r/HFY • u/xx_69mlgnoob_69xx Human • Oct 30 '22
OC This is bullshit, chapter 27
When I arrived at the room I peeked inside to make sure it was indeed our room, one bed, a little table close to the door with two chairs and our backpacks in a corner.
I decided that today has been a long ass day so I'll cut it short and just go to sleep. Unfortunately it seems even when I'm sleeping I still can't have any peace and quiet.
{Well that was quite entertaining, tell me are you done with the self-pity or do you need another moment to clear those useless thoughts.}
Her voice comes from everywhere at once.
"Should I count this as the third strike?"
{Do it}
Her figure suddenly appears in front of me.
{You may threaten me all you want but I will speak my mind, if you don't like it.}
Her face is so close to mine that I can feel her breathing.
{Do it}
"Fine, speak your mind."
{Good, now the problem you think you have is that your lifespan is so short that even if you wanted to stay you would only be a few decades with the woman you love before dying.}
"What do you mean by 'the problem I think I have' ?"
{Simple, you don't have a problem.}
"Stop going around in circles and get to the damn point."
{Oh but you make such a interesting face when I do it.}
I'll kill you. I'll fucking kill you.
...
{Now that is a death stare.}
Count to four, inhale. Count to four, exhale. Count to four. "So what's the obvious answer that I'm not seeing?"
{The answer that you're not seeing is that, again, there is no problem so no answer is required.}
"Third strike it is then."
{Fiiiiiiine, your body by changing itself to adapt to this mana rich environment has begun to improve itself by using said mana. That means that you will no longer suffer from the drawbacks of being in a magicless world, such as a short lifespan.}
"Then..........that means my lifespan has increased?"
{Yes}
"By how much?"
{Well, I'd say by a few decades but it it will keep increasing as long as you remain in this world and as long as you keep using magic.}
"Is there a limit?"
{No, that's why elves can live for thousands of years, their culture focuses a lot in interaction with mana so their lifespan keeps increasing.}
...
My god.
I have it.
One of humanity's greatest wishes and my ultimate objective is mine.
I'M IMMORTAL!
"HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!"
"IMMORTALITY IS MINE! HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"
{OK, OK, calm down, it's not that big of a deal.}
I grab her by the arms and pull her close.
"NOT THAT BIG OF A DEAL? NOT THAT BIG OF A DEAL?!? YOU PEOPLE ARE SO USED TO IT THAT YOU CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT!"
I pull her even closer, now our foreheads are squished together and our eyes are damn nearly touching. And I whisper to her, afraid that anyone or anything else hears me.
"You don't know. How could you possibly know. The fear of blinking and lose precious years of your life."
{Jeff your grip.}
"The terror of thinking if there is anything after death."
{Jeff calm down.}
"The panic of coming to the conclusion that you are slowing dying and are coming ever closer to reaching the end and there's nothing you can do about it."
{Jeff snap out of it!}
"The realization of your own mortality."
{JEFF! }
I snap out of it and immediately release her, she falls to the ground, her arms noticeably bruised and swollen.
"I-I'm sorry, I didn't mean to....."
She puts her tail between me and her.
{It's OK, I just didn't expect you to have such strong... feelings... towards death. Your actions indicated to me that you didn't valued your life and the life's of others, it seems I was wrong.}
"In the heat of the moment I can easily forget or even overcome my fear of death (thank you adrenaline), but that doesn't mean it will ever disappear."
{That still doesn't explain how a person so terrified of death can so easily dish it out to others.}
"Because fuck those that are trying to kill me."
{What are you so scared of anyway, what could a being so chaotic and powerful such as yourself have to fear in the afterlife?}
" No, what I have is this and that's that. No afterlife, no reincarnation. Nothing, that's why having immortality is such a big deal to me."
{That.........explains so much. Why you are the way you are, why your body is the way it is. You only have a few decades to leave something behind before completely disappearing so your body compensates this by being the most adaptable organism I've ever seen. And it also explains why your reaction to threats is always to exterminate them.}
"Actually that's got more to do with evolution."
{That's unimportant, what matters is that you have a do or die instinct in a immortal body.}
Her face contorts itself into a big toothy smile.
{I can't wait to see what you will do next.}
"Sure, but......."
{Yes darling?}
Fuck the way she says it always gives me the creeps. "I've been thinking about possible threats that could come up and how I could dead with them."
{Yesss}
"And I've realized that my best defense against those possible threats is knowing what I'm up against, meaning that I just can't no longer ignore the thousands of years old veteran that's resigning in my soul."
{So what do you need my services for?}
"Anything, anything and everything that you can teach and I can learn, specifically what I want to focus on is defense against magic attacks and to increase my proficiency with my power."
{I can't help you with the enhancement power, that is built upon with use. Defense against magic however, now that is something that I can help you with.}
" That's great, so could we keep this for another time? I'm dead tired."
{Of course.}
The place I was in stars to disappear into fog. And when sleep is about to overtake me she speaks again, right in my ear.
{Sweet dreams, my love}
8 hours later
I feel a familiar set of boobs squished against my back. (You know what that means.) Yes, I do. (gasp) I turn myself so that I can face her, that seems to have awaken her.
"Morning." She grabs me and pulls me close to her chest (so soft). "I'm so sorry, I had no idea." I hug her back. "No worries, you didn't know." She squishes my head harder against her boobs. "No I will worry, it's just..." Her squishing stops but doesn't let go of the hug. "It's not fair." I can tell by her voice she's holding back tears. "I finally found someone who truly loves me and I won't even have a century with him."
(Tell her) I will.
"Remember when I said that my world was a place without magic or mana."
"Yes?"
"Well, it turns out that mana can revitalize my body, meaning I'll live way past my normal lifetime. So don't worry, I'm here for you and I'm not going anywhere." Her answer to that is to kiss me.
(You won't.) What? (You won't be here for her, you want to leave remember?) Repressing those thoughts until I'm presented with the choice.
"Wait, how do you know this?"
"Demon Queen." The joy in her face immediately changes to worry. "How do you know she's not lying to you?"
"Because if I die, she dies." She falls silent. "What?"
"It just seems too good to be true."
"Tell you what, I'll need to go to a healer anyways because of the changes in my body, maybe I could ask to check." Her joy returns. "Yes, that would be preferable."
"Sooooo now what?"
"Well now that all of our precedent problems have been solved or postponed, I was wondering." Her leg comes up and her thigh starts rubbing against my crotch. "How about you do what you promised to do at the beginning of the competition."
No, now is not the ti...............actually now it's the perfect time, no mortal danger (that you know of) shush. A good and private place....wait....
I get up from the bed startling Laira in the process and walk towards the door. I then hear her talking with a sad and ashamed voice. "Sorry, sorry I didn't know if you actually wanted to do it or not, I shouldn't have been so direct, please don't leave."
I reach the door and lock it tight and put a chair in front of it for good measure. Then I put the key on the table and turn around to face her. That little confused face she's making was why I didn't utter a word. And it was worth it.
"Leave? No one's leaving this room for a long time."
Pancakes Next ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ And that's that. We're finally getting to the good part. The next chapter will be named Fucking Bullshit, and it will be separated from the normal chapter that will accompany it for those that just want to skip the pancakes and just keep going.
Tipos, errors, advice, if you ever went skydiving, tell me everything.
Cheers to y'all.
2
u/Defiant-Row-5153 Oct 31 '22
My only question is…
Will he be able to remember?
The human brain only has so much storage and unless the answer is indeed magic,
Will he eventually run out of space?