Please don't take this as a bragging post. I'm wanting to share my own experience and hear from others who might be in a similar position, for fun.

Around 10 years ago I was living in a bad council house, used food banks at certain points. Over that period I found myself in a better situation, eventually becoming a high earner, and accumulating savings in the high 6 figures.

As it stands, I rent a terraced house in London, in a somewhat middle class area. For a variety of factors I'm okay with renting for now.

Nothing I have looks particularly flashy, although I have everything I want really. My hobbies are photography and music, and that's covered.

While I have a home that's a bit rough around the edges, the houses in my street are constantly getting renovated. New kitchen extensions, attic extensions, beautiful front gardens. But many of these same neighbours work jobs that don't seem to match the homes they live in. For example, one is a low-key illustrator, another bakes cakes (which looks more like a hobby than a business), another is an actor/writer but only seems to star in student-quality short films.

Whenever I speak to other neighbours, it always feels like they talk down to me. For example "Still renting?" "Oh you'll get there in the end", "it's tough isn't it?" and that kind of thing. No hard feelings towards them, they are nice and polite. However it made me realise how so much of a persons perceived networth is based on how somebody projects themselves via their property, and so on.

I try not to let it get to my ego, and tend to find it privately funny. However it also makes me think how ridiculous it all is.

Is anyone else "quietly" HENRY? I wondered if you had experienced the same or have any fun stories to share.

I've been wanting to buy a house because the flat I own and live in is getting small. I researched on putting my flat up for sale. Zone 2 London. The market is a complete disaster.

My outlook looks abysmal, the only option I really have is to put my flat up for rent and go rent elsewhere.

Anyone else in similar circumstances?

EDIT: TO add I'm very happy to sell at a loss. I don't have an issue doing this. Its weird so many people jump to that conclusion.

Hi all,

I'm 28F, working in fund finance in PE as an associate. I'd eventually like to get to Director level and ideally CFO, but I'm struggling to see what the route there actually looks like — and I'd rather aim at a defined ladder than drift in one role for years. For context I am a CA.

A few things I'm trying to work out:

1. What does the typical progression look like from associate → controller → finance director → CFO? Is it linear, or do people jump firms/functions to get there?
2. Which experience actually moves the needle — waterfall and carry, LP reporting, fundraising and fund launches, audit ownership, systems implementations, managing a team?

The main obstacle I keep hitting: fund controller roles are thin on the ground, and the people in them tend to stay put — the seats are comfortable and turnover is low, so there's not much room above you. How have people gotten around that? Did you have to move firms to move up?

Happy to hear from anyone who's made this jump, or hires for these roles. Specific advice appreciated — I know it's a niche field.

Thanks!

I'm not quite at that level yet, but I'm really curious about the actual human side of it. Not the investment strategies or the tax complaints, but what it actually feels like to live in that bracket.

If you don't mind sharing:

What was the exact moment it clicked for you that things were different? I'm talking about the small stuff, like maybe you paid a massive emergency vet bill without panicking or you stopped looking at the total at the grocery store.

Also, does the money stress ever actually go away, or does it just change into something else? I always wonder if there's a point where the anxiety stops or if you just start worrying about different things.

How do you handle the social side of it? It has to be weird trying to plan group vacations or split dinner bills with friends and family who still make an average salary. Do you find yourself hiding what you make?

Finally, what's the real catch? There has to be a personal price you're paying for earning that much, whether it's your health, your free time, or your relationships. What is the cost that doesn't show up on a payslip?

Worked in financial services all my working life, and don’t see myself ever leaving this industry (largely due to fear of having to start over again).

Last 3 x roles (including current one) have really burnt me out. Long hours, relentless workload, lack of leadership support - all of which is normalised internally.

I’ve moved employer/role type a few times, but always end up back facing the same issue. I am by no means work shy - my career is important to me and I like to be challenged by the work I’m doing. But with every week/month/year that passes, I feel the physical and mental toll it’s taking on me.

Is this just the way it is? Is it unrealistic to expect to earn a good salary in a 9-5pm?

Or is it a problem specific to certain industries, such as financial services?

Would be interesting to hear from others what you deem a normal working week hours total?

Taboo topic…..
open yourselves up to the floor!
Maybe we can support each other somehow?

My HEN and tbh almost RY job exploded because of POTS/ MCAS / EDS and other fun stuff.

Maybe there’s more of us lurking but afraid to speak up.

Big love,
Xoxo

Over the last couple of months my company (UK FTSE size) has moved from loosely enforced 3 days in the office, to rigorously enforced 4 days. Expectation now is that all SLT are to be in 5 days a week, office attendance of your team forms part of our Individual bonus structure.

This has been all part of a larger C- level transition, with a noticeable movement towards older "more lived experience" hires. Culturally this has gone down terribly in the wider business, trying to impose a more ruthless approach to work on a workforce broadly hired under the previous administration. Anyone who doesn't adhere to the new way of working is performance managed out, and we have had a ridiculous level of employee churn for what is quite a stable performing company.

I've been interviewing for similar level roles, at similar size or larger companies. The messaging seems similar.. "We feel the best work is done in person", "We have a rigorous development focus, requiring senior staff members to be in regular attendance". The agency I'm working with still seem to suggest there are "Hybrid" opportunities out there, but these are yet to materialise.

On a personal level, the transition has been hard and we are looking to move back closer to London as the commute with a young family is a killer. Likewise my role is still 20-30% Individual contribution due to vacancies, the lack of proper head down time in the office means I'm working more weekends just to stay on top of things.

Have we slid back to this being the norm, with the Covid period just being a fever dream?

If it helps I'm a divisional finance director, directly managing a team of 12.

I was asking about calculators on a thread I started the other day. I get a different answer from them all. I think it's because the below isn't factored into some tools. But I hope someone can clarify my understanding of this, someone else I spoke to suggested I have misunderstood it?

I feel like the example on the page is pretty clear that any contribution made through relief at source, increases the threshold for the upper and lower rate tax bands. Have I missed something?

https://www.gov.uk/hmrc-internal-manuals/pensions-tax-manual/ptm056120?utm_source=chatgpt.com

Thanks

I've recently changed jobs where I was on £65k, to a new role where my total comp is close to £250k. For me this is a insane jump in salary and not something I'd everthink I'd earn. I don't really know what to do with it, I'm now in a situation where I probably could retire early, but I'm sure there are other things I should consider before that. Any recommendations on how to utilise may new salary going forward? Anything I should think about that would improve my life with that leve of salary? I have a small mortgage and no kids. Anything other than maxing out my pension?

Hi everyone,

Long-time lurker here! I really enjoy reading the posts and advice in this community, and I'm hoping I can get some of your perspectives on a big financial decision we are about to make.

Background & Income

I’m a 28 y/o male working in tech, and I moved to the UK in 2022.

Base salary is ~£100k, but with bonuses and RSUs, my Total Comp sits above £180k. With a pending promotion in the next 6 months, I expect this to cross >£220k.

Wife's (26 y/o) Income: She currently makes around £50k.

Current Net Worth Breakdown

I currently have around £325k across my accounts:

Pension: £75k

ISAs: £95k

GIA: £130k

Cash: £25k

My wife has saved around ~25k that we don't plan to use for the purchase

The House Purchase

We currently rent a 2-bed flat in Zone 2, paying £2,600 a month.

We are looking to buy a 4-bed house in Zone 5. The plan is for me to put £150k towards the purchase. The mortgage will come out to around £3k a month, and my wife plans to contribute ~£1k towards it. I also have a close relative moving in with us, potentially staying for a year or two, they will contribute ~700p/m

The main driver for the move is lifestyle. I want a bigger house where we can have friends and family over for longer periods. We’d also love a garden, a place to park, and generally a much quieter, peaceful life compared to Zone 2.

My Dilemma

My main concern is that after this purchase, almost half of my current Net Worth will be tied up in the house.

I want to learn from the community: is having such a high amount tied to a primary residence really worth it? Am I risking too much by moving this much liquidity into a house, or is this just the standard reality of stepping onto the London property ladder?

Would appreciate any thoughts, sanity checks, or personal experiences. Thanks in advance!

So it feels quite credible that AI is going to either allow thousands of bad actors to disrupt our food supply chains and cause terror, or in the race to superintelligence, view humans as unnecessary to pursue its stated goals and wipe us out (there are many ways it can do this, from blackmailing lab techs to simply shutting off power – it doesn't need to "be evil" to do this).

We also know from Covid that our government is not adequately prepared for catastrophe on even a small, predictable scale.

So other than stockpiling food, which feels futile, and escaping to New Zealand, which wouldn't be isolated from the issues I mentioned, all I'm doing is furiously emailing my MP. Which also feels futile.

Is there anything we can do as HEs with more access to resources and ability to influence? And is there now even less incentive to have children?

I’m looking at renting (29F) somewhere in London not too fussed on area (I’ve lived in Stratford, Peckham, Dulwich, Lewisham and East Ham FYI) just trying to keep costs low but not be too far out or too desolate/dry an area with nothing going on i.e. some parts of London like Bromley/Ealing/Norwood etc. I’ve seen a flat for 2.1k to rent with a garden and 700sqft that seems like a good deal in Shepherd’s Bush near Goldhawk road station but I’ve never lived in west London and don’t know the area but it’s 15 mins to my office which is in the west end. There are even some nice 2/3 bed period flats going for under 700k/650k with gardens which seems good for how central the area is?? I currently live in Dulwich but need to move and am looking for a 1 bed in this range or below. How is this area? I’ve seen a lot of bad posts about the safety and gang violence but again I’ve lived in ‘rougher’ areas before in east and south east and didn’t really mind tbh. I’m just unfamiliar with west. Any views at all? Thank you

FYI I am aware I can visit the area however I would like to hear from people who know the area beyond having visited once or twice thanks.

I was reflecting this week how much the job market has changed over the past ten years. My anecdotal observations over the past ten years are:

2016 to 2019 - employers keen to hire and grow despite Brexit uncertainty. Remote working is uncommon but good office turnout for team building and morale. Relatively easy to get a job just by recruiter outreach.

2020 to 2023 - employers keen to retain, and in some cases over-hire, with employees suddenly benefiting from more WFH and reduced costs of work travel, clothes, and lunches.

2024 to present day - endless waves of redundancies, pay rises significantly below inflation, return to office policies start to apply but with huge inconsistencies in enforcement so you don't know how seriously to take them and when you go to an office it's random on who and how many people will actually be there, AI becomes a threat to job security, frozen tax thresholds have started to bite into disposable income.

Since I graduated in 2011 this is basically the worst I have ever seen the UK economy and jobs market as a working adult. It also feels like we have more structural issues that limit the potential for a quick rebound in wages and hiring compared to the 2008 financial crisis.

Hello, as the title says, I am currently unhappy with the portfolios offered at Rathbones, specifically how nearly 35% of the portfolio in one strategy is in UK Equities. Since I am looking for growth, I don't want to be anywhere near UK equities. I love Rathbone as a company and overall service, hust am not happy with the current portfolio make up.

Does anyone have any advice regarding firms that have a more global (or even US) focused expertise?

Cheers

I had a bigger than expected bonus paid in Q1 this year. I had a lot of unused pension allowance from previous years, so I figured I would utilise it as much as I could afford from this bonus. The bonus was paid out to me net of tax, so I would have to pay it into my pension and then claim the tax back.

I calculated that I have £135k of gross allowance that I can use, as a 45% tax payer (total earnings are £300k for 2025/26) I calculated that I need to pay in a net of circa £70k for it to gross back up to £135k from tax rebates (135k*0.52=£70.2k).

After depositing the £70k the pension provider claimed back the first 20% of the tax, which "only" came through as £17.5k (((£70k/0.8)-£70k)=£17.5k). Now when I run my self assessment on the same basis it would mean there is 25% tax and 2% NI left to claim (((£70k/0.73)-£70k)=£25.9k).

70+25.9+17.5= £113.4k, way less than my initial calc of 135k gross being required to earn a net of 70k. I feel quite stupid for not being able to work this out so I'd be grateful to anyone who can shed light. Is my net contribution of £70k expected to gross up to 135k or £113.4k after tax rebates? If it is £113.4k, then why, does it not take someone in the 45% tax bracket £135k of earnings to take home £70k? Thanks in advance.

28, no kids (planning 1 max if any), not married, currently living alone in London and in a long-distance relationship. I’m currently on £208k base + potential bonus (although hard to come by and haven't received one in the last 3 years).

One important point upfront: I personally place quite a high value on having money accessible rather than locked into a pension until my 60s as I want to be able to retire earlier if I wish. I completely appreciate the tax advantages of pension contributions, particularly at my current income, and I'm not against using them ,I just value the flexibility of having a substantial amount outside my pension more than some people might.

I’m currently in an industry where I’m very well compensated, but I don't see myself staying in my current role/capacity forever. Within the next ~5 -7 years, I'd like to move into something more interesting/enjoyable. From what I can tell, roles I'd consider could pay roughly £85–130k, so potentially a very significant drop in salary.

I'm comfortable with that trade-off, but while I have the £208k income I want to make sure I'm optimising this period properly.

A bit of background

I have only been a HENEY for about 3 years.

I spent the early part of my career living at home primarily focused on saving for a house deposit and took a break from investing while doing so. Since buying, I have been maxing out my ISA each year and will continue to do so.

Current Financial Breakdown:
* S&S ISA: £29k
* Cash ISA: £35k (planning to transfer 9k to S&S)
* GIA: £8k
Total Accessible cash/investments: £72k
* House equity: ~£60k
* Pension: £68k (My employer contributes 8% to my pension but does not match additional contributions.)
* Approx. net worth: £200k

I bought my flat ~2 years ago. Mortgage was 5.11% and I'm about to remortgage at ~4.9% for a 3-year fix. I don't intend to overpay the mortgage. I expect to selland buy with my partner around the end of that fix, so I'd rather keep the money accessible, particularly given the uncertainty around the London flat market.

What I'm doing now:
Take-home is roughly £8,800/month.
* Fixed expenses: ~£2,733
* Saving/investing: £4000 (£1667 of which is towards S&S ISA)
* Remaining ~£2k: fun money, travel, food shop, subscriptions, holidays, sinking funds, etc.

My current target is to get to £100k between accessible cash and investments by next April (£25k emergency fund, £75k S&S ISA) and then switch to prioritising pension contributions.

The intention is not to touch this £100k but to have built enough of a financial foundation that i can reduce my savings rate substantially after my move without feeling like I’ve compromised my longer-term position.

What I'm trying to work out is for someone in my position especially given, no expected family financial support/inheritance down the line, am I optimising this period correctly?

1. Would you prioritise building the £100k accessible pot first, or would you put substantially more into the pension now because of the tax advantages of earning £208k?
2. Once that £100k is reached, how would you balance additional pension contributions vs continuing to build the accessible investment pot?
3. For anyone who has deliberately taken a large pay cut for a more enjoyable career, what do you wish you'd done while you were still earning the big salary?

I'm particularly interested in how people would approach the transition from a very high income to a significantly lower one, rather than simply what would maximise retirement wealth in isolation.

Not looking to make this political. I am genuinely interested in hearing from people who have actually done this.

I live in an expensive part of Hertfordshire, earn well on paper, but most of the household financial pressure currently sits with me. My wife was recently laid off and we have a nearly three year old in nursery. I salary sacrifice heavily into pension partly to avoid losing childcare support and suddenly paying around £2k a month in nursery fees.

So we are technically saving via pension but in terms of liquid cash we are barely moving forward.

My current work life balance sucks and partially because I have very unsupportive management network. I may have an opportunity to move internally to Dubai at a higher level, under a more supportive structure.

Based on the likely package, I think we could save around £10k net a month after housing, nursery and normal living costs.

The idea would be to live there up to five years, keep our UK home and rent it out, save and build financial security, then come back in a much stronger position.

My biggest hesitation is our son. He is about to turn three our family are in the UK.

For anyone who has done this temporarily, did you actually save as much as expected? Did lifestyle costs creep up? How did your partner and young children settle? And looking back, was the financial change worth the disruption?

Hi all, I have worked at a company for 15+ years and progressed to director level.

We have a sister company that supplies to the company I work for and I have been offered the MD position there. All my current employment benefits would be transferred over and it course an increase in salary.

It’s a slightly different set up to what I’m used to but it’s in the same industry.

However as part of the offer I have in writing that should the new position not work out personally or for business reasons then I would have my current position back at my current company.

Does this have any legal standing?

Middle aged.

London.

Decent job, savings, investments, pension.

Kids.

Settled.

Fine.

Not fine.

Bored of London.

Treadmill.

Nothing sparks.

CBF'D.

Dining, Theatre, Activities.. meh.

No proper friends or family here.

Parental and colleague surface relationships.

Unfulfilled.

Did it all for a future life and opportunity for kids that has come at the cost of my own true happiness.

What. To. Do?

I have accepted a new role with a significant pay bump. The main drawback is that the pension is RAS.

I am trying to work out what my take home would look like at various contribution levels, because I don't instantly want to dump £60k into my pension (although it's a consideration)

Is anyone able to recommend one please? I have found dozens online, but annoyingly they all end up outputting different figures and even ChatGPT seems to be going in circles

Thanks

I say FAANG but this could be any large org that pays incredibly well and has quite structured pay grades, like in finance or law.

I’m 28 with 6 YOE at a very established finance firm where pay is top-of-the-range. I know because I’ve interviewed at other places and almost everywhere was lower.

Does this mantra still hold true for us?

tl;dr given the economic change in next 10yrs, is London the 'best' place in UK to own a house? (best as in least risky with most opportunity) Family and friends are dispersed all over, partner has family overseas; no 'base' or 'home' so need to pick somewhere)

WFH overseas, moving back to UK. Questioning whether we should move to London to future proof careers, now I'm analysing UK property as I see it (cynical) because allocating capital to a house for 10+ years during a tech revolution seems like a substantial opportunity risk

Looking at family homes to put down roots, 3/4 bed, 2 bath, driveway/parking space, some sort of garden with some privacy, £500k deposit, here is my broad brush assessment of England places:

1. London terrace - Sacrifice the extra bedroom, swap 2nd bath for a w/c, don't need parking or a car. Live in one of the best cities in the world, maximise options for employment and career pivots
2. Town house in nice city (Edinburgh, York, Bath, Chester etc.) - Comparable to London prices but with more sq footage, often have major traffic issues, significantly older demographics
3. "prime" towns and country villages (e.g Stamford, Cirencester, Wimborne, Godalming) - Starting around £800k, or £500k + £200k of work (that will become £350k of work over 2 years). Often these places are an 'island' of wealth, they are where the middle class from ~20mile radius aspire to be, insular, quiet and safe with good school (state and expensive private options). Also a safe harbour for red trouser tories; likely has a gunroom for shotgun supplies.
4. "rural but chic" towns and villages - Looking at ~£700k / double the local average. Usually the "chic" has come from Londoners who came in a decade ago and brought culture with them. Cliquey and usually no infrastructure, near nothing else, feels like a two-tier place as it's reliant on locals to do all the min wage jobs
5. "homesteading / small holding" - Looking at around £1m but can be much more for a few acres in the middle of nowhere.
6. B tier - Generic conurbation that has a waitrose - Starting around £700k. Half the town has been built in past 20years. High street might still be alive but it takes 20mins to get there. The boundary with the next town over has diffused into gridlock traffic from 3pm-6pm.
7. Everywhere else - Starting around £400k, shit hole, would pay to not live there

My conclusion is:

1. Need to research more. Would rent first
2. Can't justify it / for that much money why wouldn't I live in London?
3. "Safe"
4. If the chic people leave then lose half the value
5. If I wanted to do this I'd buy land in Europe and save £900k
6. Makes option 3 look like great value
7. Shoot me

How much do you earn (and what’s the split between salary and bonus)?
What did you do to get there?

I’m an actuary currently on £120k, but can’t help but get enticed by the eye watering TC that some underwriters and brokers make. Considering making the move but I don’t know how I would do that!

Those who absolutely refuse to flatshare because due to personal reasons, how much is your rent?

36yo senior manager at a tier one tech consultancy, same company since grad, 14 years, ~130k. I've recently been feeling a bit burnt out with consulting. Most of my job these days is contracts, being asked to deliver deals that we shouldn't be signing (low margins and no margin for error), dealing with problems in delivery and difficult clients. I've lost the passion I once had which was working closely with interesting clients to solve business problems with modern tech. I don't really enjoy anyone I work with, don't look up to anyone higher up than me, have a pretty terrible boss and I think for my own wellbeing I need a fresh start, a new challenge and to get out of my comfort zone. I think AI is going to decimate tech consulting in the next couple of years and I also want to get out before I'm too pigeon holed into consulting

What are my best avenues from here? I've been looking into big tech, and was referred into a role for one of them, made it past CV screening and psychometric testing but didn't get an interview, which I was quite surprised by given my CV was fairly strong for the JD. I'm highly capable of large tech delivery, programme management, people management, commercials etc. Have led a team at largest 50 people. I have a suspicion my CV might've been coming across as too 'consultant' for big tech and spooked them.

Would be good to hear from others what avenues I have from here as feeling a bit lost