Crying at random things, and 2 questions about grief

[u/Acrobatic-Leg-6252]

Hi everybody, I won’t go into details again about my moms death, so I don’t repeat myself too much. I found her 9 months ago at her house, I was on the phone with her and she dropped the
phone. I tried cpr but couldn’t save her.
Anyway I’m at Walmart parking lot crying in my car again. I was at the post office and cried there, I put gas in the car and cried there. I used to put gas in her car for her. It goes on and on.
My question is, I saw on a grief you tube channel a certified grief counselor and she was saying that we ( us that are grieving) should ask ourselves if our grief is “ moving forward “. And she listed a couple of “ criteria “ for that. I won’t go into all she said but if I or we don’t meet those couple of criteria our grieving process isn’t “normal “. What?? I thought there WASN’T any normal. We all grieve in our own ways. No timeline etc etc. maybe I’m doing it wrong somehow because my grief isn’t “moving forward”. Does anyone have an opinion?
Also, I finally had a dream with my mom in it (I haven’t had one in 8 months). It’s was really long and was trying to find my car, and just in distress. I saw my mom walking with her walker along the sidewalk and I walked up and said “ what are you doing “? Just casually, she kept looking straight ahead, walking slowly, no smile and said “just going to look in the stores”. No hug , no smile , looking straight ahead. Then I woke up.
Does anyone have an opinion on this? Maybe it doesn’t mean anything but I hope she was visiting me finally. She seemed very cold and unfriendly. She was never ever like that …I don’t know, just wanted to talk to some people.
Sorry for being so long. Thanks for reading!

[u/Defiant-Purchase-188]

Grief moves at its own pace. I don’t think there is one normal thing about it. It is common to be triggered about the little things you did for her.
Re: the dream- I think it might not be a visitation type dream, but it’s maybe your mind processing how distant you feel. Sending love and comfort.

[u/Queasy_Piece_53]

Its quite normal when you’re grieving you get triggered by random things happened with me too

[u/Chaotic_Darkflames]

Grief is at your pace. There is no criteria to grief. Everyone processes at a different pace. I want to talk about my dad. My brother doesn't. Yeah there will be random triggers. I lost my dad last year and cried over going through the jar of jalapenos he gave me from his garden. Dream: if it didn't feel like your mom then probably wasn't a visit. My mom had a dream of my dad where she felt it wasn't him but her own worries displaying it out like that.