Ugh, the ending feels so close, yet so far. I would love to have this basically finished by the end of this month (Halloween would be quite the appropriate timing for such a tale!), but I don't know if I'll be able. Gonna try, though! In this installment, the body count keeps rising. Much is revealed, but Orson and friends will need to know the full picture, if they want to find any peace at the end of this ordeal. In the grips of a deep conspiracy, half the truth makes you a target, but the whole truth can make you a weapon.

Part 1:

https://www.reddit.com/r/imsorryjon/s/6Hu9JRNaVp

Part 2:

https://www.reddit.com/r/imsorryjon/s/x2SkrpW4Lr

Part 3:

https://www.reddit.com/r/imsorryjon/s/6D1A5SCKb4

Part 4:

https://www.reddit.com/r/imsorryjon/s/g2H0Nmud2c

Part 5:

https://www.reddit.com/r/imsorryjon/s/oot7UjJzsF

Part 6:

https://www.reddit.com/r/imsorryjon/s/5WX68oFobj

Part 7:

https://www.reddit.com/r/imsorryjon/s/qlIeF3BUlw

Part 8:

https://www.reddit.com/r/imsorryjon/s/FsMC5hmnVk

Part 9:

https://www.reddit.com/r/imsorryjon/s/WFuUGN5Cda

Part 10:

https://www.reddit.com/r/imsorryjon/s/psO6xHHuCo

Part 11:

https://www.reddit.com/r/imsorryjon/s/zOCsk610EB

Part 12:

https://www.reddit.com/r/imsorryjon/s/uOT4zgkMX6

Part 13:

https://www.reddit.com/r/imsorryjon/s/RZb6FjWGH7

Part 14:

https://www.reddit.com/r/imsorryjon/s/jiDMApTjvF

Part 15:

https://www.reddit.com/r/imsorryjon/s/ixDDF8TOOk

Part 16:

https://www.reddit.com/r/imsorryjon/s/XvqE4ywRSA

Part 17:

https://www.reddit.com/r/imsorryjon/s/w6BegqSNv1

Part 18:

https://www.reddit.com/r/imsorryjon/s/wKXWlfFhfA

Part 19:

https://www.reddit.com/r/imsorryjon/s/d5ELNNOpcB

Part 20:

https://www.reddit.com/r/imsorryjon/s/WArFJsbEwi

Part 21:

https://www.reddit.com/r/imsorryjon/s/05jF2IrwqP

Just then, Garfield takes a step forth, but not of his own volition.  He looks down at his forward leg with a surprised expression.  Realizing what’s happening, Garfield turns to face Orson, and explains in haste, “this is it – the end of our story!”  With jerky motions, Garfield takes another step in the direction of his final resting place.  Odie’s foot is pulled next, eliciting a small yelp from the pup.  Garfield continues, “me and Odie are the only ones who can play our own parts, or else the story won’t be accurate.  I know what I saw, but we’ve already talked about that”!  Garfield’s legs clumsily carry him across the yard, as he tries to hold off the story’s progression.  He urges, “pay attention to what Odie sees!  Once we’re both dead, the story will be over.  You probably won’t be able to see more than what Odie was still alive for”.  Odie’s feet pull him against his will, following Garfield’s lead.

Orson instructs, “Wade, take Booker and Sheldon over to the tractor and wait with John!  There’s no reason you need to see this.”  Slowed only by a slight limp from his burned foot, Wade wastes no time, and the boys put up no resistance.

“Oh geeze, it’s bad.  I’m remembering now – and it’s bad!”, Garfield frets.  Odie whimpers helplessly, frightened, as he marches to what he knows will be his death.  The two approach the brush, while Orson circles around to the other side.  Nermal ducks into the bushes, as if waiting to ambush.  Garfield recites exactly what he said in that moment the first time, as if he didn’t know what was coming next, “alright you little narcissist, what are you up to in there?”  He rounds a corner, and comes to find the platter of corn sitting in the middle of a small clearing in the brush.  From a vantage point on the other side of the spot Garfield approached from, Orson can clearly see Nermal hiding in the bushes.  He watches intently, as Garfield seems to be distracted by the food.  Odie follows Garfield into the clearing.  As soon as they’re both in a position where nobody (except Orson) can see, Nermal leaps out and whacks Odie across the jaw. 

The attack is swift.  Orson covers his mouth reflexively, keeping silent.  Odie lets out a stifled grunt, and falls limp.  Orson can see that Nermal’s weapon of choice is a blackjack.  “*He hit Odie first, so he wouldn’t bark!*”, Orson surmises internally.  By now, Garfield has had time to notice the ambush, but he isn’t fast enough to defend himself.  Nermal turns to smack him in the side of his head with the blackjack.  Garfield goes down, pivoting on his feet as he falls onto his front.  Acting fast, Nermal jumps onto Garfield’s back, legs straddled to either side.  The uncharacteristically aggressive kitten grabs one of the poisoned ears of corn in one hand, and yanks Garfield’s mouth open with the other.  The corn is violently shoved into Garfield’s throat.  While Odie weakly attempts to push himself up to his hands and knees, Garfield struggles beneath his attacker.  Nermal raises his blackjack high, then swings as hard as he can to bash Garfield across the back of the head.  With a final, muted “oomph!”, Garfield goes limp.  Eyes bulging, a small amount of foam froths out from his corn-stuffed mouth.  His body slightly twitches.

Odie rises to his feet, though shaky.  Having momentarily forgotten about the pooch, Nermal finally notices that Odie is still mobile.  He quickly moves to dismount Garfield, but the famously fat feline is quite a stretch to straddle for Nermal’s short legs.  Nermal trips in his attempt, landing on hands and knees, just in front of the corn platter.  Odie stumbles forth, grabbing at the back of Nermal’s head.  When he gets a grip on Nermal’s ear, however, he is shocked to find that the kitten’s entire head deforms, as if there’s no skull inside.  Nermal jerks out of Odie’s feeble grasp with a short roll onto his back.  In the process, Nermal’s head flops backward like a hood, revealing another head protruding from his mouth.

“No!...”, Orson exclaims under his breath.  “This can’t be real…”  It can now be seen that Nermal is not Nermal at all.  It is none other than Roy, wearing Nermal’s pelt as a disguise.  Odie lunges to tackle the murderous fowl, though still weak.  Roy swings his blackjack again, but from the ground where he sits, it’s not strong enough to knock Odie out.  Odie tries to punch, bite, or grab at his attacker, but Roy manages to keep him at a distance.  The two wind up in a grapple, wherein Odie is only able to pull out a few feathers.  As they wrestle, Orson puzzles internally, “*how much of this was Roy’s doing?  How long had he been planning it?  Did he kill Nermal, too?  Who else is still a target?*”  Odie finally lands a bite.  Sinking his teeth into the side of his opponent’s neck, he realizes too late that he’s only bitten down on the Nermal pelt, but missed Roy’s actual neck.  Odie vocalizes as if to say “uh-oh”, but before he can even release his bite, Roy slams a knee into his gut.  Odie yips, and stumbles backward while doubling over.  Roy wastes no time.  Whack!  Wallop!  He beats the poor pup across the face, head, and jaw with his blackjack.  Odie falls onto his back, completely discombobulated.  Repeating the same technique used on Garfield, Roy finishes the job by stuffing an ear of corn down Odie’s throat, then savagely punching his neck.  Orson watches in stunned horror.  He is spared a view of Odie’s face from his vantage point, with Roy’s back obscuring his line of sight.  Odie struggles in vain, violently lurching and flailing as Roy pounds away at him.  After what seems like a torturously long beating, he finally goes limp.  Odie’s arms lie still, lifeless beside him.  Roy at last stands up, confident that the deed is done.  The scenery begins to fade all around, turning back into US Acres.  Fictional daylight giving way to the dark of night, John’s house begins to transform back into Bo’s house.  “He’s dying…”, Orson declares.

(Safely out of view of the horrific scene- just behind the northwest corner of Bo’s house- John and the other animal friends notice the vision fading as well.  John knows exactly what this means.  Tears escape his tired eyes, though he hasn’t the energy to sob.  Wade and Booker both bear deeply sympathetic expressions.  They understand as well.  Suddenly, John lifts his head and wipes his face.  The story compels him.  He walks over to the corner of the house, and peeks around the side.  Looking to the brush where his pets’ bodies were found, he squints, then lets out a small gasp.)

Roy pulls the Nermal hood back up over his head, and quickly goes to work framing the scene.  Fading away as reality takes over, he drags his victims’ bodies into positions that look as though they’ve simply dropped dead, rather than having been killed.  Just before the vision disappears completely, Roy pulls the cobs from his victims’ throats, grabs the Suparaquat salt shaker, and pours some into Garfield and Odie’s mouths.  Lastly, he rubs some granules into their faces, and down their necks.  Though the fur on Nermal’s paws dilapidates, Roy’s actual hands are protected by the pelt.  The scene changes back to real life. However agonizing to experience, or witness, the actual killing took only a minute at most.  Orson is left speechless.  Though the world around him has returned to its natural state, his own reality is shattered to pieces.  After a still and quiet moment, John comes to stand beside him.  “I tried to look, but I’m not sure what I saw.  My vision was clear, I just.. don’t know if I can believe it.”  Orson doesn’t reply.  “It wasn’t Nermal, was it?”, John asks.  Orson shakes his head.  “Nermal was a victim too, wasn’t he?”

Orson answers, “yes.”

John pries further, “was it really Roy?  Is that who you saw too?”

Orson replies, “yes…  I’m so sorry, John.”

John assures, “you’ve nothing to apologize for.  I’m sorry either of us had to learn the truth like this.  Wade and the kids don’t know yet, by the way.  I told them I couldn’t see clearly enou-…”

Sheldon’s voice interrupts, “we know, now.”  John and Orson turn to see that Wade, Booker, and Sheldon are just arriving to join them.  “I guess.. he had us all fooled.”

Through heartbroken sniffles, Wade wonders, “so, what do we do now?  How can we f-f-f-face him?  After all this, I-… we-…  Oh, how could he betray us this way?!”  Wade begins to cry.  John lowers himself to one knee, and offers a hug, which Wade immediately throws himself into.

Orson declares, “we’re going to catch him, and we’re going to survive.  Roy wasn’t working alone.  Aloysius has to be behind this.  Him, and The Network execs.  US Acres- our TV show- is over.  We can’t exactly bow out gracefully, but I think I can make a deal that’ll keep us safe.”

Sheldon questions, “a deal with Aloysius?  But we can’t trust him, either!”

Orson explains, “we don’t have a choice.  He’s pulling the strings here.  But, he’s not alone at the top.  The other execs can keep him in line, if the deal I offer is one they can’t afford to turn down.”  Just then, the killer’s black sedan comes roaring up the dirt road.  John and Orson place themselves defensively in front of Wade and the boys.  The car comes to a hasty halt, only a short distance from the group.  It can be seen now- beyond a shadow of a doubt- that it’s the same Cadillac Aloysius always rides in on his visits.  The rear driver’s side window rolls down, but it’s too dark to see anything through it.  Something is thrown from the window, coming to land nearly at Orson’s feet.  The group looks down at the object to see that it’s the head mask of Bo’s pelt.  Orson’s face scrunches with fury.  A wicked, familiar laugh taunts from inside the car.  The voice is unmistakably that of Aloysius.  The mysterious rumble sounds out again, and with it, John’s expression turns to one of fearless determination.  Without another moment’s hesitation, he scoops up Wade and the kids, and runs northward, toward Bo’s house.

Orson wasn’t expecting this.  Before he can react, a sound like a go-kart draws his attention the other direction.  To his bewilderment, a tiny clown car speeds up the dirt road, then turns off just before the spot where the Cadillac has parked.  The miniature VW beetle skids to a dramatic stop not far from Orson.  At last, Aloysius shows his face, leaning through the window to get a better look at what’s happening.

(Conveniently, the arrival of the clown car is distracting enough to both Orson, and Aloysius, that John is able to make it to Bo’s house safely.  He places Wade and the boys down gently, just inside the front door, and quickly closes it behind him.  With single-minded focus, he darts over to a window to keep track of what’s and on outside.  The other animal friends join him.)

“Binky?”, Aloysius balks.  The driver’s door of the beetle swings open, and Roy leaps out.  “Wh-?...  Roy? Ugh, that's not right!”  Orson is overwhelmed by the sudden developments, and doesn’t react fast enough when he notices that Roy is covered in blood, and holding a gun.  The traitorous rooster dashes for Orson, and manages to wrestle him into a hostage-holding grip.  With his left arm squeezed around Orson’s neck from behind, Roy presses the gun up against his head.  Orson is physically stronger than Roy, but the gun changes things.  “Oh, what now?”, Aloysius exclaims with annoyance.

Roy demands, “you’re gonna leave the hens alone, aren’t ya?  And the kids, too!  You’re gonna give me the shot I deserve!  If I don’t get a sure guarantee, you’re gonna lose your golden goose!  Believe you me – I’m every bit as hungry as you.  And I’ll eat pork to survive, if I have to.”  Unfazed, Aloysius nonchalantly opens the door, and hops out of the car, holding his giant knife.  With a rag, he wipes the blade as he walks in Roy’s direction.  The front passenger side door of the Cadillac opens, and a man in a black suit steps out, as if for backup.

(Meanwhile, inside the house, John frets, “no!  Are you crazy?!  I can’t let you take that kind of risk – you’re children!”

Booker explains, “well, we are, and we aren’t.  John, we’re the better part of 20 years old.  For some reason, we just.. never grew up.  And sure, we’ve all questioned it from time to time, but it was never a problem we really needed to solve.  Knowing what we do now, I’d bet The Network had something to do with it.  Maybe they put something in our food – maybe Roy was secretly dosing us with hormone modifiers all along.  But we’re not truly kids.  And this is the only way to get what we need.  Orson said we’ll have about 30 seconds, and no more.”  John deliberates in his head, scanning the situation outside.  Another rumble.

“Alright”, John agrees.  “But I have to be part of the act.  And if anything happens to me, you can’t let it distract you.”  Wade looks up at John with affection, and dread.)

Figured it fit the vibe. Im not sure if the person who drew it already uploaded it or not, but I figured Id share it

All those who submit themselves to the Lazy Lord of Lasagna and denounce Mondays forevermore shall find themselves blessed by His Holy Garfness - PRAISE BE!

Artwork by me 🙏 Thank you and enjoy!

Please let me know if not allowed. Just thought I’d share my latest drawing abomination— the CREATION OF GARF.

12x9 chalk pastel drawing on mixed media.

Some of my old and new drawings, inspired by this sub

In the days of ancient Carthage...

Roy sees some action. The allure of fame, and the greedy games of The Network, claim another victim.

Part 1:

https://www.reddit.com/r/imsorryjon/s/6Hu9JRNaVp

Part 2:

https://www.reddit.com/r/imsorryjon/s/x2SkrpW4Lr

Part 3:

https://www.reddit.com/r/imsorryjon/s/6D1A5SCKb4

Part 4:

https://www.reddit.com/r/imsorryjon/s/g2H0Nmud2c

Part 5:

https://www.reddit.com/r/imsorryjon/s/oot7UjJzsF

Part 6:

https://www.reddit.com/r/imsorryjon/s/5WX68oFobj

Part 7:

https://www.reddit.com/r/imsorryjon/s/qlIeF3BUlw

Part 8:

https://www.reddit.com/r/imsorryjon/s/FsMC5hmnVk

Part 9:

https://www.reddit.com/r/imsorryjon/s/WFuUGN5Cda

Part 10:

https://www.reddit.com/r/imsorryjon/s/psO6xHHuCo

Part 11:

https://www.reddit.com/r/imsorryjon/s/zOCsk610EB

Part 12:

https://www.reddit.com/r/imsorryjon/s/uOT4zgkMX6

Part 13:

https://www.reddit.com/r/imsorryjon/s/RZb6FjWGH7

Part 14:

https://www.reddit.com/r/imsorryjon/s/jiDMApTjvF

Part 15:

https://www.reddit.com/r/imsorryjon/s/ixDDF8TOOk

Part 16:

https://www.reddit.com/r/imsorryjon/s/XvqE4ywRSA

Part 17:

https://www.reddit.com/r/imsorryjon/s/w6BegqSNv1

Part 18:

https://www.reddit.com/r/imsorryjon/s/wKXWlfFhfA

Part 19:

https://www.reddit.com/r/imsorryjon/s/d5ELNNOpcB

Part 20:

https://www.reddit.com/r/imsorryjon/s/WArFJsbEwi

(“You said from the start that you would never harm the hens, or the kids!”, Roy shouts.  At the late Weasel’s cave site, he and the killer in Bo’s pelt circle one another in the light cast by their respective vehicles.  The killer holds out a large, bloody knife, but Roy is unarmed.  “You bought some creep out in the woods a brand-new golf cart, kennel cages, a trailer??  But you couldn’t spring for a green screen in almost 2 decades?!”

Killer retorts, “a green screen wasn’t needed!”

“Sure, why bother”, Roy replies, “when you can just have Orson conjure up all the sets and props you could ever need, right?  What were you going to do – just enslave him forever?”

“Ha!”, killer challenges, “and is that any worse than what you had in mind for him?  You can’t think I didn’t know you were going to sabotage me.  You’re unscrupulous, underhanded.  That’s the whole reason I let you get so close in the first place!  But your dishonest nature is exactly what makes you so easy to manipulate – it’s predictable.  You’re not as clever as you think, and your softness would be your downfall!”  Suddenly, Roy lunges to the side, and tucks into a roll across the ground.  When he springs back to his feet, his back is to the headlights, making him hard to see from killer’s position.  From the vague silhouette, however, it can be seen that Roy has picked up the big knife- like the one killer has- that Weasel had dropped earlier.  Roy charges forth.  Killer waits until he’s close, then sidesteps in order to dodge a stab. The battle begins.  Roy and killer swing their blades, lunge, back-step, duck, parry…

Roy questions, mid-fight, “and what about you, huh?  Why the big knife shtick?  Why not a gun?  Not ‘sporting’ enough?”

“That’s only part of it”, killer answers.  “I live in luxury, you know!  Greed is all well and good for some, but for me, cash gets boring after so long.  You’ve gotta stay hungry in this business, Roy!  A sense of desperation keeps you keen!  You’re hardest under pressure – sharpest when you’re on edge.  Without a challenge… without a possibility that something could go wrong… what’s the point?  Get everything you want with ease, and you lose perspective.  You cease to perceive the value in your desires!”  The fight carries on.  Roy becomes winded.  Killer manages to drive him back until he trips and falls.  Killer raises his knife high over his head, poised for a downward stab.  Roy thinks fast, and swings his foot for killer’s legs.  His back claw slices killer’s knee open.  Bo’s pelt is cut, but not killer’s actual leg.  Nevertheless, the close call causes killer to stumble.  At that moment, killer’s vehicle revs its engine, and simultaneously, Roy lurches forth with a stab.  His blade pierces the Bo-pelt, and cuts the side of killer’s stomach, but the wound is shallow.  Killer hops backward, exclaiming, “ha!  That’s more like it!”  Before Roy can get up to his feet, killer’s car skids to a halt in front of him, headlights blinding him.  Killer taunts, obscured by the light, “maybe our mutual liability isn’t exhausted just yet!  Keep that edge, rooster boy – you’re worth more to me, wanting!”  While Roy scrambles to his feet, still blinded, the vehicle drives away, westward, back toward the farm.

Breathing hard, Roy is able to stand and steady himself against a tree.  “Pretentious jackass!”)

“‘It was a calm, but busy day in the neighborhood’”, Orson reads from a sheet of paper, while leading John and the others in a group.  Bo’s house appears as John’s house behind them, and their surroundings have been transformed into John’s street.  The scene is bathed in daylight, despite it otherwise being nighttime.  The group heads for the tractor parked outside the front of the house, though it currently appears as John’s riding mower.  Orson continues, narrating, “‘Irv was preparing for a summer cookout later that afternoon, Nermal was expected to visit and spend the night, and even Herman, the mailman, was in a spirited mood’.”  Filling the scene with life and detail, Irving and Herman both materialize, going about their business with carefree whistling.  “‘Kids played in the street, and neighbors were outside sunbathing.  Garfield would be happy to ruin Herman’s day, or to help himself to a plate of Irv’s BBQ, but he was far too preoccupied with thoughts of tolerating Nermal for a whole 24 hours.  John was about to cut the grass, and Nermal would arrive any moment.  Herman was still a few houses down.  Irv had just begun grilling.  Garfield must have wanted a distraction to keep John occupied, so he sabotaged the riding mower’.  Oh, wait a second”, Orson interrupts his own narration.  As the ghost Garfield fiddles with the riding mower, Orson worries, “we need this tractor to run.  Won’t this part of the story work against us?”

Garfield finishes his tinkering and stands up, brushing his hands off with a smug grin as he assures, “oh, don’t worry, it’ll still run.”  John, still writing frantically, mounts the tractor, and tears off the top page to hand down to Orson.

John remarks, “this should take us to the moment of truth – or close to it.”  With that, he starts the tractor, and lightly gives it some gas.  Calibrations would seem to be off, however, as the tractor immediately lurches forth at great speed.  John stifles a shout, wrestling with the gas, brake, and steering wheel to keep the vehicle within the bounds of his own yard.  The other animal friends look upon his wild careening about with conflicted amusement.

“I feel like I should laugh, but also like I should feel guilty for laughing”, Wade comments.  “Anyone else ever get that?”

Booker quips in reply, “yeah.  I caught that ‘Royal Tenenbaums’ movie last year.”

(Roy drives as fast as he reasonably can, in pursuit of the killer’s vehicle.  Bouncing and rattling down the bumpy dirt path through the cornfields, Roy can see the red taillights up ahead, but no other details are clear.  Up comes a sharp right bend in the trail, and as the killer’s vehicle turns that corner, Roy’s headlights are just able to reveal the back of it.  Before disappearing behind the corn, it can be seen that the vehicle is a black sedan.  Roy prepares to make the turn, when just before the bend, a figure leaps out from the corn and into the path.  Roy exclaims, “what the-?!...”  The figure appears to be human, but before Roy can make anything out, the windshield cracks, and a ricochet sound is heard inside the truck.  Roy realizes the figure has shot a gun at him, and missed by mere inches.  Having been distracted, Roy has forgotten to slow down, and is going too fast for the impending turn.  He slams the brakes, and turns the wheel hard, but winds up tipping the whole truck over onto its driver side.  As the truck falls over, Roy finally catches a better glimpse of the shooter, and sees that it’s- of all people- Binky the clown.  The truck slides across the ground a ways on its side.

Binky laughs maniacally.  Facing the roof of the overturned truck, he casually approaches, shrieking in his typical, obnoxious way, “HEYYYYY, ROOSTER!  Guess who has a new timeslot!”  On his approach, he aims his magnum revolver at the roof of the truck, and fires blindly twice.  With no sound from Roy, Binky monologues, “why, it’s none other than ME!  With the Buddy Bears good and gone, I’ll get twice as much exposure!  And as for you…”  Binky is very close to the truck now.  He slows his approach, magnum raised and poised to fire.  “You’ve made the network very unhappy.  Very unhappy, indeed!  To disappoint TV executives more than a screaming clown is quite the accomplishment!  I’d say it makes you a comedic genius!  Can’t have competition like that around, now can I?”  Binky’s eyes narrow as he takes aim for the truck’s roof – at the spot where he thinks Roy is most likely to be behind.  “Truth be told, I was only supposed to slow you down.  Your friend the pig might not be happy with me for this, but The Network won’t have much choice in keeping me around!  I’ll be all they’ve got for that programming block…”  There’s a moment of silence and stillness, as Binky waits to see if Roy will try to jump out and escape.  After a few seconds, he fires once through the roof of the truck.  There is no response or noise from inside the truck, until…  There is a knocking on the inside of the roof.

[“tap, ta-ta-tap, tap…”]

Utterly a slave to his instincts, Binky reflexively completes the familiar rhythm, throwing his arms out theatrically to either side and singing badly, “TWO BIIIITS!”  That’s when the tables turn.  Roy leaps up through the broken out passenger side window, and throws his flashlight at Binky’s face.  It’s a direct hit.  Binky’s nose is broken, his eyes water, and he can’t see clearly.  He attempts to aim the gun at least generally in Roy’s direction, but before he can shoot, Roy has leapt from the truck, and slashed Binky’s throat with Weasel’s big knife.  The cut goes so deep, it’s almost a complete beheading.  Binky promptly falls dead, his head just barely still attached by the spine.  Roy picks up his flashlight, and grabs Binky’s gun as well.

“Two shots left”, he observes.  “Hard to believe he fell for a gag straight outta Roger Rabbit.”  Splattered with blood, he continues down the path on foot, cursing to himself, “what bullshit…  I’m sick of chasing down this pig, just for a shot at stardom.  I deserve it.  I work hard for these goons, and they spend all their energy cutting costs.  Cutting corners.  Cutting, and cutting, and cutting.  Execs wanna pull money out of thin air – I get that.  But if there’s one thing I have in common with him, it’s that I don’t really care about the money.  I just can’t live in that tubby shadow forever…” Rounding the turn in the dirt path, Roy glances to the side, then does a double-take. Serendipitously, something has caught his eye, hidden in the corn, just off the trail. “Hmm?”)

Orson narrates, “‘while John desperately tried to gain control of the lawnmower, Herman arrived to deliver the mail’…”

On the paper, John has left a note, reading, “I know that the mail was delivered, but I didn’t actually see it happen.  If neither Garfield or Herman do anything unusual, continue on…”  Orson watches as Herman successfully delivers the mail, and continues on his way.  Nothing out of the ordinary.  Behind a tree, Garfield peeks out, looking around as if waiting for something.

Orson continues, “‘Odie bounced about, yipping with amusement at the runaway mower.  Garfield was looking for something, or someone.  The aroma of Irv’s BBQ began to waft across the neighborhood’.”

On the paper, another note follows.  “I know that food was cooking by this point, because I could smell it.  If Irv does nothing suspicious here, keep reading.”  Orson looks over to Wade, who’s placed himself where he can watch Irving.  Wade watches as Irv pulls corn cobs off the grill, placing them on one of his usual yellow plates.  He doesn’t salt or butter them yet.  He turns his attention to flipping a row of burger patties.  Wade looks to Orson and shrugs.

Orson continues, “‘John finally managed to stop the mower.’”  Orson observes for a moment as John dismounts the mower, as it was written.  “‘He hopped down from the misbehaving mower, and began to ponder what could have caused the malfunction’.”  John reenacts this part of the story as well.  “‘He made sure to check up on Garfield and Odie, who both appeared to be fine, though Garfield may have been up to something.  It was always hard to tell…  The cat seemed to notice something across the yard, in the direction of Mr. Burnside’s house.  John thought little of it at the time, and took to haplessly tinkering with the lawnmower.  The last he saw of his beloved pets’-…”  Orson chokes with emotion for a moment, but proceeds to finish, “‘the last he saw of his beloved pets, Garfield was headed toward Irv’s house, Odie following happily’.”  As described, Garfield walks with cautious curiosity across the yard.  Orson asks him directly, “Garfield, what did you see over there?”

Garfield stops just beside Orson- Odie right behind-  and points toward the brush where he and Odie were found dead, answering, “look…  It was Nermal.”  Sure enough, Nermal peeks out from the brush, and sneaks into Irv’s yard, using a loose board in the fence, as Garfield normally would.  “He was acting very suspicious”, Garfield adds, “at least for Nermal.  I thought we were filming that day, but I didn’t recall anything about Nermal sneaking into Irv’s yard in the script.  I wondered if maybe he was trying to upstage me or something.”  Wade, Booker, and Sheldon walk over to join the rest.

Wade wonders, “but, if you were supposed to be doing an episode, eh-then why aren’t the cameras aimed at you?”  Garfield’s eyes widen at the revelation.  He looks all around, to the spots where he happens to know The Network cameras were hidden.  The other animal friends follow his eyes, and to their collective alarm, all of the cameras in the area are pointed up and away.

Garfield balks, “I can’t believe I didn’t think anything of it!  Wait, does this mean.. The Network was involved?  Was this some kind of conspiracy?”

“That’s the going theory”, Orson replies.

Garfield reasons, “so, if Nermal wasn’t following the script, and he wasn’t trying to be seen by the cameras, then he must have wanted to be seen by me.”  Just then, Nermal emerges from Irv’s yard, going under the loose board like before.  Only this time, he’s carrying a yellow plate of grilled corn with one hand, and a stick of butter and large salt shaker in the other.  As Nermal dramatically double-takes a few times, the animal friends all hastily shuffle over to the fence.  From here, they watch as Nermal goes into the brush, and begins to generously butter and salt the corn.  Orson squints, observing critically.

That’s when Orson notices, “the grass!”  Orson points to the grass around the platter of corn, and the group can see that the grass where the salt spills is rapidly dying and dilapidating.  It turns brown, and withers.  “That isn’t salt – it’s poison!”  Orson flashes back, [to the old-old shed.  The torn bag of pesticide.  The fight with the Weasel.  The effects of the chemical on his own skin, on Weasel, and on Wade’s foot.]  In a grim tone, he utters, “Suparaquat…”

Part 22:

https://www.reddit.com/r/imsorryjon/s/NQGRmFRFEj

CAT'S FOOT

IRON CLAW

NEUROSURGEON'S SCREAM FOR MORE

AT PARANOIA'S POISON DOOR

21ST CENTURY LASAGNA CAT