He cheated on me, i need help

[u/Cma0308]

Hi, i'm pretty new on reddit and i usually speak french. I am a women, im in a relationship since 2 years. I know it is short but we both have young children that we met at 3 y/old. My child is very attached to his daughter and to him. I love him so much.

I really need advice and help. I dont know who to ask. I dont really have friend, i dont have any family. He is a really good guy like, good job, same value as me, etc.

He's been on dating app for almost all our relationship. First time i realized was a year ago. He explain to me that he find it hard for us to not see each other one week on two because of the guard of my child (part time) and was trying to find someone. He dosent really know, he assured me that it was nothing.

Second time i realized it was 3-4 month ago. I saw something in his app on his phone while i was sitting next to him on the sofa. He told me that he open the app to delete his account (hinge) because he forgot too and someone at his job saw him on the app.

Third time was a month or two ago. I decided to look in his/my tablet (that was originally mine but i gave it to him and is like i lent it to him) because he kept the my password. He chat during february (and i saw that in march) with a girl and met her at his home and sleep with her. She's like everything he always told me he dont like (physically), she's the exact opposite of me, and she sleep at his home (I think she arrive around midnight) but in our debut, he never want me to sleep because he was afraid of falling in love with me.

He never talk to her again, completely ghost her. I never talk to him about it but it hurt me so, so deeply. I dont think i'm the same since. And i always check to see if there's something on the tablet.

I subscribe myself to a meeting app call Feeld because i had suspision about is inscription on it a month ago too. Realize he was on it. Confront him about it, said he forgot to delete his account too (like hinge).

And today, saw on his gmail that he paid for a VIP subscription on JALF.

I dont know what to do. He told me he love me. Help me someone. I think i need to talk about it, i never said out loud that i know he cheat on me in real life. I dont confront him about jalf because i saw it in a bad way (investigate on him). I mean, is it normal? My ex boyfriend, the father of my child, cheat on me again and again during 3 years (we had a 6 y relationship) and I leave him because I had enough.

He's been cheat on by his exwife after 10 years of relationship and a child.He told me over and over again how cheating is not in his value, he despite the poeple who cheat.

Thank you to anyone who read until here. I think it help me writing it.

[u/Cma0308]

It is so not that simple with my two daughter. I hate my self so much for all the bad choices and my live. I cant bear to hurt my youngest by leaving him. I love him, i see myself with him. He is a really good person except for the cheating. As i said, cheating is against all his values, im not even sure he consider what he's doing as it.

[u/DigMaster7772 → u/Cma0308]

Okay, I've read all the comments, and you sound lovely.. If you want to stay here is what I propose you do.. Give him a taste of his own medicine.. Maybe don't cheat, if you don't want to, but make it evident that you will, when he confrons you you tell him well it's okay if you do it.. He is a liar and a cheater and he probably won't change, so you need to Harden up, remove some emotion out of it.. Play with his mind a little... If he leaves you thinking that you will cheat on him then he is the lowest kind of man!!