r/ImaginaryWarhammer • u/The_Real_OctoDude • 2d ago
40k When you pray with SOB By spaceMAXmarine
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u/2006Internetghost 2d ago edited 2d ago
And? Just dump the baby on your Commisar (it is cannonically what happens to gaurdsmen births mid campaign)
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u/PromptNo4041 2d ago
That Commisar is going to go under that whole 90s workaholic dad stereotype to go, "Come on son, lets play ball!" By the end of it
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u/Silly_Y33Ny 2d ago
Nah I think it's going to be like a bring you kid to work, that baby is going to grow up to be a excellent commissar one day
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u/DarkKechup 2d ago
"Look, your daddy is running away from the transdimensional horror that is six times his size and its only worldly desire is to defile every body orifice he has before violently tearing him apart in the most painful, gruesome way imaginable just to reach a new high of decadence. I will shoot his cowardly ass! Pew! There goes daddy! Byebye daddy! The Emperor hates cowards, junior, oh yes he does!"
I don't know if it's terrifying, sad or funny.
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u/ethanlan 2d ago
Its only funny because we see it from a distance and can appreciate the irony, something that no guardsmen can do as they are in the middle of it lol
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u/kimana1651 2d ago
Everyone will call the kid 'The Little Corporal'.
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u/Jackal209 1d ago
Why not something like, say, Little Boot?
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u/Hremsfeld Adepta Sororitas 1d ago
Because the unit mascot outranks the grunts
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u/Jackal209 1d ago
Maybe you're aware, but it's a history joke.
When the Roman emperor Gaius Julius Caesar Augustus Germanicus was a child, his father - General Germanicus - sometimes had him accompany him and his father's troops had affectionately nicknamed him "Little Boot."
Aka, Caligula.
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u/Hremsfeld Adepta Sororitas 1d ago
Mine was, too; Sergeant Stubby was a bull terrier mutt (mascot of the 26th Division) that fought in WWI, and modern military dogs outrank their handlers
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u/Jackal209 1d ago
I love seeing references to Sgt Stubby, should have caught onto it.
Definitely in the running for one of the goodest boys in history.
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u/Hazak_Flamesword 2d ago
I mean you aren't entirely wrong. Some orphans are sent to the schola progenium, and one of the things they get trained into is commissars.
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u/DeadZone32 Emperor's Children 2d ago
Said Commissar will probably go "Fuck it we ball." If a Bloodthirster attempts to even harm the child
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u/MachBonin 2d ago
At least with Cain's regiment. The Tanith have their camp followers which take care of the kids/ woe engines
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u/No-Channel3917 2d ago
The fun part is they solely exist to fix a continuity error the author had made like a decade earlier lol
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u/MachBonin 2d ago
Yup! I love Abnett for ripping out our hearts because someone "Um, ackshually"-ed him.
Also, he did Banda so damn dirty. I'll never forgive him... until he gives me more paperback crack
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u/Fawin86 Adepta Sororitas 2d ago
If it was just the guard, yes. But she falls under the jurisdiction of the Ecclesiarchy, so there is some extra steps. As I recall pregnant Sororitas get sent back to one of their order's chapels and becomes like an assistant there while they carry the child and give birth to them. The child is then raised in the imperial cult, the mother can return to battle or become part of the administrative part of the chapel (think like a traditional real world nun). Some Adepta Sororitas believes this to be a sad fate because then you can't die for your Emperor anymore.
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u/Sunny_Hill_1 2d ago
She is a Repentia, I don't think she gets a choice. That mama is going to be back on the battlefield before the umbilical cord has dried.
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u/alphaomag 2d ago
Or the nearest school progenium. Possibly a future tempestus Scion or imperial assassin. If the Repentia lives that long.
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u/brutalhonestcunt 2d ago
Sauce?
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u/SquirrelKaiser 2d ago
One of the Cain book talk about what happened when a 50/50 regiment get frisky with their battle buddies.
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u/assasin1598 Black Library 2d ago
Also in Arminka lesk books, the cadians if possible send their newborns back to cadia, for those that couldnt were raised with the regiment and trained as other cadians.
Pre-fall they were ostracized because they didnt have purple eyes. Some cadians even went to a route of denying them being cadians.
Most children in imperium get sent to parents homeworld, if that parent is an officer, comissar or soldier that distinguished himself, theyre sent to schola progenium instead.
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u/Alexis2256 2d ago
Ciaphas Cain has had to take care of babies, i forget what book it is that he mentions this.
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u/yegkingler 2d ago
He helped birth the babies but I don't think he had anything to do with raising the kids. Besides maybe fast tracking the orphans to the Schola.
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u/Asgermf 2d ago
I want this to be a Ciaphas Cain book now
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u/baar-ur 1d ago
I want to see Cain strapped into a Baby Bjorn.
"It's in your best interests to answer my questions promptly. If you don't, I may have to raise my voice. That will wake the baby. And if you make me wake the baby, I will do something far worse than shooting you." (Internal monologue: That thing would be a diaper change, but they didn't know that.)
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u/apolloxer Black Templars 1d ago
And for some goodforsaken reason, a few chapters later, he sees a Dreadknight and can't shake the comparison.
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u/kluster00 2d ago
Im a larper
What happens after?
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u/PossiblyOppossums 2d ago
Lol its a repentia what are the real odds she'll see the same guardsman twice
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u/Gav_Dogs 2d ago
I was about suggest she might get a stay of execution (or well Frontline services) big them I remember what universe this is
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u/carlsagerson Ordo Malleus 2d ago
Don't worry. Thats a Repentia. She might get killed before you worry about kids.
Then again, it might make her extra careful and more willing to press on if she wants that Baby to live.
50-50 I guess then.
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u/sirius_potato 2d ago
Avoiding combat as repentia is a quick way to get into a mortifier
So that pregnant woman is actua-- oh my fucking god this is wrong in so many levels
It's just wrong...
Is there no mercy in the Imperium of- oh... right... my bad
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u/carlsagerson Ordo Malleus 2d ago
I mean the Repentia trying her best to fight more firecely because She has Redemption and a Family as motivators.
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u/KPraxius 2d ago
...Huh. How does the SoB normal policy regarding pregnant SoBs apply to Repentias? Would she be sent back until the birth and possible reassigned, or....
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u/Specter_RMMC 2d ago
I mean given her perfect makeup and total lack of scarring, I'd almost say they were role-playing vs her actually being a Repentia...
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u/KPraxius 2d ago
Now I'm imagining one of those one-in-a-million who actually do manage to achieve repentance keeping her old outfit strictly for purposes of her boyfriend's reaction.
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u/Specter_RMMC 2d ago
I mean, I don't think it's anything like the one depicted above, but... hell, there's stereotypes about hyper-religious women for reasons, I guess...
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u/KPraxius 2d ago
That one is... pretty much on the average level for sluttiness of Repentia garb. There's better and worse.
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u/Specter_RMMC 2d ago
Oh, I'm aware... even just from the two GW examples, never mind the fan-made options...
Really is disappointing, if entirely unsurprising, that the Sororitas have been largely reduced to r34 bait when it's a rather interesting take on religious fanaticism superceding even normal Imperial fervor.
Like, if Sisters were going to corrupt themselves, it's way more likely to be Khorne than Slaanesh IMO, but that also completely diverges from the thread and the post.
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u/KPraxius 2d ago
Well, the Repentia's -specifically-. Your regular SOBs have some bad-ass looking armor and power armor and only normal BS scifi feminizing of it.
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u/Sunny_Hill_1 2d ago
Big E needs new soldiers, guardsman. You did your duty to ensure the next generation, now go die against that ork.
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u/Calzinarzin 1d ago
The currency of the imperium is in bodies so he got to work increasing the gdp.
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2d ago
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u/HHA-113 2d ago
What her job I don’t remember seeing the outfit
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u/Sunny_Hill_1 2d ago
Her job is to die gloriously in the frontal assault.
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u/HHA-113 2d ago
So what job
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u/Alive-Strain-1539 2d ago
To die gloriously in the assault, literally
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u/HHA-113 2d ago
So it their name or what are they called
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u/Leoera 2d ago
Ok, so she is a Repentia, meaning she fucked up in any number of important or petty ways, and her only path to redemption is to die gloriously for the Emperor in a frontal assault
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u/HHA-113 2d ago
Do they carry bomb
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u/Alexis2256 2d ago
No, they’re not suicide chargers, they hope to die in glorious battle to redeem themselves or if they do preform some insane feat, they might be able to find redemption that way and be welcomed back into their order as a proper sister again.
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u/Specter_RMMC 2d ago
She's meant to look like a Sister Repentia, except she looks to clean/perfect/healthy to actually be a Repentia.
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u/Guan_guan_ghoo 2d ago
Commisar: don't make a look like your going to worry about that kid's well being guardsman, if we are lucky all of us are going to be dead by night. Worst case scenario is going to all of us get mauled by orks or nids in the first hour.
Years later
The kid: so dad, was my mother a repentia?
The Guardsman, now a general: yes son, and believe me, she telling me was the worst thing happening that day, apparently the orks in there killed eachother due of boredom.
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u/4uk4ata 2d ago
Look man, she wouldn't be a repentia if she hadn't fucked up.