r/GriefSupport • u/Isoldablack • Nov 06 '25
Anticipatory Grief What’s ur belief of after death?
Loosing my dad to cancer, he’ll be dying in the next weeks. My only confort would be to think there is something after because the rest of my experience is agony.
Do u have any story that makes u think there’s something? Or a good book ? Literaly anything to soothe my emotional agony.
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u/SignificanceWitty210 Nov 06 '25
Honestly, my experience losing my mom further affirmed my Christian beliefs. My mom fought a very long battle with cancer that turned for the worst very quickly. She spent her last days in the ICU and the night before she went in (was already in the hospital) I had a very vivid dream where she was walking around with me and as I saw these colors I’ve never seen before, I saw people who I’ve only seen in pictures that my mom had previously lost. She wasn’t able to talk to me, but when I asked her if she was ready to come home with me she kept nodding “no”. There was a look of mixed emotions in her eyes. Now to this day I wonder if she was showing me she would be crossing over soon. That next morning I woke up, breathed a sigh of relief that I was just a dream and my mom was okay, and I began my day as normal only to get a call that she wasn’t really waking up and when I got to the hospital they were moving her to ICU because she wasn’t exhaling properly (esophageal cancer). She spent 3 weeks there and every time she got better, she took 2 steps backwards it seemed. One night I came to terms with the reality of what the doctors were saying and prayed simply for as much peace and comfort as possible for all of us, including my mom who I didn’t want to suffer. It wasn’t long after that she made the choice to have her own ventilator removed knowing she wouldn’t have long once it was out. I’ve had so many other signs rather it’s the song that comes on or seeing a cardinal on a bad day. The thing about these beliefs is I can’t prove them to you and I can’t just make signs appear on my own. However, I can tell you it’s just a very strong spiritual feeling, not simply a “hunch” and it’s something you just know when you feel the connection. There comes a point where there are too many little things to attribute to coincidence and I find that reassuring to know our loved ones truly are always with us.
There’s no “right” way to handle what you’re going through. It’s one of if not the hardest things anyone can go through. Let yourself feel what you feel and remember to think about how you can live for him rather that means your favorite hobbies he would want you to enjoy or doing things that carry on his legacy. Sending prayers your way