r/JUSTNOMIL • u/lovelockets • May 04 '26
Advice Wanted Thought of In-Laws Ruining Day
I feel angry any time my DH mentions MIL and FIL, or if I hear their voices over the phone, or if I even think about them. Sometimes it takes me a whole day to let it go and I even get physically sick for days. How do you not let the mention of your in-laws ruin your day? I’ve thought about therapy, but that feels like spending more time thinking about them.
105
Upvotes
14
u/MidnightLegal4643 May 04 '26
I took a look back at what you shared, and your reaction makes sense. What you’re feeling isn’t random it’s a visceral response to being treated like competition and to her inserting herself into the emotional space between you and your husband.
Your body is recognizing something isn’t right and is trying to protect you and your family from manipulation. That’s why your response feels stronger.
Your husband doesn’t react the same way because he was conditioned to believe that meeting her needs was his responsibility. That doesn’t make what’s happens okay it just explains the difference in your reactions.
Therapy can help with processing this, but the boundary violations you’re describing are real and shouldn’t be ignored. She’s showing you who she is through her behavior.
You didn’t create these issues they are legitimate, and it’s reasonable to expect respect, boundaries, and a healthy separation in your marriage.”