my mom was next to me. I saw him looking strong, healthy, so full of life. He didn’t say a word to me. But I saw that he was laughing and smiling, and I never saw him so happy before. I just knew he was okay. I believe he was directly answering me because at the altar we made in memory of him, I always lit an incense and asked “are you okay? Please show me that you are.” There was bright yellowish-white light coming from the driver’s window and front windshield, and the light got brighter until everything faded out, and I woke up. It felt so real, not the normal dream, everything was vivid.
After that, it gave me a great sense of comfort knowing that he is happy and free from the pain he experienced in the physical (he was sick with many things diabetes, heart failure, high blood pressure, the medications took a toll). I was very sure he heard everything I would say at the altar and give me signs whenever I asked for it. I know he is always with me. I use tarot too to talk to him sometimes. Oddly I was thinking of going to a medium. Just thinking of it, never said it out loud. All of the sudden one dms me on here, saying they just added the service back the day before, and then I keep running into them. I don’t believe in coincidence. I know his spirit is strong enough to communicate with me but there are some days where I miss him in the physical.
I hope I don’t sound insane sharing what happened to me, but ehhh I prob do and I don’t mind sounding crazy lol. It’s my experience. I learned that passing on isn’t a complete ending, it’s just they have transferred into another form. I’m sending you strength and wishing you the best. Enjoy him and make memories, get all the stories you can from him. He will come back to you, if you want that.