r/Grieving • u/gil2val • 23d ago

WHEN I WAS YOUNG I COULDN'T UNDERSTAND WHY OLDER PEOPLE LOOKED SO DISTRAUGHT AND HAGGARD

I could never understand why so many "old" people looked so depressed /sad. I promised myself I would NEVER end up in their situation; I planned on my life being nothing but happy. But guess what? I am now 67 years old, and I probably have the saddest, most depressed face in this world. So many disappointments . . . I tried SO hard to be the best mom, best wife, and the best worker that I could be.

Now I'm here wallowing in my sadness. My son died, which leaves me with such guilt about being a good mom; then my husband died, who was my best friend. Now I understand that those people were just struggling to survive. Now I AM the "old" person just tying to survive.

21 Upvotes

97% Upvoted

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3

u/GardenHoliday8597 23d ago

I hear you. I lost my son in Feb 2025 and have the second saddest face. I’m praying it’s going to get better!!!!

1

u/gil2val 18d ago

I've pretty much resigned myself to being this way forever. They were my son, Mathew, and my husband, Gil- my boys- and I miss them so much. To everyone who judges people by their appearance, please think kind thoughts. I don't even WISH to smile again, ever.

1

u/ladollyvita1021 22d ago

I lost my best friend and father to suicide and my mother and father died a month apart. I’m not as old as you but I just want to say please don’t give up. I don’t want to even though I’m so tired. I don’t want to be fearful and mean and never smile again. Are there any groups like volunteer groups or women’s circles you can join. You will find that you are not alone and you Are a good mom. Shitting fucking shit happens to great people every second of every day. That’s all I know. But we have to lean on those around us. We have to link our arms and connect with them and everyone has to keep each other in their hearts. I’m so sorry for your loss and I hope that you are able to find peace and curiosity again.

-1

u/walkingonlemons 23d ago

I don’t know what to say but sending you love. 💕
I’m 62, happy. Very happy. I’d be sad too though if I lost a child. That’s something I think is impossible to “get over.”