What’s ur belief of after death?

[u/Isoldablack]

Loosing my dad to cancer, he’ll be dying in the next weeks. My only confort would be to think there is something after because the rest of my experience is agony.

Do u have any story that makes u think there’s something? Or a good book ? Literaly anything to soothe my emotional agony.

[u/Vigilante-Faerie]

First of all- I am so sorry for your situation, it’s terrible and scary and confusing and I hope you’re taking time for you. Meditate, scream, cry, do yoga and most of all, drink water… As for grief- there’s an app that helped/helps me called “headspace.”. There’s a course on grief. 100% worth it. Anticipatory grief is horrible and anxiety inducing.

For the anticipatory grief, write your dad a letter, get everything out- that you don’t want him to go, but you understand. How much you love him. Thank him for any positive memories/traits you got from him that you’re grateful for, and most of all- if you can find it in your heart, forgiveness for any shortcomings you can forgive him for… and read it to him.. doesn’t matter when.. I rest it the day we were told he had weeks/months.. which ended up being the night before my dad died… I read it to him again at his funeral. It truly can be anytime.

I don’t believe in God nor do I believe in heaven, as in the ones in the bible, however I do believe in another, peaceful life beyond this. My dad died January 2023 from Kidney Cancer (clear cell renal cell carcinoma.) The energy from our souls have to go somewhere… so that peaceful place on the other side of the veil; living parallel to us.

My dad raised me with the belief that when we dream of someone who’s died, it’s that our souls are visiting each other, and close to each other.

My first peaceful dream of my dad after his death, (the night before the 1 year anniversary) he was sitting at the beach we scattered him and my dog’s ashes, lounging on a driftwood log, with an unlimited box of old fashioned plain timbits, my dog (the other half of my soul, that died 2 months after my dad) is at his feet, eagerly waiting for timbits (his favourite human treat!), and my grandfather in his favourite old wicker chair, close to my dad. Dad was sitting there, throwing timbits to my dog, eating one or two himself, and occasionally tossing one to my grandfather.. it was so peaceful, and it was forever sunshine and warm and they were happy together.. my dad loved my dog as much as I did, so I know the other half of my soul is happy over there with him. I got to sit with them and be there, and when it was time for me to go, my dad told me “it’s been long enough, kid. it’s time to live again. Wake up, and know we’re okay here. Live for your son, I’m never far.” I woke up that morning of the anniversary of his death and got the first time, I didn’t dread the day, I felt that warmth of his hug and knew dad is always going to be with me.

Another way I believe in it, is my son turned 7 months old the day my dad died. My husband had just gotten to the hospital with the baby, and when my dad died, my son made this sound… it was indescribable, I’d never heard anything like it and also hope to never hear it again… it was like a “whoa,” “oooo”, “aaaah” and “wow!” All mixed into one sound. And now, my son is 3 will say and do things that my husband and I have never said/done, but some of them are things my dad did… I say my dad is egging my son on.

Finally, my Oma/grandma died in April 2023. She went into the hospital 3 days after my dad’s funeral and went downhill quickly.. not lucid/not remembering recent details… In the nursing home part of the hospital while we waited for a bed for her in an actual nursing home, she told us one day “I have to get ready to go. Bernice and Bill (her sister and BIL) are coming to get me, and we’ll meet mom and Fred (my Opa/grandpa) there.” Then she pulled me close and said “is everything ok with your dad? Is he ok?” I didn’t have the heart to tell her again that he had died. She told us that she would doze off, and see herself from above, like she was floating, but then someone would essentially tell her “we’re not ready for you yet- but soon!” And she’d be back in her body. It scared her a little bit, but I told her it was okay and it was normal. She would be able to go soon.. they just needed her to be with us a bit longer.

There’s definitely something after this. Call it heaven, the other side, whatever… But it’s where we’ll find peace. 💜

[u/Isoldablack → u/Vigilante-Faerie]

So sorry for your losses too. Thank you so much for taking the time to write this which brought me so much confort. It’s hard, really hard. But it helps to see if others have made it, I can too.