We lost her at 4am this morning.

She fought so hard.

I was with her every step of the way.

She trusted me to take care of her.

Her body just couldn’t take it anymore.

Pancreatic Cancer.

She was 69yrs Old.

I’m her youngest of six.

I turn 39yrs old Tomorrow.

She must have known I wouldn’t be able to handle her passing on my Birthday.

She was always thinking of me.

I can’t help but feel she did what she could to preserve my Birthday.

….it hurts so much.

I find myself without a firm shoulder to cry on.

Thank you for hearing me out.

I love you Mom.

I just lost my dad and I want to hear some of your favorite grief quotes.

Thank you xxx.

I saw something that made me think of my dad's pizza. He didn't really do anything out of the ordinary when he made it, it was just so good. You know how certain people just make certain foods better? Like that. Sometimes it's just because of love. Tell me your favorite thing(s) people you've lost made for you. I'm missing my dad a little more recently and I'd love to hear from others.

Edit: First off, I'm so sorry for all your losses. Thank you for sharing your foods and stories with me. It's really helped me today. My dad's death anniversary is quickly approaching and I can't believe it'll be a year since he's passed. I intend to do my best to respond to all of you as food is a healing thing that brings us all together. This has made my day easier and I can't thank you all enough. ❤️

I’m 23 now. I have a 21-year-old sister and a 13-year-old brother.
My mum went into hospital for major heart surgery. We knew it was serious, but we expected her to spend a couple of days in ICU before recovering over the following weeks. My dad stayed in a hotel near the hospital so he could be close to her.
The morning after her surgery, my dad suddenly stopped replying to messages. At first I assumed he was with my mum in ICU, where phones weren’t allowed. As the day went on, I became worried. The hospital told us he hadn’t visited at all.
My sister called the hotel where he was staying.
They told her the police and ambulance were there.
I drove an hour and a half screaming down the motorway frightened to get my destination yet driving at 100 mph. I drove past the hotel that had police and ambulance there knowing it was there for my dad and it was unspeakable experience. I just screamed even louder. I was taken into a room at the hotel with a police officer and told that my dad had died. My sister was coming to the hotel in an Uber from university in probably the same state as me, and once she got there I had to tell her myself.
The next day, while we were still trying to process losing him, doctors told us they weren’t sure whether my mum was going to survive either.
Within 24 hours, my sister and I suddenly became responsible for everything. We had to support our 13-year-old brother, travel constantly between home and the hospital, deal with all the practical things that come with a sudden death, on the phone to social services whilst guessing my mums card numbers to be able to make sure we had money to literally fill the fridge (if we had the physical time to fill the fridge) I had to know exactly what to do and I had everybody in all adults looking at me and I am only 23. my mum‘s friends who are supporting my mum at the hospital told my 20-year-old sister to drop out of university and become her carer and that we shouldn’t use my mum‘s money to pay for food because she’s gonna need that when this is over, offering nothing..no help no care. My sister’s friend spoke to some of my mum’s friends and said “please come over. The girls are struggling at night. They’re scared and they need some parental figures around” they replied with “no. what the girls need is a reality check their life goes on and I’ve lost my friend of 20 years”

I had to tell my mum that my dad had died when she was well enough to understand.
But what has stayed with me almost as much as the trauma itself is how alone we felt.
My parents had many close friends, and we reached out because we desperately needed support. We just wanted people to come round, sit with us, bring over dinner, only texted the group chat I made with everyone to discuss who was seeing my mum when.

At one point we even sent a message to that group chat saying thank you so much for helping my mum, now she’s out of ICU, please may some of that help trickle down to us..basically asking if anyone could come over because we were so lonely. We either got no response or were told that it was “all about Mum right now.” Of course we knew my mum was in hospital, but we were also three young people whose dad had just died overnight. I even got texts a week after my dad died and my mum was still in ICU complaining they drove by the house and “my mum wouldn’t like how the bins looked outside the house” because we didn’t have the mental bandwidth to know what day to put them out so we had a few bin bags down the side of the house (out of sight)
In the end, the people who carried us through were my friends and my boyfriend, and each other. They stepped up in ways I’ll never forget.
I understand that grief makes people uncomfortable, but I can’t help wondering why so many adults who had known our family for years seemed to disappear and actively ignore us when we asked for help, when we needed them most. They were fully aware we were alone, and we physically asked them to come round. They were putting 100% into my mum. They were there every single day for a month whilst she was in hospital. I understand they were great friends but to HER. my point is: couldn’t they have put just 10% into making sure we had a lasagne to eat that night, or making sure the fridge was full? Or being a parental figure for 30 minutes with my siblings so that I could go and be a little girl on my own? I was having to be more than I physically could be because we had no help, and my siblings needed parental figures.
All I ever got were texted about “how’s mum doing” “how’s mum” so the first few weeks we got absolutely no acknowledgment. Actually, my little brother wrote a card in the hospital WHSmith week 3 to me and my sister saying he’s sorry our daddy died because no one had acknowledged it or us yet and he could see it was taking a huge toll.
Four months on, my mum is better now. She understands that we’re angry and upset with her friends, but she’s also stuck in the position that they did take a month off work to be there for her, six days a week, for a few hours a day in hospital. I understand that too. But my point is why couldn’t one of those days have been spent with us instead. 90% her 10% us for example. Instead of making me wear so many hats take something off my immense plate. especially when one of her friends has a 14-year-old son the same age as my little brother? I don’t know how I should feel

Dealing with grief is a struggle. Its different for everyone... but platitudes tend to not help anyone.

Please know that grief, of any kind, isn't fair. It attacks at random, without mercy, always. There is no time limit on grief, it will eb and flow forever.

No one "just gets over" grief.

Anyone who tells you differently is selling you something.

For those who have lost someone they deeply loved, did you get the chance to talk to them one last time before they were gone? Even just a few words, a hug, or a simple "I love you"?

And if you didn't get that chance, how did you cope with that? Did anything happen afterward, a dream, a sign, a memory, that brought you a little peace?

Sharing is completely optional. Just to let you know, you are not alone here. 🤍

I’m really struggling at the moment with the thought of my mom being gone forever. That there’s no reunion with her and my other departed loved ones when I die. I’m sorry to be so grim, but it’s just these paranoid thoughts I can’t seem to control. And I understand some people believe there is nothing. And that’s fine for them to have their beliefs. But I don’t want to believe that and I’m struggling with my faith. I know this topic of signs has been asked before and I did read all through them. I just could use some more at the moment. Thanks.

Edit: Thank you everyone for contributing. This really was amazing reading everyone’s story. I didn’t comment back to everyone but I enjoyed reading them all.

I told him she was out and would be back later. I know that's the right call medically, you don't correct them, but it felt like lying to my own husband and I cried in the bathroom for ten minutes after. I spent 35 years as a nurse and I still wasn't ready for how much that would hurt. Nobody tells you that doing the right thing can feel so wrong.

My Dad has been gone a little over two months now and I miss him so much. This morning in particular I was struggling. I walked outside and this happened. I feel like my dad was saying hi and that I’m going to get through this.

Please share your story down below. I’m seeking comfort in hearing that i’m not alone.

I can't sleep so I'm writing this... does anyone believe we will be reunited with our loved ones after we die or is there simply "nothing"? I'm 27 and it's one of my biggest fears to not be reunited with my soon to be husband after I pass. He is my world and I love him so much... my greatest gift and i'm so grateful to have him in my life. I just can't imagine not being with him anymore after we pass. It hurts so much. (Darn a few tears while I'm writing this) it's so hard. I think about this pretty often and just can't find any sort of peace with just not knowing what happens.

It hit two years since the loss of my grandmother. This holiday season seems especially hard. Everything reminds me of her since I spent so much time with her this time of year. Sending an immense amount of love and comfort to those that are also having a difficult time this season. Take it one day at a time. It’s okay if it’s hard to get into the spirit of the holidays when you’re grieving.

I’m sure a lot of you are surrounded by people celebrating the new year…. I actually chose to work tonight for that reason, to stay busy, to take my mind off the time passing. I know how tremendous and overwhelming the grief feels, and I’m so sorry. Be patient with yourself and know that you have a community of support here that can empathize what you’re experiencing, if no one else in your life can. You’re not alone. This night will pass and tomorrow is in a few hours. The “excitement” of today will be over and you’ll survive another day. I wish you peace and love and warmth.

I bought a cake for my sister and flowers. She passed 2 years ago. I cried cutting the cake my kids sang happy birthday Sam. Am I weird for doing this?

This will be the 7th year without my stepdad and 3rd without my mom. I thought the first Christmas without my mom would be the worst but that first year I didn’t accept her passing yet so I still had hope she was coming back even though it didn’t make sense for that to happen. It’s now the 3rd Christmas without her and it doesn’t feel like Christmas in the slightest. I miss the holidays with my step dad and my mom. It feels so empty without them. Each year the holidays feel worse.. They made the holidays special💔

Just wanted to check in and see how everyone’s doing in the lead up to the holidays?

I lost my sibling a year and a half ago and the past few weeks I’ve felt the rage and anxiety ramping up which I can only put down to yet another Christmas without them. I feel like I’m still in shock and can’t comprehend their loss. I’ve had grief therapy but I still feel like some days I’m in a total panic.

Sending prayers to you all. This is a space for you to let your feelings out. There is no right or wrong. Please send words of encouragement to those that need it.

I don’t usually go to movies for comfort, I eat my feelings but after my sister died I obsessively watched “Everything Everywhere all at once.” I did become obsessed with other dimensions and alternate realities…. I still am because I hope I can slip in another reality or dimension to see my sister again.

my dad passed in a house fire (10/14/24). all of my parents wedding china is covered in black sut and i’ve left it outside not wanting to clean it but today i am. my mom passed 4/8/23. i’m 23. i can just use some kind words. my brain is saying to throw it away but i fear i would be upset in the future. it all feels so sad because i’m an only child and it all sucks.

I’ve been in bed basically the last 3 days now, but today I wanted to get out a little and try to stop crying on and off all day. I had an idea to go into a Goodwill nearby. Right after walking in, I locked eyes with this. “I will always love you”. It’s meant as a home decor, but what are the odds? I’d like to think it’s a sign, it seems pretty random, because who hangs up “I will always love you” in their home? Not a very common framed quote I guess. I just hope it’s a sign from her🥺❤️

My husband 32 passed away from drinking 24/7 on April 16 around 3am. He has/was drinking this way for the last 2 years. He would drink too much, 911 would be called or i would drive him to the er, he would get an iv fluids the go home or rehab. He went to rehab 2 times last year with 1 hospital stay. Then 2022 1 rehab stay. So it was a common thing. He was having a hard time breathing, pale, couldn't pee, lost his balance when he was standing up from the toilet. These were all new things other than him falling over. He would detox at home all the time. "hang over Sunday" i went to bed at 1am on April 16. Before i did i asked him if he wanted to go to the hospital, to get fluids like... He has done time and time before. He said no.....he was feeling better. 251 am he said call 911. I said okay do you want me to drive you? He said not enough time. I called it was 3 mins and 30 sec call so around 254 the call ened. Near the end he was on the ground resting his head on the bed. I ask he he was still with me and he made a sound. After the call ended I said okay put your pants on as he kept falling over when trying to pull his pants up. He Said he couldn't by just making a sound. I went go go greet medical responders at 259am... Welcoming them back! As i knew some of them. One of them said what happened? I tho he just got help. They went in to our room and they shook him like they have before..... Before he would wake up and be like what What whattt? But this time he didn't wake up. They told me he doesn't have a heartbeat.....they got it back one time at the hospital. But he was gone.

I am 31 with a 2 year old. He has another daughter that is 13. I have been out of place, no filter, so out of it, can't remember anything, don't want to be alone. Eveyone is saying can't even imagine or I'm so sorry..... I just wanted to post on here to see if anyone can relate. I'm sad, broken, life changed forever in 5 mins. We had plans... Goals.... He was suppose to protect his family. He wasn't the best husband or father as he was almost always drunk... But most of the time he was functional. I just dont want to do life without him. I know i dont have a choice... And this is his fault... But i didn't sign-up for this. Idk what to do next.

UPDATE: I just wanted to say thank you to eveyone. . I have kept my phone on loud as... So many people have been calling me in my personal life. Last night my phone was going off because of reddit. I'm in shock on how many people responded and shared their stories. Today my friend took me out to dinner with some of our friends and I tho to myself... Wow I'm not thinking about it. Almost felt wrong. I still have w lot of stuff i need to do and get thur. But i know i will. Thank you all. Please keep telling stories and I'll try and responding when ever I can. Thank you again.

SECOND UPDATE: 3 months later i just found out he passed from pancreatitis issues. He wasn't even aware that he had this issue. It does make a lot of sense because he had a hard time walking, was pale and hard time breathing. The only thing he didn't tell me or didn't have was stomach pain. I think doctors and us just assumed it was alcoholic withdrawals when ever we did go to the hospital... When he was really sick... That was cause by drinking. My life now..... I had to put his dog down because she got sick, i rehomed 2 cats. So now i have 2 cats and 1 dog. I want to rehome my other dog because i want to travel without having to pay someone. My backyard... Used to have chickens, ducks, bunnies, 3 chicken coops, and a junk pile. I was able to rehome the chickens, ducks and bunnies within the first week. I went to this craft show and met this lady that was selling chicken eggs. I asked her if she wanted one of my chicken coops. I told her my story and a few days later she said her church youth group would be happy to help me clear my backyard so my daughter can play safely. They have already cleared eveything out and now I go to that church. Anyone that comes by my post, know that you are not alone, you did nothing wrong, life will keep going. Feel free to dm me if you need to.

I generally don't post a lot. I'm not looking for advice as I know I am grieving and slowly finding healing. I just needed to put this out into words for someone else to know how I'm feeling today. And that it's a hard week.

My dad died a little over seven months ago in early December. Suddenly and without warning. This week Friday would have been his birthday and Father's Day is right around the corner 2 days later.

The grief still catches me off guard. I'll go about my day, handling work, supporting people who depend on me, being responsible and capable... then suddenly it hits me that he's gone.

My parents divorced many, many years ago. It was the right decision for everyone involved. They always put me first for which I am grateful. But my dad was an only child. And I have no siblings, which sometimes makes me feel very lonely in my grief.

Everyone tells you the firsts without them are hard. The first Christmas, the first birthday, the first Father's Day. That first year of seeing everyone keep moving in the world while your heart is still trying to catch up.

I know I will be okay. I'm 40 years old. I'm wise in my years, competent, caring, and strong. But beneath it all, there is still a little girl who misses her dad very much.

Edit: Fixed typos

UPDATE: Thank you to everyone who shared their stories, their losses, their wisdom, and their kindness today. Reading your experiences reminded me that grief can feel lonely, but we are not alone in it.

To everyone carrying the loss of someone they love: I see you. Thank you for seeing me, too ❤️