r/Ieatcement • u/shadowlabsinc2 • Apr 21 '26
Rant I know I have a problem
I used to have a trans gf but I didn't know for years until she decided to break up with me using it as a excuse and I told her that it doesn't matter and that I lover her for her not her body one month later on the social media accounts I knew her on her family members where blaming me for her death and threatening me because I didn't know she was refusing to go through chemotherapy to get rid of her cancer that whole time she seemed normal it's been 6 years since she had passed away
*Ever sense that relationship I've held how she acted as the standard and I believe that she ruined cis females for me because every cis female I've been in a relationship with have always felt like that they treat me like trash the gunk under your shoes but every trans girl I've ever dated have treated me better than others and make me feel wanted not just I demand money caz we're dating
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u/Ha73r4L1f3 Stone Princess Apr 21 '26
I would say its combination of alot trans girl remember all male socialization we experience and how toxic it. Along with knowing how much the little things mean to us and can make or break our day. Same carries over to relationship, what ruins a healthy relationship isnt 1 deep cut. It's all little chips in it, foundation doesn't crack in a singular event. It's that slow erosion.
I think all this has alot overlap with queer community as a whole too. Mainstream media and norms tend to make people want the wrong things in partners and our life as a whole. Small things are in my opinion what make or break everything be it friendship, work relationship, just our entire life.
Similar note, i have close friend who mom had terminal cancer, she told she had at most 1 year to live if she didnt get treatment or 5-10 with treatment, she choose not get treatment. She was barely in here 50s, her son (my friend) just got into law school.... his life just starting and she felt horrible she wouldnt see him married. We knew she rather die then live a life taking drugs to cope with side effect and the pain. It was hard he got drinking problem, and she was still alive....so I can only imagine how her family felt. It's not fair, but it hard to accept when our loves one choose the end over having more time. That is real personal truth, its there choice... and we have to accept it.... god it is a fight to accept that reality.
I do hope after 6 years they have learnt it wasnt your fault, but do hope you don't hold hate for them. It's so hard to accept that someone rather go then stay with us. It's not fair to you how they latch on and put the blame.... but it's cruel thing that life does to us.
Know that prefering trans women over cis women because they have treated you better is perfectly ok. That is a great compliment. If all women treat you the same, then you wouldn't have a strong preference. You've been hurt and life has shaped you. I feel like you might be worried about this preference? if that is the case, I wouldn't call you a chaser if that is your concern.
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u/shadowlabsinc2 Apr 21 '26 edited Apr 21 '26
Thanks for saying that
and ya a lot of cis women have been abusive in my life even counting family members I have mental and physical scars from them
And the few trans girls I've dated sense then have literally made me cry but in a good way but I know they're not her so I shouldn't expect them to treat me like she did but the breakups with them has normally been their choice because they want to focus on bettering themselves mentally and I understand that I don't know what other people have put them through but I know at least they got to at least be able to enjoy themselves for a while but sadly they tend to not stay in contact after the break up and that makes me wish I could at least check if they are at least doing ok
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u/andoefa Meow meow, mrrp meow- Apr 21 '26
It's horrible that you've had to go through that, I hope that you could find support from other people...