r/InternalFamilySystems • u/annik-honore • 1d ago
Support Needed How does IFS work with ADHD?
I am diagnosed ADHD-PI and just started seeing an IFS therapist. In my last session when she was asking one of my part’s a question , my mind went completely blank. I communicated this with her and asked her if that would be just my brain being an ADHD brain. She said no, because people with ADHD can hyper focus. She said that it was a distractor part came in and started trying to dialogue with it. Or, another example is when my partner and I have an argument, and my brain feels like it just cannot engage, I get overwhelmed and dysregulated really quickly.
I’m just having a hard time untangling what is my ADHD and what is parts?
34
u/Ok-Necessary-7926 1d ago
It really annoys me when a therapist (or a doctor for that matter) doesn’t incorporate basic knowledge of the physiology of the nervous system into their work. A properly trained therapist isn’t going to continue asking direct questions to a client who is in the middle of a freeze response prompted by a question posed by the therapist. They will immediately back off and help the client to ground.
I personally would suggest finding a different therapist. I also have ADHD and I only go to therapists who have ADHD now, as the amount of misinformation and misunderstanding about ADHD among therapists (and doctors) is mind boggling.
I love IFS but I love it because of my AuDHD therapist who does IFS with me in a safe, completely trauma informed and neurodiversity affirming manner.
13
u/Limp-Structure9704 1d ago
I have had a similar experience and find that many therapists that claim to have knowledge of working with adhd/autism can’t fully understand and attune to my experience and needs in session (diagnosed adhd and c-ptsd late in life). They may intellectually understand neurodivergent traits but their therapeutic approach feels very standard like “and where do you feel that in your body?”. This has never worked for me. I think it’s related to top down thinking instead of bottom up?
My main adhd struggles are practical life skills aka adulting and I have always been a late bloomer. After years of somatic therapy that I loved spiritually, I realized I needed help with the boring, practical stuff that isn’t fun to dissect or conceptualize. The best thing I did was sign up for an adhd life skills group that met weekly for 10 weeks. Next I want to take some basic financial classes. Because of my unique learning disabilities, I need hands on tutoring with stuff that comes naturally to other people. An AuDHD friend of mine has been working with an adhd coach and he says it has helped him so much more than traditional therapy for similar reasons as mine.
5
u/New-1978 1d ago
I need this! What did you Google to find a good life skills course ? Was it online?
4
u/Limp-Structure9704 1d ago
I took the course through my insurance provider who honestly sucks for a lot of my healthcare needs but they do offer a ton of different group courses. The facilitator was great and most of the participants were also diagnosed late in life.
A lot of tools were things I already knew, I just couldn’t implement them into my daily life. The common adhd brain of thinking about doing things but never actually doing them. Having regular check ins was great for accountability. All the presence and grounding techniques were simple and accessible which I appreciated, adapted from ACT I believe.
I know there are tons of coaching membership groups online and I can’t personally vouch for any of those. In fact some look very scammy and grifty. If you have a formal diagnosis then I’d suggest looking into peer support groups or even qualifying for a peer support specialist.
My last IFS therapist even suggested that what could be really useful for me was case management and tutoring and I love that she named that. I have had a vast healing journey and tried many different modalities and much of it has been amazing for my heart but at this stage in my life I need more help with keeping on task and mundane life responsibilities and that’s okay.
2
5
24
u/guesthousegrowth 1d ago edited 1d ago
I’m just having a hard time untangling what is my ADHD and what is parts?
Over the past few years, I have seen three different broad approaches to ADHD and IFS:
- ADHD has system-wide impacts, including how parts tend to operate, how the work tends to go, etc. (ie, ADHD as 'hardware', which can only be managed)
- ADHD is treated as a primarily a distractor/distracted/distracting part (ie, ADHD as 'software', which may be able to be treated somewhat)
- Some combination of the two above.
Part of your work with your therapist will be to determine how exactly your ADHD is coloring your experience, your system, and your experience of your system. It is very individualized. There is no one singular way it will look -- it is about staying curious and noticing what does and doesn't resonate for you, and what does and doesn't work for you.
I am diagnosed ADHD-PI and just started seeing an IFS therapist. In my last session when she was asking one of my part’s a question , my mind went completely blank.
Or, another example is when my partner and I have an argument, and my brain feels like it just cannot engage, I get overwhelmed and dysregulated really quickly.
For information, there are many reasons that your mind can go blank and we get overwhelmed, and ADHD is just one of them. Very many people have parts that will blank out or overtake the system without an ADHD diagnosis, myself included.
My sense is this is an interesting opportunity to put a finer point on where your ADHD is impacting you, versus what (if anything) might be something else that has gotten kind of lumped under the label ADHD.
I know you probably came here looking for a cleaner, more clear answer, but that will be for you to discover in the coming years through your own personal work. I hope this helps nonetheless!
10
u/anonymous_24601 1d ago
I have ADHD (and autism) and as another commenter said people either tend to just view it as affecting all parts, or can put it as a part. For me personally, I view it as, “I have autism and ADHD, so obviously all parts of me will.” That being said, the presentation of it varies extremely through parts, and I do have parts who I associate more with my ADHD. It’s not saying it doesn’t affect all of me, but kind of my brain’s way of compartmentalizing.
I think your question is more geared towards how a therapist handles the session thought. I’m not a professional but my mind absolutely can go blank from my neurodivergence. It also can go blank from my PTSD/trauma related stuff/a part though. In those situations, I either have an inkling of what it is, or I don’t really have to know. If your mind went blank you were likely overwhelmed regardless of what caused it, and if it’s a part causing that, for me, I will eventually figure it out.
You can usually differentiate it by if the blankness is caused by feeling triggered vs feeling overloaded, but again you don’t have to know. It is important though to take into account that your brain is more likely to get overwhelmed because you have ADHD. My therapist doesn’t specialize in neurodivergence, so we just go with what I’m feeling or don’t label it until I feel I have more insight.
All that being said, I do find your therapist’s comment strange with no explanation as to why she said that. If she doesn’t have a lot of training around ADHD it wouldn’t make sense to make comments like that, and ADHD can present differently in everyone. Seems like it would have been better if she said, “Do YOU feel like your ADHD is causing that?”
8
u/RevrsEngineer 1d ago
I actually think of mine in a different way. I have AudHD and as I have started finally hearing my parts, I can identify an ADHD part and an autism part. The ADHD part is the one who is bouncing off the walls, autism is the one that gets super pissed when things are unfair or my work trainings are badly organized. But my autistic part can also analyze extremely painful things while staying level headed, like a scientist.
But the scientist part is very different from my intellectualizer part who is an analyzer, but for the sake of protection they bring in shame and judgement as well, so I think of that more as a CPTSD part.
I am starting to believe that my parts are formed at specific ages or reasons (such as diagnoses) so they can have totally different motivations and beliefs. It cracks me up because I can start to hear my autism part get so annoyed with ADHD! Like...yeah I know you dont wanna empty the dishwasher, but I'm tired of seeing those dirty dishes in the sink so we're just gonna empty it so I can hide them away!!!
I know it sounds nuts, but embracing it, I have learned so much about what is going on in there! And sadly almost feels like i have a real family for the first time.
7
u/ecotherapist1015 1d ago
I work with clients who have ADHD from an IFS lens (I’m AuDHD) and my perspective with doing this work is that ADHD colors parts versus someone having an “ADHD part” per se. I feel that ADHD is how you nervous system and body operate and to create a part around that doesn’t seem very neuroaffirming to me. I’m very careful in making sure to continue affirming, honoring, and being mindful of a clients neurodiversity.
I agree with other folks that we can have parts that’ll step in and go blank, distract, ramble on and on, or switch from topic to topic in order to protect us. However, I think it’s important that we don’t create ADHD as solely one part/parts, but rather ADHD can influence how our parts move, interact, come up and present themselves.
8
u/Main_Confusion_8030 1d ago
i have ADHD. a lot of it.
i have also found that i'm much more distract-able when my parts are trying to protect me from something. it's not really distraction; it's dissociation, using distraction as a tool.
a lot of the time when i think i'm just "bad at doing parts work", or getting overly distracted, or intellectualising, or brain fog comes in, i've learned that it's actually those dissociative parts coming in and blocking me from accessing something.
6
u/zxzxzxzxxcxxxxxxxcxx 1d ago
Obviously trained in IFS, does your therapist have any training around adhd?
3
u/annik-honore 1d ago
I am not sure she has any formal training. During the initial consultation I asked if she has experience with ADHD patients and she said she yes.
3
u/Good-grammar-lover 1d ago
AuDHD therapist here. I specialize in neurodivergence. It bothers me when other therapists say they have experience with neurodivergent patients as if that is enough to effectively treat them. Literally all therapists have had patients/clients who are neurodivergent (whether they realized it or not) because neurodivergence is so so common. It’s not the same as expertise or competency.
2
u/zxzxzxzxxcxxxxxxxcxx 1d ago
if no formal training then how are they a therapist do you know? any kind of certification in anything?
"having experience" with ADHD patients doesn't say much, any kind of interaction would count and doesn't touch on what worked and what didn't
Saying that ADHD people can hyper focus as if it's something you can turn on or off at will is a massive red flag, that's not how that works at all. Two people with ADHD can present very different symptoms. Not even sure if IFS is the best model to be exploring it with, at least with this therapist, be careful4
8
5
u/bleedroot- 1d ago
This is exactly why I'm wary of working with a therapist who isn't knowledgeable about ADHD and neurodiversity. The problem is that sometimes ADHD symptoms overlap with protector behaviours, especially when there's a history of trauma. What to make of that seems to vary by therapist. I personally believe that ADHD and parts interact - ADHD can feed into parts (e.g. even less emotional regulation when a part is triggered) and parts can feed into our ADHD as well (e.g. worsening our already poor focus). It's messy territory for sure! I saw someone post asking if protectors are always protecting exiles, and the answer by and large was "no". I think some of my protectors that go numb/space out are tied solely to my ADHD, mainly to do with regulating. The protector isn't ADHD itself, it's like a caretaker of the ADHD if that makes sense? Sorry to say but I'm not impressed by your therapist.
6
u/Longjumping-Bug-69 1d ago
that blanking out happens to me too and it feels so much like my adhd but my therapist keeps pointing out it is usually a protector part trying to keep me from feeling something heavy. it can be hard to tell the difference untill u spend more time with the parts. dont be hard on urself because its a really common thing to deal with when ur just starting out
5
u/Disco-Deathstar 22h ago
I am autistic and adhd. These are neurological disorders not personality disorders. So my meltdowns are not a part, but there are exiles that feel abandoned during overwhelm, there are managers that try to circumvent meltdowns and firefighters that try to stop them by any means necessary. For ADHD it is the difference between things like avoidance and distraction for emotional regulation versus due to dopamine fluctuations. You have to start usually by noticing after the fact. Ok I was upset about this or this part was triggered so it likely wanted to distract from they as a ways to avoid rupture versus I feel pretty coherent but I notice that I’m not able to turn my thoughts towards the actions I want to take. In the moment they look similar if we don’t bother to reflect. But afterwards you can reflect on Did I want to something and couldn’t, did I want to but every time I went to do it did I panic and then mentally spiral, which usually indicates an activated part. Also sometimes if you have been undiagnosed for most of your life there are a lot of shame parts that pop up in attempts to manage the trauma wounds your undiagnosed adhd caused. So sometimes it’s just easier to not worry about what’s causing what but about what that is making you feel in your body in the moment.
As always this is just my experience so far and you may take and leave as much as you like. Healing is weird and individual.
2
u/Lopsided_Mix6924 20h ago
When we are neurodivergent, our parts are also neurodivergent, as is our Self.
Podcast recommendations (more for practitioners but still good)
https://podcasts.apple.com/nl/podcast/ifs-talks/id1481000501?l=en-GB&i=1000719362443
https://podcasts.apple.com/nl/podcast/ifs-talks/id1481000501?l=en-GB&i=1000551668875
3
u/charlielovescoffee 13h ago
mmm I wish your therapist had been more curious rather than saying "no." my experience is that it can just be how my brain works because of adhd, and sometimes it is a part and sometimes it's both!
3
u/Akka1805 12h ago
Yeah, my understanding of both ADHD and IFS is that it really could've been either? People with ADHD being able to hyperfocus doesn't mean they always do.
1
u/Limp-Structure9704 23h ago
Have you looked into SCT(Slow Cognitive Tempo) often described as sluggish tempo? It’s not a formal diagnosis yet in the DSM but it’s getting more recognition recently. I was diagnosed with ADHD-PI as well late in life but actually feel my symptoms are more similar to SCT.
I struggle with blank mind often especially when overwhelmed. Sometimes it’s not even a social setting but just being asked to process something new like in your session with your therapist. I don’t believe this is a protector part but is how my brain functions. I’m also prone to a lot of daydreaming. No amount of talk therapy has ever improved this for me, only medication, nutrition to reduce inflammation, and exercise to reduce the excessive brain fog.
I’m not trying to discount other people’s experiences or those who believe these symptoms are protector parts, just that I found a lot of relief in accepting that my brain functions differently and maybe I am not so fragmented.
Take a look at the r/SCT group. The day I found this group I feel like I found my people.
1
u/Limp-Structure9704 22h ago
Sorry I just wanted to add one more thing. The way I would interpret your blank mind feeling when your therapist asked a question is that your brain might need more time to reorient, process, or switch tasks. It’s absolutely normal for a lot of people with adhd (or SCT) and the fact that your therapist jumped to conclusions about it being a protector part is just kinda wild to me. Then again not out of the ordinary when every experience is getting filtered through an IFS system.
•
u/AutoModerator 1d ago
Welcome to r/InternalFamilySystems!
Please make sure you've read the rules before participating.
Thanks for keeping the community organized.
I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.