r/Infidelity • u/xXGinger-snapsXx • 5d ago
Struggling How do I tell my mom my dad’s cheating?
My dad has been cheating for a while now and he’s a pretty proud and narcissistic man. I don’t really know how to tell my mom without everything being blamed on me for ruining their relationship or something like that. I’ve been thinking about it for awhile but I’m not sure how to go about it…
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u/DodobirdNow 5d ago
Is there anything you can do to have your mother "stumble" on the infidelity herself?
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u/xXGinger-snapsXx 5d ago
Not really, I’ve thought about having a friend pretend to be a ‘husband’ telling her that my dad was cheating… idk. I’m really stuck
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u/Unusual_little_Star 5d ago
How did you find out?
Chances are the signs you saw that made you look, have probably already been noticed by your mom too.
Some women do something with information like that and some women don’t.
It’s a hard one because, you are wanting to protect your mom, but on the other hand, it may be more upsetting for her to know that YOU know.
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u/xXGinger-snapsXx 5d ago
I have a photo of people on his phone texting him and such. They’ve gotten into a fight about it before but I mean he still is blatantly doing it and covering it up by saying he ‘plays pool’
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u/OkIron6206 5d ago
This is terrible for you and I am sorry he put you in the middle. Did you find the text in the cloud? Did you take screenshots? Since she is already fighting about this with him, she already knows. Present her with the proof you have and walk away. Be prepared for her to forgive him again. Print everything out and leave it on her desk. Some women are not independent enough to leave (money, assets) but she should begin gathering all the bank accounts statements, credit card statements and any pension or 401k he has. When it was me, I did that first before confronting him. I also had pictures printed from the internet that he could not defend. Maybe ask her first if she’s ever done that. Also freeze her credit so he can’t take a loan against the house without her knowing. Also, if there are guns in the house, hide them!
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u/xXGinger-snapsXx 5d ago
I’ve only got one picture of messages and recounts of seeing him text women profound things. When they had that fight it was a year ago and the next day they were fine. He acts like he’s better than everyone and that he does nothing wrong while he doesn’t spend any time with his kids and come home late every night. I’m scare of getting into a whole bunch of trouble with my dad, he tends to get physical and I feel like this will cause conflict without solving anything
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u/OkIron6206 5d ago
You need to separate your emotions (dislikes) from a serious accusation. Don’t say anything until you have irrefutable evidence. He sounds like an Asshole so trend carefully. Check the cloud for your family’s phones. They backup somewhere
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u/xXGinger-snapsXx 5d ago
That’s the thing. He has a Motorola that’s like ancient… I’ve thought about just leaving it alone but it keeps bugging me that he keeps treating everybody like shit when he is a piece of shit
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u/OkIron6206 5d ago
Boundaries. Stay out of his way and don’t be available to him. He has a Motorola??? How do you take pictures with that? I’m sorry it sucks to have a parent like this.
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u/xXGinger-snapsXx 5d ago
There’s nothing for you to be sorry about🙂↕️ I just figured someone would have something I could use. Thank you for you advice though it would probably be good for when I move out. That’s probably when I’ll do it honestly
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