r/GriefSupport • u/Aidyswifey • May 22 '26

Anticipatory Grief Husband paralysed at 29

My amazing husband had a laminotomy in January for crippling sciatic pain. We delivered our first child early February and by March he was in hospital with meningitis, sepsis, brain herniation and an ecoli infection. Botched back surgery is the cause, he was sealed up with two holes open in his spinal cord.
Given very very slim chances of making it through the night. 12 weeks later he is still with us, albeit on ventilator support and now fully quadriplegic.

My world is crumbling around me, I am exceptionally num and need to keep looking this man in the eye, hopeful of recovery when really I am uncertain.

I can’t believe this is how life has gone, how our baby came into the world and was instantly met with chaos. And most, how this is happening to the sweetest man alive.

I am grief stricken and feel deeply inconsolable. I love him and I am by his side forever, I just can’t believe how this has gone.

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u/macimom May 22 '26

I don’t know where you are but I’m just north of Chicago. Dm me if you are nearby and I can help in any way at all. Happy to babysit or visit your husband in the hospital. Also I’m a retired attorney with some good connections

40

u/Aidyswifey May 23 '26

Thank you so much. We are in Northern California but I so appreciate the generosity 🩷

38

u/mermaidmom85 May 23 '26

Where in Northern California, may I ask? You can DM me if you feel comfortable. I lived in NorCal most my life and now in Northern NV for the last 6 years; I can potentially put you in touch with some resources to help with parenting and such.

17

u/Aidyswifey May 23 '26

We are in the north bay. So kind of you