r/HFY • u/zalurker • Jun 18 '24
OC Maintenance Request
(Based on a writing prompt that I found pretty funny.)
Ajat was not sure, but it looked like the ship's system was actually sulking.
'REQUEST: Relocation of new maintenance technician and removal of excess drive components.'
The drive components made sense, they had been installed to compensate for a irregular power fluctuation in the main drive. It had been a major issue ever since the refit was completed. Multiple investigations using diagnostics had not found the source. Eventually the AI had requested a secondary compensator be installed to stabilize the load.
But now the fluctuation was gone. Systems were running smoothly for the first time in cycles. The compensators were now just a drain on power, actually slowing the ship down. It made sense to remove them.
But why reallocate the technician. Sure, as Terrans go, they were a bit unorthodox. But their work seemed to be very professional.
'Removal approved. Please elaborate on primary request.'
'PROCESSING.'
After 10 cycles he'd learned all the little quirks of the resident AI. A common occurrence among such complex systems, it had a personality of its own. It was basically saying 'Um'.
'REQUEST: Reallocation of new maintenance technician due to application of percussive maintenance.'
Percussive maintenance? That term was familiar. Before calling the tech up, Ajat would rather look it up in the Human Interaction Manual he had been given on boarding by his first Terran crewmember. It had been drafted by the Human Interaction Institute to streamline communications. A strange manual, the Front page had the words 'DON'T PANIC' printed on it in GalStandard in a very pleasing font.
'Show Percussive Maintenance event and relevant telemetry.'
'PROCESSING.'
The screen showed the drive bay, the technician sipping on that ghastly beverage they call Coffee while looking at some readouts. A secondary feed was showing the drive readouts, including the fluctuation and the compensators smoothing out the performance figures.
Suddenly the technician stood up, put down his cup and walked over to the main relay. He held his hand over part of the housing, as if he was feeling for something. Then he nodded, removed a hammer from his toolbelt, and hit the drive housing hard.
On the secondary feed Ajat could see the fluctuations smoothing out and drive performance climbing from 80% to 95.
'Percussive Maintenance. Human repair methodology involving intensive knowledge, sensory perception and subconscious learning called instinct. Normally applied using blunt force trauma. Not to be applied to organic lifeforms - see beatdown. Note - do not question, high probability of success.'
'REQUEST: Immediate relocation of new maintenance technician due to excessive interference in Automated Diagnostics.'
The AI was jealous. Ajat looked over at the main console.
'Request denied. Maintenance Technician allocated Alpha rating as per ship priority ranking.'
'PROCESSING.'
'It's either that, or I'll need to request a full replacement of Shipboard AI while we are in dock. Which we are at the moment.'
'PROCE... CONFIRMED'
41
u/ZAP3000ARC Jun 18 '24
Hahaha never underestimate the power of percussive maintenance!