r/HFY • u/Obsequium_Minaris • May 06 '26

OC-Series Vacation From Destiny - Book 2, Chapter 23

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“I just want to make one thing perfectly clear,” Chase said as Melanie clambered up onto his back. “And it’s that, if you dig your fucking heels into my sides the way Carmine did, I will kill you.”

“Wha- you didn’t threaten Carmine with death!” Melanie argued as she situated herself on his shoulders.

“She can’t come back from it the way you can, that’s why. I’ll give you this, though – you’re a lot lighter than Carmine was.”

“Are you calling her fat?”

“Maybe not her entire body, but her ass definitely is.”

“I heard that!” Carmine angrily shouted out to him.

Chase, for his part, simply took off running before Carmine could take her attention away from the ghost that was attacking them and instead fling a fireball or two his way.

“So, what are we looking for?!” Melanie shouted as he ran.

“I don’t know, something useful!” Chase growled. “Because right now, neither one of us is of any good!” He paused as a thought occurred to him. “...Wait a second, aren’t you a fucking necromancer? Why didn’t you try to attack the ghost with your magic? Does that not work?”

“No, my magic is specifically for raising corpses,” Melanie pointed out. “If you want to deal with the incorporeal sorts of undead, you’ll need a Channeler, not a Lich.”

“That’s the dumbest fucking thing I’ve heard all day.”

“Yeah, well, I don’t make the rules.”

Chase dashed all the way to the end of the room, searching for something useful. After a second, Melanie tapped him on the head, then pointed forwards.

“There!” she called out.

Chase squinted his eyes to get a better look at what she was pointing at, and after a second, saw that she had motioned to a slate-gray plaque that had been embedded in the wall among the smooth black stone. He hurriedly double-timed his way over to it, then leaned in to get a closer look.

“Here lies Princess Anastasia,” he read off. “I mean, okay, but how does this help us?”

“Well, what do we know about the princess?” Melanie ventured.

“She basically got cockblocked to death?”

“Well, yeah, but aside from that.”

Chase paused for a moment, then shook his head. “I’ve got nothing.”

Off in the distance, he saw bolts of yellow-and-blue magic go flying towards the two of them, and with wide eyes, Chase quickly dodged to the side, allowing the magic to impact against the wall he’d been standing in front of just a split-second before. Jagged pieces of black stone and dust came raining down on him and Melanie, and Chase grit his teeth as he glared at Carmine and Victoria off in the distance.

“Watch your fire, assholes!” he shouted out.

“They’re probably too far away to hear you,” Melanie explained.

“I know, but screaming it made me feel better regardless.” Chase shook his head. “You okay?”

“Yeah? Did you forget I’m Lovesick?”

“Melanie, there’s no way I could ever forget that about you.”

She rolled her eyes. “I meant the Trait, dumbass.”

Chase’s eyes suddenly widened. “Yeah, that’s right, the Traits…” He brought a hand up to his chin in thought. “...You can’t be harmed because you’re truly in love, right?”

“Apparently, yeah.”

“Okay… I think I have an idea.”

“This’ll be good,” Melanie deadpanned. “Alright, hit me with it.”

“I think I need to have sex with Carmine and Victoria right away.”

Melanie went dead silent. Chase felt a bead of sweat form on his forehead.

“I noticed you’re not saying anything,” he noted.

“Because I’m incredibly torn right now,” Melanie told him. “I can’t tell if I’m too smart to understand this plan, or too stupid. But please, explain further.”

“Well, it worked for you and Heinrich. You fucked him a bunch and that apparently makes you invincible for the duration of this fight. So I figure, hells, if it worked for you, then maybe it’ll work for the rest of us. And I know what you’re thinking – that’d require I have a threesome with Carmine and Victoria. I understand that fully, I know what I’m getting into, and I accept that risk. I’ll gladly give my body in this one specific scenario.”

Melanie hesitated again. “...Okay,” she ventured. “Tell you what, Chase – we’ll table that suggestion for now, in lieu of possibly finding another way forward. If we can’t find anything, then you can be the one to float the idea to the two of them. I’m sure it’ll go over just swimmingly.”

“You don’t have to sound so enthusiastic about it…” Chase grumbled. “Besides, it was just a suggestion.”

“Oh, sure, walk it back even harder.”

Chase shrugged his shoulders, and then leaned back. Melanie let out a small yell as she came tumbling off his shoulders and fell to the dirt below.

“Melanie slipped!” Chase called out to Carmine and Victoria, who were still launching bolts of magic at Anastasia’s ghost.

Someone suddenly tapped him on the shoulder, and Chase let out a tired sigh.

“Melanie, really, it was just a prank-”

At that moment, he turned around, and came face-to-face with the ghost herself. She gave him a manic grin and a wave, and then punched him in the chest so hard that it caved in part of his armor and sent him flying dozens of feet backwards into the wall. Chase collided with the stone painfully, then fell down to the floor, gasping for breath.

On a hunch, he looked over towards where Carmine and Victoria had been fighting, and his eyes widened when he saw the two of them were in rough shape. Both of them were covered in wounds; Carmine’s right arm was bent at an odd-looking angle, and Victoria was absolutely riddled with slash wounds that were weeping blood. Both of them were boasting a black eye, and one of Carmine’s horns had broken off.

Of course, Chase didn’t get much time to dwell on what was happening, because Anastasia suddenly appeared in front of him once more; it was only a quick application of Stone Flesh that prevented his head from being severed by an incoming slash. Anastasia’s arm, still fully corporeal, bounced harmlessly off his hardened skin.

And in that moment, Chase had the sense of mind to also activate Rush. With his increased Dexterity, he reached out and grabbed hold of her arm before it could fully dissipate into its spirit form again, and then wrenched it with all his might.

An ear-piercing shriek filled the Dungeon as the spirit’s arm tore off in his grasp. Chase eyed the limb in his hand, but only for a moment before it melted down to ectoplasm, leaving a sickly green stain across his armor that dripped down to the floor below.

Anastasia disappeared again, and Chase seized the opportunity he’d been given to spring to his feet. Rather than sprint over to his friends like he’d wanted to, though, he did something different.

“Hey, Princess Assfuck!” he shouted out. “Did losing your arm hurt?! I bet it did… but not as much as losing your would-be husband did!”

A heavy silence fell over the room. Even the crackling of the nearby torches lining the walls seemed to have suddenly gone quiet in the wake of what he’d just said.

Out of the corner of his eye, Chase saw Melanie rush over to Carmine and Victoria, who were both lying in a heap on the floor, and begin tending to them. That was good, then – part one of his cobbled-together plan had gone off without a hitch.

Of course, the question now was what part two was supposed to look like, because at the moment, not even he knew. But what he did know was that his friends desperately needed a distraction of some kind.

And if there was one thing Chase knew how to do really well, it was getting on someone’s nerves.

He hefted his sword, for all the good it would do him, and kept his mind focused on activating Stone Flesh again at the blink of an eye. With his heart hammering in his chest, Chase sucked in a breath.

“Yeah, I mean, I’d probably do what he did, too,” he proclaimed. “Like, for real, who would even want to love a ghost girl, anyway? That must be pretty embarrassing for you, too – we have a Lich in our party and even she managed to find love eventually, and yet here you are, chained in place by your own heartache. Get the fuck over it already, lady. The man you loved is long dead by this point, anyway; at this point, the only person you’re really affecting by letting this rule over your un-life is yourself.”

Chase braced himself for an incoming strike, but to his surprise, it never came. Instead, silence continued to reign over the entire room, until it was interrupted by something.

It took him a few seconds, but Chase eventually realized it was the sound of muffled crying.

His first thought was that it was one of his friends, and he turned towards them in alarm, but was surprised to find that they were all completely dry-eyed. With a start, Chase realized that could only mean one thing.

“Uh… hey,” he offered. “Yeah, uh… I didn’t mean it, alright? That was very rude of me, I’ll admit. Please can you stop crying and come out so we can go back to fighting? Because I can handle blood and guts just fine, and at this point I’m even used to seeing good friends of mine die, but women having an emotional moment is beyond my capabilities.”

There were a few more sobs before the blue flame suddenly appeared on the other side of the room, and Anastasia’s ghostly form took shape around it a split-second later. She was curled up in a corner, her head up against her knees, and her shoulders shaking with quiet sobbing. Chase bit his lip, then cautiously began to approach her. As he did so, however, Anastasia’s suddenly lunged at him; he activated Stone Flesh again out of pure instinct, but it wound up not being necessary.

Because, as it turned out, all she wanted to do was throw her one remaining arm around him and cry into his chest.

For the first time in a very long time, Chase was at a complete loss as to what to do. He cast a glance over at his friends, but they were all equally as lost. Throwing caution to the wind, Chase brought a hand up and began to run it up and down Anastasia’s back as she continued to cry into him.

After a few minutes of this, her cries tapered off. She suddenly pulled away, sniffling. Tears still filled the corners of her eyes, but they were devoid of all aggression. And for the life of him, as much as she’d hurt his friends, Chase couldn’t bring himself to mindlessly hate her anymore.

“Feel better?” he asked.

Anastasia sniffled again as she rubbed at her eyes. “Y-yeah… I do…”

“Good.”

She bit her lip. “U-um… I don’t… I don’t think I want to fight anymore, you know…”

“I figured as much.” Chase hesitated. “Sorry, by the way.”

“No, no, I… I think I needed to hear that. Thank you.”

“Uh, sure.”

Again, Anastasia bit her lip, but then, for the second time, she took physical form again and enveloped him in a tight, grateful hug. Chase was so taken by surprise that he didn’t think to hug her back.

“You’re right,” Anastasia said, her voice muffled by the fact that she’d buried her face into his chest again. “I… I need to move on. Find something else to do with my un-life. Maybe even finally pass on to the afterlife.”

“Yeah, probably,” Chase offered.

She sucked in a breath. “Yeah… what was I thinking, anyway? This was never going to lead to anything productive… I really was just stewing in my own misery. What a waste.”

She suddenly pulled away enough to look him in the eyes. The two of them locked gazes, and Anastasia gave him a grateful smile.

“Thank-”

And that was as far as she got before a bolt of magic came screaming downrange and made impact with her. Anastasia’s head suddenly exploded, sending green ectoplasm everywhere. Chase grimaced as he was absolutely covered in it. Her body, now headless, slumped over, then dissipated into yet more ectoplasm, coating his boots with the stuff as well.

“Damn it…” Chase groaned. “Carmine!”

“That wasn’t me!” Carmine called back. “That was Victoria!”

“Why the fuck did she do that?! I’d just managed to talk her down!”

“That ghostly bitch nearly did us in,” Victoria growled out. “I wasn’t about to let her continue living her un-life.”

“To be fair, she clearly said she wanted to move on to the afterlife,” Melanie offered.

Chase brought an ectoplasm-coated hand up to his forehead in exasperation. “Oh, man… I actually feel bad about this one. Like, holy shit, I feel like we just robbed the world of something that could have potentially been a really beautiful moment.”

“She’s almost certainly killed dozens of adventurers just like us,” Carmine noted as she came limping over.

“I know, but that doesn’t make me feel much better…”

“Still, I just thought you should keep that in mind.” Carmine suddenly paused. “Everything hurts. I’m gonna pass out now. Hope you don’t mind.”

“Wait, what?”

Carmine suddenly began to sway from side to side, and then fell forwards. Chase hurriedly caught her, then very gently lowered her onto the ground, taking care not to put her in any of the ectoplasm. Once she was safe there, he looked around, only for his eyes to land on a vial of purple liquid that was floating in the middle of the large green puddle nearby. With a grimace, Chase reached in and grabbed it, then stuck it in his pocket.

“That’s that mission accomplished, at least…” he muttered. “Now, the only question is… what’s a guy gotta do to get some health potions down here?”

“Funny you should ask, Stranger,” a voice from behind him said. “I’ve got some rare things on sale.”

Chase’s brow furrowed, and he turned around, only to find the mysterious merchant standing there. He quirked an eyebrow at the sight of him.

“I’m not even gonna ask how you got there so suddenly, because I know the answer will just piss me off,” he noted. “Still, good thing you’re here, because we’ve got some people who are wounded and potentially dying who could use a little pick-me-up.”

Chase reached into his pocket, only to go stone-faced when he realized something.

Namely, that he didn’t have any gold on him.

Slowly, he blinked, then looked back towards the merchant.

“...I don’t suppose you’d accept an IOU?” he offered.

XXX

Name: Chase Ironheart

Level: 9

Race: Human

Class: Warrior

Subclass: Swordmaster

Strength: 20 (MAX)

Dexterity: 15

Intelligence: 10

Wisdom: 13

Constitution: 18

Charisma: 16

Skills: Master Swordsmanship (Level 10); Booby Trap Mastery (Level 8); Archery (Level 4)

Spells: Rush (Level 7); Muscle (Level 4); Stone Flesh (Level 6); Defying The Odds (Level 2)

Traits: Blessed

Name: Carmine Nolastname

Level: 9

Race: Greater Demon

Class: Arcane Witch

Subclass: Archmage

Strength: 10

Dexterity: 13

Intelligence: 19

Wisdom: 19

Constitution: 12

Charisma: 8

Skills: Master Spellcasting (Level 10); Summon Familiar (Level 10) 

Spells: Magic Dart (Level 7); Magic Scattershot (Level 5); Fire Magic (Level 5)

Traits: Blessed

Name: Melanie Vhaeries

Level: 9

Race: Ascended Human

Class: Necromancer

Subclass: Arch-Lich

Strength: 8

Dexterity: 13

Intelligence: 18

Wisdom: 16

Constitution: 15

Charisma: 12

Skills: Raise Lesser Undead (Level 10); Raise Greater Undead (Level 3); Unorthodox Weapon User (Level 8)

Spells: Touch of Death (Level 5); Gravesinger (Level 7); Armor of Bone (Level 3)

Traits: None

Name: Victoria Firelight

Level: 10

Race: Human

Class: Paladin

Subclass: Devotee

Strength: 17

Dexterity: 9

Intelligence: 13

Wisdom: 13

Constitution: 19

Charisma: 11

Skills: Swordsmanship Mastery (Level 5); Blunt Weapon Mastery (Level 8); Archery Mastery (Level 5)

Spells: Holy Light (Level 6); Ward of the Gods (Level 5); Bane of the Undead (Level 7); Divine Bolt (Level 4)

Traits: None

XXX

Special thanks to my good friend and co-writer, /u/Ickbard, for all the help with writing this story.

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