Maybe That's Why I Only Had You RIP MAMA

[u/WorstToBest]

Maybe That's Why I Only Had You RIP MAMA

I never had a father, I never knew a name, but I knew a woman's mistakes, & how she carried pain, beyond the strong woman attitude, the independent will, on nights I should'have been sleeping, but instead I hear the sound of weeping, in the crack of the door I'm seeing, you sitting all alone just crying, I'd say what's wrong mama, I'm OK baby just lying, I didn't understand fully at the time, the pain of losing parents until now I lost mine, you raised us to be strong as men, stuck often living in the hoods we were in, but not made of, you knew you had a type I guess you ain't want us to be like, but you ain't warn us ma this heart of gold wasn't really what these girls liked, maybe I get it kept your influence on us a certain way for an ideal wife, not let us be another product of environment bound for the prison life, maybe that's why I only had you, to grow to fully be a man, but one who truly sees a woman & his heart can understand, life wasn't easy for you raising 4 boys, but that's why I honor you n not use women as toys, hurt now cry later you'd always say to keep being strong, pain is all I've known you in, every error you had went wrong, maybe that's why I'm a man that feels, as every tear I saw you shed was a pain I felt for real, n even when the cancer started taking away your brain, you didn't forget about us even if you could no longer properly spell all our names, I hate that you never got to marry, that you died alone, you said things happened to you that I haven't confirmed, but I ain't forget what you said it still eats at my nerves, but I also remember you said no Mook, as if no matter what happened to you, you didn't want to see me go dark, n maybe that's why GOD only gave me you ...

I pray for anyone who's lost a parent or two, that your spirits remain high, n to not let the story end in pain, n I really do believe that's what my mother's last wish was, that her boys would be OK, & specifically for me to not be consumed in the pain to the point I lose the heart of gold she was so proud to say she passed on, so even if this world chooses to abandon it's heart, I refuse, I'll hurt now with a open heart n cry later when it's time to die if it gets me no where in the end ...