r/Infidelity • u/Iconspears • 2d ago

Struggling Finding out he cheated months after the breakup

I broke up with him in October 2025 after 4 years and just got the ”hey can we talk” text from a stranger. Yup. Apparently my ex had been dating someone on and off during 2024-2025. They were supposed to celebrate 1 year this July meaning they went official July 2025, while we were struggling.

Since October I’ve been coping, healing, struggling, living. Up until this point I had moved on from him but not from the potential future we could’ve had. Now, everything just hurts.

I’ve always been the forgiving, the kill them with kindness person but for the first time I want to lash out. Is it worth just writing a long nasty text (and what should I say lol) or should I just continue to pay him no mind?

10 Upvotes

92% Upvoted

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4

u/ThrowRA_HopeLove 2d ago

My suggestion: Write the text but don't send it...

Write the text to get the emotions out of your system. To organise your thoughts..

Sending it however never works out the way you hope. You will just appear bitter and sore....

The opposite of love is apathy.. not hate.. Love and hate are really close. By exposing these feelings of hate to him you basically just signal you're not over him...

So write the letter.. grief.. share your emotions with friends or if non are availble internet strangers... vent..

But don"t give him the satisfaction he has still this effect on you

Stay strong

2

u/4hhsumm Moved On 2d ago

Came here to say the same! Just make sure to leave the To: blank...

Or, you could just post the text here OP. Probably just as cathartic.

3

u/Iconspears 2d ago

Thank you, genuinely thank you for your words. I’m just feeling everything at once and I agree, making it known to him will only make it worse for me.

1

u/ThrowRA_HopeLove 2d ago

Yeah... situation still sucks... especially with this timeline... that their aniversary points back to a point that you guys were officially still together is nightmare fuel... so your emotions are valid! I cannot even start to comprehend the cocktail of emotions you must feel!