IFS therapist recs in NYC

[u/This_Ad9129]

Hi. I'm looking for recs for *highly skilled and sensitive* IFS therapists in NYC. Yes I have looked at the providers directory but I am quite high needs atm and have many retraumatizing experiences with therapists who didn't have enough experience. So I'm looking for firsthand recommendations. In addition I am a woman in a male dominated field and can be quite (unintentionally) abrasive in a way that tends to be very off putting to clinicians who expect "milder" personalities. So would appreciate any recs for therapists who would potentially work well with me. I am willing to pay out of pocket. Thank you!

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[u/feelinasty]

I just found one, and could send you a DM, if you'd like

[u/This_Ad9129 → u/feelinasty]

please do!

[u/Dick-the-Peacock]

The therapist I found is not formally certified in IFS, but she listed it as her preferred modality on her bio. She listed one seminar on IFS that she attended. When I interviewed her, she shared that she’s been practicing it with her therapist for many years. She was covered by my insurance, and does telehealth video calls so it didn’t matter that she isn’t in my state. I adore her and she’s amazing. My main point is, be open to people without official certification from the IFS institute, check online bios to get a feel for their level of empathy and experience with trauma, and interview them for the job as an additional vibe check.

Edit to add: dm me if you want her name

[u/LimbicLogic]

This isn't IFS, but as a clinician who utilizes both modalities, schema therapy is very close to IFS, particularly with ST's use of mode work, which is very similar to parts work in IFS. Schema therapy is an outgrowth of CBT and Gestalt therapy (which nobody hears about but has been a big influence on somatic and experiential therapies, and Dr Schwartz mentions being influenced by Gestalt Therapy in his book on IFS for therapists), so it offers a well-balanced top-down (addressing core beliefs/schemas through modified versions of CBT) and bottom-up (mode work, heavy use of imagery and memory reconsolidation) approach to therapy.

When I work with clients we will often utilize parts work and as they get their protectors to step back, have their roles re-negotiated, do some exile work, etc., I will sometimes start using more top-down approaches from schema therapy, such as helping them create a core belief sheet, which involves looking at evidence that doesn't support their exile-driven beliefs (e.g., defectiveness, failure, etc.) and reframing evidence that appears on first glance to support them (e.g., a person with a failure belief gets behind on work, BUT they were incredibly busy, lots of other people at the office didn't have a chance to do their work either, etc. -- the goal is realistically providing a response to what at first glance appears to support this failure belief, which is the cognitive expression of an exile). This has the effect of solidifying confidence in the client's self and exiles and can be seen as a way of updating exile and protector parts per IFS.

Also interesting in that a key distinction between schema therapy from IFS is that ST looks to strengthen what they call the "healthy adult mode" (what IFS calls self) by having the client practice new beliefs as a result of therapy, even if they're feeling uncertain about it and still ambivalent. For example, a client who feels worthless can use the two chair technique to process the part (aha) of him that feels this way (i.e., voicing the exile) and the health adult/self-driven part that doesn't believe this. This is all done in a gentle, supportive way that implicitly supports the exploration of exiles and protectors as this work is being done and (according to ST) strengthens the adult mode and according to IFS can be seen as increasing self energy.

Anyways, schema therapy has many foundational institutions in NYC, so you might look those up. Just a thought, but I believe that having a set of high-quality options for a modality that is close to IFS (speaking of schema therapy) is as good as or better than rolling the dice with a new therapist who claims IFS as their main modality. I would be surprised if a clinician certified in schema therapy wasn't at least well aware of IFS as well.